Giving up on 'the eating wars'

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Last night I watched my husband eat some chocolate cookies. I felt resentful the entire time. Why, when I am trying so hard to lose weight and eat healthier, isn't he co-operating??!! I looked at the nutritional information: 170 calories per serving, 4 servings the package. Gluten free they might be, but not calorie free!

On this last vacation, I finally was able to let go (kind of, mostly) of the feeling of unfairness as I watch other people (read, slender people) devour sundaes, chips and cookies. It is hard to fight off the feeling of "Fairness" -- ie. where is my fair portion, if you can eat that amount, I get to too. Maybe it's a hold over from my younger days with older siblings, that feeling that the dessert needs to be divided in 5 absolutely equal portions.

I just can't 'keep up' eating with my husband and kids. It isn't a question of fairness, my body just doesn't need those cookies, ice creams, endless chunks of cheese, etc. In fact, it would be unfair to me and all the work that I have done trying to get healthy to eat it. I'm going to try to hold on to that idea: that fair does not mean equal; fair means you get what you need, not what you want.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MEMEQ2
    As a petite woman I can appreciate your feelings. I can't eat the same amount as someone who is taller. I have gotten to accept this over time. The truth is that we need to train ourselves to enjoy the things that are good for us. When we get to that point, then we don't feel bothered by seeing someone else be able to eat a big piece of cake. I was never much of a fruit eater because I always wanted "really sweet". Now I am very satisified with fruit as my desert. Last night was a cup of cubed watermelon and it was delicious. You can get there too.

    1744 days ago
    Way to change thinking, I know! My husband is pretty good about eating most of the same food I eat, but the portions! Oh, my! Totally not fair, but I am beginning to accept that. emoticon
    1744 days ago
    Well done! And maybe fair also means learning to want what you need, as well.
    1744 days ago
  • 434TERESA
    Have you done low carb? Keeping my carbs low and only eating carbs from vegys helps keep me from wanting those things so much. You can go to join for free and learn what to do. The first few days is not easy but with time you will find that it is.
    1744 days ago
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