Tiny Spark.

I stopped using SparkPeople more than a year ago because I had to stop tracking. In maintenance mode, I found that tracking made me too obsessive and controlling about my food. I had achieved a more intuitive sense of what I needed to feel full and healthy and I needed to go with that.

However, I've been going through a lot of emotional changes lately--graduating, dating seriously for pretty much the first time ever, losing and gaining close friendships, and looking for a job, to name a few. I feel out of control with eating and at a loss. Logging back in to SparkPeople today and tracking my food for tomorrow, I felt an immense sense of calm and a tiny spark of hopefulness. I think I may need to track from time to time to make sure I don't sneak back towards a sugar-fueled diet. It's not a failure, it's just an aspect of what it will take for me to maintain a healthy body.

Right now, I don't feel healthy at all. I'm half-way between my ideal, healthy weight and the weight I was at when I first started SparkPeople. However, I would say that with the amount of fast food I've been eating and a lack of activity, I'm probably less healthy than I was at 160 pounds. I really hope that tracking for a while will work and help me feel less hungry, more hopeful, and more healthful.

Please wish me luck!