2,500-3,999 SparkPoints 3,458

Aaaand she's back!

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

For all of you out in the blogosphere who have been waiting for my glorious return, here goes everything. To let it all hang out...literally...I weigh over 200 lbs now, depending on the time of day and the scale. So, that's really not working for me. Gotta do something about that.

And like probably 90% of America, I'm paying for a gym membership that I'm not using. Like really not using. I think I went 3 times this past month. That's some really not great stats there. Time for some tough love, I think. I keep telling myself how I "don't want to overdo" and "don't want to diet again" but I have got to do something!

Here's my problem. I love food. I read cookbooks all the time. And I mean all the time. But then I never make anything from them - I just make these huge lists in notebooks and lists on Springpad of things that I want to try. On top of that, I don't really exercise much. Particularly as summer has hit in full force and it's crazy hot out right now. Even though the gym is air conditioned and it's only six blocks away. At least, on the plus side, my chronic back issues are under control. Dealing with all that pain was ridiculous.

And depression - depression sucks. I get depressed for weeks and don't even notice until I'm not depressed anymore. When I'm depressed, it feels like I have to make myself do anything. I can go to work, but I usually run out of food, have to patch together grocery lists, and it all just turns into a mess...so yeah. I'm at a loss as far as where to start here. At least as of right now, my depression is under control. I feel fine, I bought Tide and dish detergent and some other essentials on Amazon, and I'm starting to get my life back together. Last weekend, I finally got caught up on laundry and dishes - that took some doing, I think it had been two weeks for the dishes and a month for the laundry - and at least for now, I'm good to start making some changes about my eating and exercise going forward. Trouble will be keeping with it if things start to become less than great again.

Oh, and the whole waking up at 2 am and downing half a baguette with butter thing? Not cool, carb cravings, not cool. Please, someone out there in the Sparkiverse, say that you also do this....

Thoughts, comments, questions, all appreciated.

Enjoy the rest of your day and thanks for reading!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You are channeling Julia Child for sure. LOL! I'm so sorry you're frustrated right now. Take a little time and scan the articles on craving and 'blind eating'. Decide what you really want...before you chow down. I 'wanted' to eat HUGE today...but stopped, cut my lunch in half....and waited for the rest of it...and never ate it. Did the same thing at supper. Worked for today...and I'm living one day at a time. It will all balance out. Keep Sparkin'!!
    1749 days ago
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