Monday, July 08, 2013

July 8th will always be a day I remember because today I lost my Pug, Trixie - my friend, my companion and my loyal doggie of 15 years. Sadly, I had to make the decision whether to let her continue with her pain or let her go. emoticon

Trixie was over 100 years old in dog years but she'll always be that 10 week old puppy I brought home in October 1998. Her once black muzzle was totally gray. Her springy gait had been replaced by an arthritic limp and legs that slid out from under her as she tried to negotiate her way to the door to go out. I can remember how excited she used to get when I put on her leash and said "out!" Now she couldn't get excited because she couldn't hear me when I called to her. She would be walking beside me toward the door and would walk into a wall or a piece of furniture. Many times she would fall onto the porch because she could no longer negotiate the small step down from the front door to the porch. Trixie was a dog who would wait for you to get home to go potty - even if you were gone for 12 hours. Never would she mess in the house. Now here she was unable to control her bowels and so foggy from doggie dementia that she didn't know what she had done. Trixie was almost blind; just about 100% deaf; had lost almost all her sense of smell and only got up from her dog bed to eat. She slept and ate and had no control over anything anymore. She was leading a life without any quality left in it, and she deserved better So, today, I made the hardest decision I ever had to make. My Vet, who is not one to take putting a dog to sleep lightly, told me I made the right decision - that it was the time to end her suffering and let her go.

I stayed with Trixie until they put the IV that would deliver the twilight sleep into her before that final injection. I kissed her and hugged her and left the room in tears. My husband stayed with her through the process and came out of the room with tears in his eyes, along with my Vet. We all hugged and I cried some more, and we left. My husband said Trixie fell into a deep sleep before the final injection was even given, He said she died so peacefully and so quickly, it was like she was waiting to be free of her struggles in this life. I will be getting her ashes in about a week and I think I will bury them in my garden. I have a ceramic Pug head with a hook next to my front door where Trixie's leash always hung. Her leash and collar are hanging there now as a memorial to my beloved little doggie who stood by me through thick and thin and, at times, when no one else was there for me. I think God has a place for these dear little angels and I know my little angel is there now. Rest in Peace, Trixie.
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. I can tell that you loved your Trixie with all of your heart. My deepest sympathies.
    2832 days ago
  • no profile photo LOVEXAVIE
    I, too, am behind and just read your Comm Highlight and was responding to cheer you on. Now I see that your beloved sweetie has transitioned that rainbow bridge.

    Please know I send you a cyber hug and moreover, smile at the love you gave that dear little girl Trixie. Because of you, she had a wonderful life full of love. That's what all dogs deserve and sadly, way too few get. Your girl was lucky she had YOU!
    Hopefully, you can take comfort in that.

    All the best to you and yours.

    2833 days ago
    Oh no! I just read your "blog of the week" (I'm behind) and decided to look at your page and I see your sad news. I know how your heart is hurting, and I will send my tears with yours. I don't know if you have heard of or believe in the rainbow bridge, but it has brought me some comfort to think of it (google rainbow bridge) I don't think I would want to go to a heaven without my sweet Bizzy waiting for me.

    2836 days ago
  • BRENDA_G50
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I know what a hard decision that was to make because I had to make the same decision for my cat Tiger on May 6, 2013. He had a brain tumor and the vet said I was making the right decision because there was nothing more she could do for him. The meds worked for a little while, but then they stopped working and I had to finally accept that he would never get any better. He had just turned 6 years old in March. I got to stay with him while she gave him the shot that put him to sleep and afterwards got to pick him up and hold him for my final goodbye. It broke my heart. I wasn't able to stay while she gave him the shot that would stop his heart. It has been only 2 month ago and I miss him terribly. He was my fur-baby. At least I know that he went to Rainbow Bridge and is no longer in pain.

    2836 days ago
    So sorry to hear. I had to do that last summer for my cat Snuggles. He was so old (20 in human years) and he had started to lose bodily functions so I made that same hard decision not to let him suffer any longer. My heart and prayers go out to you.
    2837 days ago
  • KELSEY54
    Oh Carol,I am so sorry. I am not sure where I have been that I missed this awful news. Please except my thoughts, prayers and hugs for what you have been through. Thinking of you! Hugs
    Laura. emoticon
    2837 days ago
    Losing our pets is like losing a child. Our mastiff of 13 had to be put to sleep a few years a go. We now have another mastiff who I love very much. Our next dog will be a pug, since they are colored like our mastiffs have been. We are getting to old to handle the big dogs. emoticon
    2838 days ago
    Thank you for adding me as your friend, we all need friends at times like these. I lost my two fur babies, German Shepherds, three years ago, one after the other, and it seems like yesterday. I still grieve for my girls. They were with me for twelve wonderful years and I think they will always be with me in spirit. I am so sorry for your loss.
    2839 days ago
    I am sorry for your lose of Trixie. She was a very cute dog & I bet also very lovable. My friend had a pug similar to Trixie and she was very sick (my friend) for several months of cancer and then she passed. But while she was going through the chemo she took she would lay on the couch most of the day and her pug would sense her health and he would not leave her side when laying down. He would climb up on the arm of the couch and try to lay on her arm or her head. He is a very loving and gentle dog that really comforted her and when she was put into hospice to move out of this life he was there at the hospice laying next to her all the time comforting her from pain. I loved that little dog because I could see how much he gave her. I am sure your little pug was just as loving and it was very hard to say goodbye. I agree with you that God must have a special place for such loving animals. Bless you during your time of grieving over Tixie, I saw my pup everywhere after she passed. I was sure she was standing there and then I would look away and look back and no Winnie. I think I was so used to her being with me everywhere that I had her memory slip into the moment until I realized it was just a memory. Hugs Susan
    2839 days ago
  • no profile photo CHARLIE754
    I can truly relate to your pain at the loss of Trixie. Just today I started what could become the beginning of the end of my own companion Honey, She is the product of a genetic color experiment of a University in a neighboring state. She turned out to be an overall honey tan color, hence her name. We got her and her brother Rickey from a breeder when they were both just puppies, around 2000. Rickey is the usual border collie mix of colors. He has since turned quite nasty and even on 3 occasions out of the blue turned around and attacked me for absolutely no reason. Honey on the other hand is as sweet as her name implies and wouldn't hurt anybody or any other creature.

    19 months ago my wife handed me separation papers with absolutely no advance warning. I was stunned and hurt, but 6 years as a retired engineer from the steel and aluminum industry, 82 acre horse farm hand with up to 17 horses and much other livestock, house husband, home school teacher and caretaker for 3 boys ranging from 4 (6 years ago) to 17 now, I was about ready to give it all up without a fight.

    Honey and some "stuff" like bedroom furniture, car tools, my pickup truck, my clothes, and a dilapidated camper and 1993 Aerostar tow vehicle was all I took with me. She claimed the house, the farm, the stock, the equipment, the 84' by 132' indoor horse arena we built together with the help of a great Amish crew, and sole custody of the 3 remaining children which really hurt. The youngest has never even seen where I live. Thank heavens that 3 out of the remaining four adult children stay in close touch and visit often. Two out of four have families of their own.

    Getting back to Honey, I live with her as my sole companion in a log cabin rental in the middle of several acres of mowed grass at the northern tip of Wayne National Forrest. The rent is unbelievably low so long as I maintain the building and grounds and pay the utilities, which are also fairly reasonable. I got to keep my 2 pensions and SS payments and she gets the kids SS payments. Honey and I walk 1.3 miles along the back country road just about every day. There are only 4 neighbors within a 1 mile radius. She still seems to be in reasonable health for a 13 year old, but she has just developed a cough just like a former close neighbor's dog which developed heart worms and is just about dead with them. I made an appointment for a complete physical and heart worm checkup for her just today for later this month. Waiting is going to be very hard. That long brisk walk every day is what keeps us both going especially me at 76 and with osteoarthritis and high blood pressure.

    I agree with one of your bloggers who advised you not to wait too long to go find a rescue dog. That's the best way I know to fill the void that losing man's best friend inevitably leaves. I've lost five over the years myself and it's never easy.

    2839 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/12/2013 3:51:15 PM
    I am sorry for the loss of your furry friend and companion. The dog of my childhood was a Boston Bulldog also named Trixie. I was an only child and depended on my Trixie to be my friend and playmate. She too lived a long life and when she got old she had some sort of seizure disorder. While she was young and healthy though we made lots of memories. When she heard the doorbell ring she would scatter every throw rug in the living room racing to the door to bark and let them know she was on guard. She loved to play fetch and to be swung around while holding onto a towel with her teeth. My cat let me dress her in doll clothes and she would sleep in the baby buggy, while Trixie would only tolerate a hat for a short time, but we always had lots of fun. I know you will cherish the memories you made with your Trixie as much as I have through all the years. We will carry their little paw prints on our hearts forever.
    2839 days ago
    Your loss is so sad...I can definitely relate to it! I had to put my Shiba Inu, Gryff, to sleep last year and it was horrible. I couldn't get over the feeling that I was betraying his love and trust by putting him to sleep. It took me awhile to accept it truly was for his best. I still miss him, and think of him, and am so very grateful he was in my life. You too will eventually get beyond the pain of the loss to the joys of the memories. God Bless!
    2839 days ago
    My sincere condolences on the loss of your Trixie. emoticon
    2839 days ago
    So sorry for your loss but don't wait too long to adopt another rescue it really helps with the grieving process. Best wishes.
    2839 days ago
    I am so sorry for your loss. We had to put our 19 year old cat, Sophie, down on July 1. You definitely know when it is right to do it. Our Soph was dying, and I saved her some very uncomfortable days/hours. Hang in there. I am trying to do things to the house now while there is not a cat to be disturbed, however, I would rather have her back healthy in a minute. I know you made the right decision.
    2840 days ago
  • GINA180847
    Our heartfelt sympathies on the loss of your loved one. Last year when we lost two dogs (our old dog could not move or control anything anymore and our young fellow had an encounter with a wheel and the wheel won)I could not have written anything to you I was so full of sorrow and just wanted to not think about the love of animals at all. But then in the fall we went to Mexico and a little white ball of very dirty stinky fluff velcroed herself to us and we were in love again. Best move we ever made when we took her to a vet and she was cleaned up, given shots and vitamins. Even though she went through a major illness in the following 2 months and we fought to get her thru it the risk was worth it. Today she frisks around like a little pup and adores long walks though the 12 km. walk I took with her recently left her quivering for an hr. It was too much as she ran circles around us. In Mexico, my Spanish teacher begged me to look after her Rottweiler rescue fellow and guess what... love again. He has been a story all on his own with allergies, chronic bronchitis etc. Any way the point is you will feel great sorrow for a long time but your little Trixie is over the rainbow bridge with no pain, smelling great fields of fresh grass and hints of rabbits and squirrels and thinking of you. She will hope that you will love again and your warm heart will eventually find another like her but unique as all dogs are.
    2840 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7363165
    So sorry for your loss. She will be in your heart forever, and you will be in hers too. You were blessed to have had each other for so long. Hope you feel better and cherish all the sweet memories as time goes on.
    2840 days ago
  • LINDAT505050
    I am so sorry for your loss. I love a pug and I know she brought you great joy and companionship. You will think about her every day and miss her so bad. It will take a long time for your pain and loneliness to ease off but it will get easier. I agree with your decision to bury her close to you in your garden. That is her home and she has a special place there.

    Thinking of you as the days pass by.
    Linda emoticon
    2840 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12120990
    I too know what it is like to have to make that most painful decision. It has been over 6 years since we had to put our very old Lab down but we could not allow the suffering any more.
    Now that time is getting close again for our oldest dog now. Jackie is deaf, partially blind and arthritic. How long do I hang on to her. I don't know yet but I know it will be hard.

    You have my sympathy too.

    But please remember how blessed we are to be able to share our home and our lives with these very special four legged family members.

    I am sorry for your hurting heart.
    2840 days ago
    I am sure you know about the rainbow bridge. If not, here it is:

    I lost my female in January this year, and reading your post brought me back to the pain. They stay with us forever.
    2840 days ago
    Like everyone who read your post and made comments, you affected me deeply and I am so sorry for your loss. Until last September we had 4 dogs--a fawn pug, a black pug, a Boston terrier, and a mixed-breed terrier. Both terriers were rescues. Sherman, our mixed-breed terrier was estimated to be approximately 3 years old when we rescued him almost ten years ago. He required a lot of work--he was not socialized and had been picked up off the street (we found out many years later during an emergency surgery that he had a bullet lodged in his stomach); needless to say he had a hard life. He twice attacked my then older dog, he was a hard one to potty train, and for the first few months he would growl at anyone who sat next to me. I recall thinking that he wasn't like a pair of shoes that didn't fit--he was ours and we couldn't return him. He turned out to be the most amazing dog. Following his emergency surgery in February 2012 he did amazingly well--they removed a very large tumor--basically resected his colon. He rebounded with reslience! The next six months he was the most loving and demonstrative dog--had been somewhat distant before. Suddenly on September 9, 2012, as my husband was preparing to feed all 4 dogs in the morning (with Sherman barking the loudest because he loved mealtimes), he just collapsed on the floor and stopped breathing. I did chest compressions on him for 10 minutes and finally had to concede that he was gone. To be honest, I am still raw about it today. About 1 week after he died and with constant crying bouts and despair, I heard Peter Gabriel's song, Salisbury Hill, on my workout CD and as I listened to the words, I felt a great release. The refrain, "Grab your things, I've come to take you home," made me realize that it was his time and he was no longer ours on this earth. I know he is waiting for us on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge. We and our remaining three dogs miss him intently but he taught us to much. Please accept my condolences, know that it will get better, and listen to the song. God bless.
    2840 days ago
  • no profile photo LANNA22
    My deepest condolences on the loss of your dear little friend; your deep love for Trixie is evident, and there are tears in my eyes as I read your account. Two years ago I made the decision to put my 19-year old cat to sleep, as she was bravely fighting several different diseases, including cancer, in her little body. As you note, it is the hardest decision a pet-parent can make, but it is a selfless and loving decision. I still think of my kitty every day, but now there are more happy memories than tearful, sad ones. Prayers that you and your husband will find strength in each other and comfort in your memories of Trixie in the days ahead.
    2840 days ago
  • no profile photo JUSTDEEPEE
    I am so very sorry for your loss.
    2840 days ago
    I read your blog about SP being so much more than a diet,and went to your Spark page to read more. I'm so sorry that you lost Trixie, but believe that you made the right decision. We lost our Westie, Heather, a couple of years ago from cancer. She was 15 also, and a wonderful little dog...we buried her ashes in our garden too. Like Trixie, she went to sleep very peacefully and then had no more pain.

    You are so right about the people we meet here... they are real friends, even though we may never meet in person. I've added you as a friend, and that that, if you are accepting new friends, you will add me too.

    Hugs, Gail
    2840 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/11/2013 12:23:15 PM
    I so understand as I lost my dear Cocker rescue about two years ago, and in the same year our two dear cats, too! they were so wonderful and I miss them so much!
    I do believe they are spirits on the other side...
    Love & Hugs,
    P.S. I had to "friend" you!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2840 days ago
    I am so very sorry! At this moment I am crying over your blog. It really hit home for me because I have a dachshund who is 11 years old and his health is going and I know I will also have to make a decision soon. My husband said that he's eating and going to the bathroom outside so let him be. I don't believe he's ready to go just yet and I'm sure I will know in my heart when that time comes. Peanut (dachsund) will find his own way to tell me if he doesn't go on his own. He cannot wait till I get home and then he's with me till we go to bed, and yes, he sleeps with me!

    Again I am so very sorry - prayers go out to you and Trixie and I do believe that God has a special place for are best friends! She will always be with you.
    2840 days ago
  • ALEXIS1955
    I read your feature blog and really enjoyed it. I decided to click further to your page to find out you had to put Trixie to rest. We just lost our cat due to old age......she just fell asleep. It is hard for some people to understand that pets are a part of a family. It is a loss like any other and then we are able to move on. The wonderful memories of our time with them keep them alive in our hearts forever. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. emoticon for sharing.
    2840 days ago
  • no profile photo HUBCAP50
    My heart goes out to you at this time. I know how painful it is to lose a very special friend like that. I had a Boston Terrier for 16 years which is unusual for Bostons, but one day my husband came home and somehow Willie had gooten hold of a plastic bag with a few crumbs in it. Unfortunately he could not get it off his head and it was too late by the time we found him,, but he was suffering like your Trixie, he had arthritis in his shoulder so bad that it twisted the shoulder out so he had trouble walking. But we did end up with some puppies from him. The only one that looked just like him stole my heart. But the landlord in our trailer court said we had to get rid of our dogs. Well my husband is a IET Nam vet and he is being treated for his DR said he could not make him get rid of them as they are theropy dogs. But unfortunately while we were fighting with him, we had sent Jenny to my daughters to be taken care of but while she was there she got out and was hit by a car and killed. So I lost both of my babies. I hope it will get better for you as time goes by, but she will always be in your heart as Willie and Jenny are in mine, HUGS
    2840 days ago
    Your earlier post (So Much More Than A Diet) came up as a Featured Blog . . . and i stopped by to post a comment . . only to find that you finally had to make that hard decision.

    My heart really goes out to you. Although you know it was the right thing to do, losing a faithful companion will leave a huge hole in your heart and life.

    My little Yorkie (Bad Leroy Brown) is almost 8 and I can see him 'maturing' . . . and the thought of 'that day' is never far away. So we try to make the best of every day.

    Hugs to you during this time. Love on your grandbabies . . . you can usually count on them for a big hug and a good belly laugh.

    2840 days ago
    Every step of the say, you did the right thing for Trixie. Every dog or even every human, should be as blessed as Trixie was, to have someone like you to look over them.

    I know it'll be hard and she'll always be on your mind and in your heart. She could have had no better life than the one she had with you. emoticon
    2840 days ago
    So sorry to hear the news of Trixie; had just read the blog that she was doing better, so glad I checked your SparkPage.
    That is the most painful part of having pets, of course; knowing we'll outlive them. The only thing we can do, which you know, is enjoy them while they're part of our lives.
    Big emoticon & may Trixie always have a special place in your heart.
    2840 days ago
    What a wonderful life your little animal companion had, all the love and care. She was a lucky little dog.
    2840 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12398671
    I am so very sorry for your loss. They really do become like our children, don't they. You made a very kind and wise decision on her behalf. You was lucky to have you in her life as well.
    2840 days ago
    Sorry for your loss. emoticon
    2840 days ago
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is you have lost a member of your family. i know in a couple of years i will probably have to do the same with my Yorkie who is nine this year. I hope i can be as strong as you are when i have to make the decision emoticon

    2840 days ago
  • ELLE_B
    I too have lost fur babies, one a year for the past two years, and I'm so sorry for the pain you're in right now. My deepest sympathy to you and your husband. emoticon
    2840 days ago
    Awww, honey, my condolences. Our fur babies are so dependent on us to make the right choice for them and you clearly did. So sorry for the loss of your beloved Trixie.
    2840 days ago
    Awe honey I just now read your blog. I am so very sorry to hear about your sweet Trixie! I know the pain! I lost my Bosco Boy 6/19/13 he died unexpectedly. He was 13.5 It's hard I lost my hubby it will be 3 years in Nov. I have no children. Johnny and Bosco were my life. I felt myself sinking into a very depressed state when Bosco died. I could not let that happen again for I pretty much given up on life when Johnny died, I fell apart and hit rock bottom. No one could pick me back up but me. It took me 2 years but I doing it. So I did not think I could do this but instead of let myself get to that place again, I decided to move forward. I found myself at the Dog Wardens and I met Ginger. She is a 2 year old lab mix that I rescued from a rotten life. Now I am spending my time teaching her to have fun and be happy! My heart aches everyday day for my Johnny and Bosco Boy but they are with each other and are happy.They would want me to move on and be happy. They will forever be in my heart. I will be praying for you that the pain eases. Just keep those memories close to your heart. emoticon
    2840 days ago
  • KELLIE453
    I am so very sorry for your loss, it is so hard to lose a pet that we love so very much. Just know that Trixie passed away knowing just how loved she was from the moment you got her till the moment she took her last many animals are that blessed? Hugs~Kelly
    2840 days ago
    I totally understand as I have a 13 year old Westie who's been through thick and thin with me. Dogs are such wonderful companions; you couldn't ask for a better friend.

    My condolences. Thank you for sharing your story.
    2840 days ago
    We had to let our beloved Tessa go two weeks ago, she too was 15 years old. It was difficult but I know we made the right decision. You will never lose your memories or the love you shared with her. My sympathies for your loss.
    2840 days ago
  • no profile photo ELLIPTICALGIRL
    My heart aches for you....Hugs...
    2840 days ago
    Carol, I am so sorry........ emoticon I have tears running down my cheek as I write this to you. I went through the same thing with my beloved Sweetie 2 years ago and I KNOW how hard it is to see your beloved puppy getting sicker and sicker and not having control of her functions any longer. What a beautiful picture of little Trixie. God just received another angel into heaven. I hope and pray that Trixie is playing with Sweetie up in heaven.

    My love and prayers go out to you Carol...... emoticon I'm here if you need to talk to me......

    emoticon emoticon
    2842 days ago
  • FRAN0426
    So sorry for the loss of Trixie. It sounds like she was a very wonderful companion. We lost our Sheltie this past Feb. and miss her so much after having her as our fur baby for 14 years. She passed at home with DH and I holding and petting her for an hour b/4 she passed, she let us know this was her time to leave in her own way.
    2842 days ago
  • CHERIJ16
    I am very sorry for your loss. We just went through this a month ago with our best friend Buddy who was 14. emoticon
    2842 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. The loss of a pet can be a great emotional upheaval. Peace be unto you.
    2842 days ago
    Sorry for your loss. She was a real sweet looking dog. You were so blessed to have her for 15 years.
    2843 days ago
    So sorry for your loss Carol. I know she was a wonderful dog and always there for you.
    emoticon emoticon
    2843 days ago
    I am so sorry for your lost. I have gone through the same thing. emoticon
    2843 days ago
  • no profile photo CD12313916
    Sorry to hear of your loss. Trixie sounds like a pet of mine who passed about 8 years ago.

    emoticon to my Chelsea as well.

    2843 days ago
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