:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~
"The desire to stop suffering is not the same thing as the desire to
stop the behavior we are doing which causes us to suffer."
Dr. James Golden
:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~
And I´ll continue with the reflection from that recovery meditation:
"Our disease of addiction causes tremendous suffering to ourselves and
to those around us. It consumes our lives and often leads to
painful losses. No matter how profoundly we long to be rid of our disease,
recovery is not something that falls into our laps just because we
want it. We don't magically stop being compulsive eaters just because
that is our desire. It would be great if recovery happened magically
and all we'd have to do is say, "I don't want this disease any more, I
don't want to suffer any longer." If it were that easy, we'd
immediately find ourselves in a place of complete and total
recovery. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way."
My first comment is - well it does for some! I have met some people who experienced that the instant they admitted that they were compulsive overeaters - the cravings and suffering disappeared, they were "freed" and said that there were no desire left to eat. I do not know what happened later - my experience is about the same with AA - from the moment I attended a meeting it has not been hard at all to stay away from alcohol. Of course there has been moments when I have been tempted, but not very hard and not hard at all to overcome...compared to before AA when I did the most heroic attempts to drink balanced and inevitably fell back into a path that was definitely the wrong direction!
But food - I have done the twelve steps in OA and I am still suffering. Not for the moment, for a week or so I have been what is called abstinent, but I have to struggle and it is hard work. Correction, during the day it is simple, it is the hours between seven an bedtime at night that are really hard to get through without eating something out of plan.
On the other hand - that means I only suffer three or four hours a day, the rest is easy...yay!
Food yesterday - plaice (soon I will know this english word, for the moment I have to look it up every time I want to write it) with rice and carrots:
Had an unplanned icecream at night plus an italian sausage... but that was still inside plan (makes me suspicious about plan
) I decided not to bike to church because I was out with doggy and got all sweaty and thought it would not be nice to show up at church with sweat running.. and I did do 40 minutes on the bike before that so I am happy!