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Suffering - not me, but about:

Monday, July 08, 2013

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"The desire to stop suffering is not the same thing as the desire to
stop the behavior we are doing which causes us to suffer."

Dr. James Golden

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And I´ll continue with the reflection from that recovery meditation:

"Our disease of addiction causes tremendous suffering to ourselves and
to those around us. It consumes our lives and often leads to
painful losses. No matter how profoundly we long to be rid of our disease,
recovery is not something that falls into our laps just because we
want it. We don't magically stop being compulsive eaters just because
that is our desire. It would be great if recovery happened magically
and all we'd have to do is say, "I don't want this disease any more, I
don't want to suffer any longer." If it were that easy, we'd
immediately find ourselves in a place of complete and total
recovery. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way."

My first comment is - well it does for some! I have met some people who experienced that the instant they admitted that they were compulsive overeaters - the cravings and suffering disappeared, they were "freed" and said that there were no desire left to eat. I do not know what happened later - my experience is about the same with AA - from the moment I attended a meeting it has not been hard at all to stay away from alcohol. Of course there has been moments when I have been tempted, but not very hard and not hard at all to overcome...compared to before AA when I did the most heroic attempts to drink balanced and inevitably fell back into a path that was definitely the wrong direction!

But food - I have done the twelve steps in OA and I am still suffering. Not for the moment, for a week or so I have been what is called abstinent, but I have to struggle and it is hard work. Correction, during the day it is simple, it is the hours between seven an bedtime at night that are really hard to get through without eating something out of plan.

On the other hand - that means I only suffer three or four hours a day, the rest is easy...yay! emoticon

Food yesterday - plaice (soon I will know this english word, for the moment I have to look it up every time I want to write it) with rice and carrots:

Had an unplanned icecream at night plus an italian sausage... but that was still inside plan (makes me suspicious about plan emoticon ) I decided not to bike to church because I was out with doggy and got all sweaty and thought it would not be nice to show up at church with sweat running.. and I did do 40 minutes on the bike before that so I am happy!
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  • 1SALMON1
    One of my favorite Sparkpeople vlogs is by Karen, STR458. To help with her tendency to eat in the evening she set a big old fashioned alarm clock to go off every hour. She said the alarm sounded like applause to her, cheering for her that she got through the hour. Then she re-set it for another hour. I don't know if something like that would be helpful. My evening ravenings in the kitchen have been better lately but I am wary about assuming they are gone for good. I'm eating more (what kind of diet is it that tells me I need to eat MORE?) - and more protein -and that seems to help keep me satisfied in the evening. Also, I wanted to tell you that your pictures of your meals look just wonderful! I wanna eat that (the food, not the picture of the food....)
    2339 days ago
    One possible explanation for why night is a struggle is a theory that overeaters might be divided into emotional eaters vs. binge eaters. Emotional eaters tend to go for sweets more, and in the afternoon. Binge eaters go more for savory things at night. Emotional eaters eat for internal reasons, while Binge eaters fall prey to circumstance. Emotional eaters have difficulty stopping, and Binge eaters have trouble not starting. It's entirely possible to have both aspects. For the emotional eater, food is about soothing distress which is why the spiritual support of recovery can seem to suddenly alleviate overeating. I think binge eaters eat to celebrate life, and while recovery can be about that it tends to emphasize moderation. Celebrating life in other ways could be part of it. But like I said, this is all just a theory.
    2340 days ago
    I had to look up plaice too, never heard of that flatfish. I guess it is another name for what we call flounder. It does seem unfair that some of us have to work so hard while others don't seem to work at all. You seem to be doing a great job. Keep it up!
    2341 days ago
    In my experience abstinence is easier than moderation. But, I am not chemically dependent on alcohol or nicotine. That said, even after all these years I have to work at staying in healthy ranges nutritionally and physically. I have to exert control over my cravings and I'm more successful if I limit the exposure. Even then, there are things I'm better not to take the first bite of. I also plan for those things I really love to have occasionally; I just don't keep them in the house. I've learned over and over and over that if I do, I will eat whatever it is until it's gone. So I buy a small portion, or enjoy it when eating elsewhere. I too like eating at night; I make it part of my plan. I don't want to stop eating anything; I use what tools and plans that I can to control the amounts. Be well. emoticon
    2341 days ago
    I never heard of plaice and had to look it up. Looks yummy!
    2341 days ago
  • KARA151
    Great job on getting exercise in.
    2341 days ago
    I have never been to an OA meeting or AA, but I understand the challenges of making healthy choices when they are not always around you and the need to eat under stress. The idea of learning to use exercise instead of food when stressed, to make the best choices you can and not to have drama surrounding that, and being good to your self by feeding your body real food as opposed to empty calories that leave you craving more...a life long journey.

    Love your blog and it made me think as you can tell above- Wish you well, and keep on biking-
    2341 days ago
    Losing weight, like an other addiction, takes a lot of work and is an everyday problem .
    2341 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    2341 days ago

    I like what you wrote about making changes. 'Food for thought'.
    2341 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/8/2013 3:05:02 AM
    Looks delicious!!
    2341 days ago
    Thanks for your comments on OA and AA. Went to an OA meeting once. It was all women, and I felt my being there inhibited their ability to speak about their concerns. Didn't even stay for the whole meeting.

    Trying now what I heard reinforced by the Spark Radio wings girls, as they call themselves. That is to only eat when hungry and only eat till your satisfied. So far, three weeks later, still at the same weight. But I'm telling myself it takes practice and patience. And at least I'm not gaining. Glenn
    2341 days ago
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