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from the The Challenge of Harry Potter Team

Sunday, July 07, 2013

1 hobbit, i mean habit.

i've exercised more and eaten less
but everything comes undone
becomes of the five letter word: stress


I jam pack my schedule, then eat to take of the edge, oftentimes exercise is put on the back burner.

my bad habit- creating a productive schedule that isn't conducive to a health lifestyle. not really productive.

cons of not keeping my schedule (full time college, part time work, part time internship):
that i'll be in college even longer when i've already been in this muggle school forever.
I need to work so i have to keep that in the schedule. and graduating without an internship is pretty silly. so i could cut back on my course load.

which means i'll be in school longer. which means i'll be paying more for college.
but by not cutting back on something, i'll probably gain, like i do every busy semester, though i pack lunches/dinners because i'm so tired/stressed i over eat.

and then i'll feel heavy, lethargic, sad, depressed and my self image wouldn't be at it's best. it would be pretty darn low. i hate that feeling. i want to cry. wallow. somehow perform surgery and separate myself from my stomach.

but i can do the crazy schedule. done it before. gotten tons of credits out of the way. worked. the whole nine yards. so it may be crazy but it's totally doable. and it's efficient. i'll graduate faster and be able to only work and not have to do work and school. and then, and then life will be simpler***says the dream.

pros of giving myself more me time:
I could join that free training group that starts in September and train for the Miami half marathon in January. I could be a runner! i want to be a runner. i want to train and raise money for charity. i really want to do that but if i do the internship my sundays are gone.
I would have the energy and time to sleep AND exercise.
I'd be setting up the habit of not over extending myself once I have a family. I don't want this crazy me- constantly dreaming of the weekend to be as a mom. I want to be able to 'zen.'
i want to know how to take time for ME. i have 2 older sisters both married with kids. one's super crazy busy and she's very overweight and i see how much that bothers her. she was just in town for an event in her husband's side of the family and she didn't say it but she was so upset about not having anything pretty to wear. my sis is awesome, beautiful, successful. but her appearance still bothers her. i wish she would cut back and take care of herself more. my other sister is very zen, stay at home mom, who is fit. i want to find my balance.
I'll learn to wait.
I'll have time to experiment with foods.
I'd be thin.
i could be my ideal weight.
i could be a lean, fit, muscled armed machine.
a fabulous cook. one of those people others refer to us a health guru because i would use things like chia seeds or kale leaves (haven't used them yet).

I don't want to lead a crazy rushed life and if i don't make myself slow down now when will i?

there's also a voice telling me to hurry and get stuff done. why is college taking you so long? for some reason it sounds like my mom.
or the pressure i put on myself has similarities to my mom. why do i have to rush to finish college? is it really so terrible to take a little longer? it'll only be one more semester. is it the social pressure because most of my friend's will finish college ahead of me? it probably is. do i need the degree to feel good? but i'm double majoring so it makes sense for my degree to take longer so i don't think i need it for 'status' among my peers/co-workers. i think the main mom voice is that college is expensive and though i pay for college myself it's the tingling suspicion that maybe i'm not financially savvy and i'm being stupid. so is the why of my super busy schedule, me trying to prove that i'm financially savvy and not stupid?

but i also want to finish sooner so life could start. so it's also my ocd-(not really ocd but leaning toward it) for everything to be in nice, neat boxes. step one, finish college, step two, get a full time job. step 3 dating and marriage.
but i could do dating and marriage now so am i just looking to avoid a further hectic schedule? i think i am. juggling work, college, marriage is just not something i could envision doing right now.
but i really want to date. so i can. which may be another reason i want to have a more relaxed schedule.

having a busy schedule makes me feel validated/important. as in "YEAH, i'm doing something with my life."
wow. i think i just learned something about myself. i'm not sure what to do with that.
i need to feel like i'm doing something productive with my life so i feel validated/important even if it's only in my head.
if that's the feeling i get from this habit of being super busy i could transfer that to being healthy and doing something in my life. but that seems superficial to slow down for the reason of being thin and looking good though health/fitness come along with that.
so maybe it's my need to feel important and good about myself that makes me take on these crazy schedules.

can my need to feel like i'm doing it all/important be satisfied by slowing down and focus on being healthier?

In the book, THE POWER OF HABIT: why we do what we do in life and business. Charles Duhigg says to change an habit we must find a way to get the same feeling that, that habit gave us (like food takes the edge of stress, but so does walking or journaling...substituting habits and getting the same feelings/sensations the habit gave you. like release).

what i'm getting from this mediation, awesome, truth potion tell-all is that I need to busy to feel validated/ important. which is something i need to work on to be ok with who i am when i'm not really busy. but fore now i could use that self-knowledge toward being healthy.


i'm ending my summer semester on Wednesday and i'm not taking the second summer semester. this would be a great time to be busier with health and exercise.

a new gym is opening up near my house. and though i'm at loathe to spend money on anything, i think the promotional price is really good and that once the money is there, i'll be there making sure i get my money's worth.

but...i've been running the couch to 5k running program and have to wonder if i need a gym i'd much rather do group classes. i think i need the motivation of doing something outside my home cuz that i'm too likely to skip on.
so gym or group classes are a great option.
or do iceskating classes. but that's just once a week.

i also think it's time to put my money where my mouth is and hire a nutritionist. really pay it all to make this month magical. to really get it done.

cons: spending money. maybe goofing off due to stress. but all i'm doing for the next month is working without college so there shouldn't be too much stress.
in fact, there will be boredom after work so plenty of time to make myself busy with classes and the like.

maybe i should rejoin the space for classes.

the point: i want a formal food plan/training plan. i know sparks has both but i need a person physically near me holding me accountable.

it'll enhance my life by giving me a formula to follow. a concrete road map instead of me being healthy by 'winging it' and not noticing those little bites, licks, tastes, and binges.

or i could continue running/ using, sparkspeople and have my sister in florida be my accountability person. or?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow, it sounds like you have so much going on that it's running circles around in your mind. It's a great start that you are putting down your concerns and goals in writing which will help you figure it all out. emoticon
    1751 days ago
    Okay... (hobbit...giggles) I just went to your housemate, Panda Hufflepuff's TDR:

    and she also has the exercise she wants to 'do' so I shared a method that your schedule is begging for, called Peak 8 or Sprint 8 and since you're in a REAL crunch for TIME, I can see that you should consider this as your exercise alternative:
    Phil Campbell on Sprint 8 Exercises


    And... it works!! I've been doin' it mostly regular since April (though I've known/studied it since before almost a year ago - to this date, of July) and there's a few others trying it and seeing it's results too. I just don't have TIME to mess with long drawn out cardio or traditional strength training/toning, Gittel. Talk about an attitude RUSH when you 'do' the Peak, not to mention the ENERGY!!

    Suggestion: save your charities for AFTER your internship. They'll still be there and you need to focus on your education - get that out of the way 1st. Just my opinion. Is your sister too far away to 'do' the Peak 8 with you?!! You only need to 'do' it 2-3xwk (I 'do' my Peaks 3xwk) and you are NOT supposed to 'do' them anymore than 3xwk. You could fill in a slow strength training in on your off days (that means, NOT a gadzillion reps, but "slow as molasses in January" reps of movin' like a turtle - holding your weights or pose s...l...o...w...l...y).

    You really do need some forms of meditation or relaxation that you can fall back on. I went to one of your Hufflepuff housemate's blogs on her SPdorm:
    ONICAM (Monica)

    and shared a couple steps needed to get that calm and peace you're looking to instill. Perhaps it will help you to read it and set you on a path for making/taking the *baby*steps* you need for handling the stresses in your life too.

    There's certainly nothing wrong with wanting to keep that focus and in order to have a schedule with TIME blocked out is necessary, but... inside that regiment (you did say it's almost an ocd) you have got to set up a minimum (after the 1st 5 min block is established, set up another 5 min block, and after that is established, set up a 3rd 5 min block) of 15 min each day (preferably in the blurriest most hectic times of the day) to 'do' your relaxation and meditation calming therapy.

    Another suggestion is... have you read The Paleo Diet by Loren Cordain, Ph.D., or Wheat Belly Cookbook by William Davis, MD? Maybe, before tossing a chunk a' $$$cash$$$ out for a nutritionist... buy a couple of books. It's an ongoing process but there's something to be said about making a lifestyle:

    The Best Way Out is Always Through
    by BJ Gallgher (an excerpt from)

    Our journey of life is about progress,
    not perfection.
    It's not about doing one thing
    100% better -
    it's a matter of doing 100 things,
    1% better each day.

    Progress is evolutionary
    not revolutionary,
    and most days we measure our progress
    in inches,
    not miles.

    What matters most
    is showing up for your life
    whether you feel like it
    or not.

    Ask yourself,
    "What two or three little things
    can I do today
    that would move me forward?"

    You'll be amazed
    at how much distance
    you can cover
    by taking it in increments.

    The little things add up;
    the inches turn to miles;
    and we string together our efforts
    like so many pearls.
    Before long,
    look what you have -
    a whole strand!

    Sooo... you've started with your *baby*steps* and now... watch your transformation!!
    P.S. That JELLYBEAN link was sooo COOL!!
    1753 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/7/2013 5:21:32 PM
  • LJOYCE55
    You have a ton of stuff on this page and on your plate. I have no idea what your best choice is, but you are clearly working through this problem that has so many inputs. I hope you find the path that makes you happiest. Good luck.
    1753 days ago
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