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If it's not one's another......

Friday, July 05, 2013

Not sure what to do now.....told my dad, whose 83, we were thinking of moving to Austin and he threw me a curveball by saying he didn't think he would be going with us. His is a long drive between Texas and Indiana where his GF lives and the senior center that he does a lot with when he is there. Plus not sure he wants to go through the hassle of changing doctors etc., etc., etc. He did say he will think about it and let us know. Our lease is up Oct 3rd so have been planning on moving somewhere into a larger place by the end of September as my kids/young adults (dd is 24 and ds is 21) can't keep sharing a room...they need their own spaces.

So now not sure what to do.....OY!!!

This has been keeping me up nights and emotional overeating has been rampant....these last few weeks.

Additional info:

My dad has lived with us since 2001. He moved in with us when we still lived in Indiana and he was living in New York. We have since moved to Georgia and then to Tennessee and he has come with us both times. He drives back to Indiana every now and again to spend time with his GF, who is 80, and to see his friends at the senior center where they have bingo, dances, trips and dinners. He and his GF can only handle living together for a few months before they both get on each other's nerves and then he comes home to us.....
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oh Dee... I'm sorry to hear that! Believe me, I know the challenges of caring for a parent. The most important thing is making sure you're all happy & well cared for. I have been so sporatic on checking in here but want to get back on a routine with Spark. I wish I had checked your blog sooner! I hope all is well & that you give us an update. (Big hugs!)
    2092 days ago
    Oh dear! I can see where that could cause emotional eating! I tried to get my parents to move to our area and they refused. Fianlly brought Mom here after Daddy died and she had to go to a nursing home as there was no other choice. Try to keep your spirits up! Could DD and DS move out on their own? That would possibly solve the space issue. Hope that you have it figured out by now!
    2105 days ago
    2110 days ago
    I hope you guys can sort it out. Surely there are airplanes? Dee, I can't advise you. I trust you will make the right decision.
    2118 days ago
  • CHERIJ16
    I am going to be 65 this month and I would hate to have to move. My mom is 83 and lives a mile away from us so it is very handy. I am the only child so she relies on my husband and I. We winter in Texas and so does she so that's very handy too. She has a network of family and friends here and there and that makes it better for me.
    I hope things work out for all of you as you try to make a decision that will be good for everyone concerned.

    2118 days ago
    Wow!! That is tough! My dad is 83 so I can imagine what you are going through. I hope he decides to go. My dad lives 70 miles away and is a constant concern for me. He will not consider moving where I live.
    2118 days ago
  • DEE797
    Thanks Everyone for taking the time to read my blog. I've added to my blog with an explanation about my dad's situation.
    2118 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/5/2013 6:56:47 PM
    I hope your dad can find somewhere that works for him, so that you can move to where works for you. Not easy for any of you, I am sure, but sounds like a wise plan.
    2119 days ago
    hi love i know it can be hard.what is your fathers health like?if he is in relatively good health i would maybe concider moving with out him.he seems to be settled in his life where he is has a girlfriend so he is not alone and maybe if you think he shouldn´t be left n his own maybe he could get a place in the senior home he helps out in as he will already know most of the people and staff there and you could always visit in as and when needed.just because a person is old doesn´t mean they haven´t got their own mind or don´t have their own life and ideas.there comes a time in life when we have to start living our own life and not building our life on our parants or kids life as after all as the kids get older they will have their own life and ideas.when i first moved here to germany i had seconds thoughts about leaving the country because of my dad but i had two sisters and a brother living in the near.what decided me to go was something my nana had said to me when she was alive and that was we never regret the deciscions we make only the ones we don´t make as we will always wonder what if.hope this helps. emoticon
    2119 days ago
  • THOMS1
    Can dad live on his own? It's a shame to disrupt his life like that but, you have to think of your family also. Do they have assisted living places that he could live at and still have a watchful eye on him? Good luck! emoticon
    2119 days ago
    Been there, done that.....regretted it later but still did it again. How can we break this circle?
    2119 days ago
  • PICKIE98
    I do not know where you live,, nor your family situation, but it sounds like dad loves his life where he is, wants to make the most of his life now and does not want to leave his routine and friends.
    Do you live outside the U.S ?

    I hope you and hubby both get things straightened out and find a bigger place for your adult children. Lots of decisions...

    2119 days ago
  • SPERRIN2012
    2119 days ago
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