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Thursday, July 04, 2013

I really don't want to be a downer to anyone, and maybe that's part of my problem. It's a national holiday, I'm off work, and doing absolutely nothing. My excuse is, it's too hot to go anywhere. I don't drive much, because of my eyesight, and oh, I really don't have any close friends (that are nearby). My closet family is 3 hours away.

I'm a happy person when I'm at work or out doing errands, but I'm mostly a homebody. I think it all started when I started getting healthier back about 16 years ago. There were things I did back then that I wasn't proud of, but my friends were still into the partying, so I just stopped going to the parties. I was also, of course, self-conscious about my weight, and the fact that I didn't have a boyfriend (I was marries for 4 years).

I guess I just got into that mindset, that, I am content to be alone if I'm not at work. I have a decent job, but outside of that, I don't go anywhere or do anything. I love being with my family, but don't get to see them often.

Now I'm getting a handle on leading a healthier lifestyle, and am going out to exercise most days. I think I'm just not content anymore. How do I force myself to make friends, be social? I volunteered at the local library, for a book sale, and they've never contacted me again.

I am thankful I live in a country where I can voice my opinion; very thankful that I have a place to live, food to eat, and am in relatively good health. I celebrate the fact that I am free from harm, and that all my fellow Americans have the same rights (mostly).

Wow, this is a bit of a downer blog post! I am doing well with the SP program, maybe I need a mental health spark?!

Enjoy your holiday, as I have done, in my own way! Tomorrow is another day and I will move forward, not back!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hope you find as you search.
    2085 days ago
    You and me are twin souls. I'm pretty reclusive too even though I live in the city. It just seems to take so much effort to meet someone and do all the introductory stuff to figure out we have absolutely nothing in common And the older I get the more effort it takes!

    I signed up to volunteer 3 times at our humane society before I got into the program - I'm just finishing the training, so I can't say yet whether I'm going to like it or not, but I do hope this will compel me to leave the house .

    We just have to give ourselves the 'talk to them - it won't be so bad' pep talks and then practice self love by accepting that we are this way: alone but not necessarily lonely.
    2085 days ago
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