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Perfect day!

Thursday, July 04, 2013

When I married Donna, I could get both hands around her waist," said my husband's grandfather. Pointing at his full-figured wife, he boasted, "Now look how much I got. That's what I call an investment!"


My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really...She was attacked by a giant crab.


I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast.

Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day.


While doing a crossword puzzle, I asked for my husband's help.

"The word is eight letters long and starts with 'm', and the clue is 'tiresome sameness.'"

"Monogamy," he answered.


Teeing off on the 12th hole at a golf resort, we stopped to buy cold drinks from the young woman driving the beverage cart. As my buddy reached for his wallet, he said to her, "You're in great shape. You must work out a lot."

Flattered, she gave him a big smile and gushed, "Oh, thank you so much!"

The next day a different young woman was driving the cart. "Watch this," I whispered. I walked up to her and said, "Wow, you must work out a lot."

"Yeah," she replied flatly. "You should try it."
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