Am stunned,,,, need time to think
Wednesday, July 03, 2013
You may already know,,, maybe not??? I have neuropathy,,,,, that in itself is very painful (like when ur feet fall asleep as they wake up,,, that needle and pins feeling).
I ve been told as some of you know,,,, that due to this condition,,, I "may" have to have my left foot amputated. This for some reason,,, now that we are looking for an appt with the Dr who does it,,,,,, it's a SLOWING ME DOWN !! I am actually feeling "stunned". Why I have ZERO CLUE, cos I've "kinda" known about this for about a yr.
Its starting to really affect my life, in that I am starting to aknowledge just how much PAIN I am REALLY In from day to day. Yet, that pain hasn't really changed much. Still its a slowing me down. I do NOT feel like doing "real exercise". I am having to FORCE it now,,, instead of it being a JOY that it normally is.
I HOPE they do some therapy around this???? I do know someone who has had this done. I KNOW he'll talk to me honestly and full emotions. That's fortunate for me.
guess I am just starting to realize all this means,,,and starting to FREAK OUT,, and yet the "FINAL" word about this happening,,, has NOT been said yet. I am "just preparing myself" so if he says it,,, I do NOT burst out in tears.
Guess that's normal huh? I suppose. It'll alter of course ALL I do..... I so BADLY Need to stay by my teams (the SUDs and the BLC) and WORK AT IT to MY ability,,, even the chair exercises are hurting me now. What ELSE is there? BED exercises MINUS the feet? Hmmmm to me that's NOT much. Thankfully I start PT on my back late next week,,,,,, but I expect NO REAL help around this,,,,for that Dr wants me UP AND WALKING. LOL NOT gonna happen,,, ,but, I DID tell her 'That's my WISH", and also told her "its IMPOSSIBLE" but, ALL She HEARD was THE WISH,,,and IGGYNORED the IMPOSSIBLE.