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Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

This quote is sometimes attributed to Carrie Fisher and then also, with some variation, to Nelson Mandela. However, preceding these attributions, this has been heard around 12 step meetings for decades. Its a great metaphor as it describes very clearly the apparatus of resentment. Resentment involves replaying a feeling, and the situation leading up to the feeling. Over time, it becomes more entrenched and this self perpetuating process makes *us* emotionally, physically and spiritually ill. But we still expect the other person to die. And we don't want to give up our resentments. We feel we are "entitled", of course.

I figure much of my extra weight is embodied resentment. I ate for years related to resentments -- and also fear, identifiable anger, and sadness. I'm more aware of all of this now and am beginning to get honest and to deconstruct these resentments and to let them go. I decided to write about this today as I became aware of an especially succulent resentment and my attendant disposition that I "deserved" to hold and have this. Whoa. Time for prayer and meditation. Time to remember the anatomy of resentment and whose life is truly affected when we carry them.


Letting these go is the answer. Forgiving. Turning to Love. For me, turning to Jesus.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CHERYLA2012
    I feel so much lighter when I make the choice to let things go instead of carrying them with me. At first I was very fearful of letting things go because I was afraid that it would also mean I would forget what happened. Instead, I discovered that because I chose to let go, the pain diminished because it wasn't being stoked and the memory was still there, but without all the emotion attached to it.

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    1806 days ago
  • KANOE10
    You are wise to vent here and get those feelings out. You are on your road to success by letting go of resentment.

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    1808 days ago
  • LISBETHSALANDER
    So true. Sometimes it is not what you're eating, but what's eating you that you have to figure out before you can heal. Best wishes to you on embracing your own happiness. Resentment is habit that no longer serves you.
    1808 days ago
  • KAYYVAUGHN
    Thanks for the reminder. Yesterday I wasn't on target.
    1809 days ago
  • HONOURIA
    This is an excellent insight. It takes courage to face these. Congratulations on the road you are traveling, and may you have more of these! It can only lead to health!
    1809 days ago
  • JEANNE229
    You are very wise to realize cause and effect.
    1810 days ago
  • UNSWEETMAMA
    I needed this today. Thank you for the reminder.
    1810 days ago
  • MOTHEPRO
    So, so true! Resentment will eat you from the inside out.
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    1810 days ago
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