Learning to Live

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Well, I'm back. I stopped coming to the site about three months ago. My intentions were good but the result was a complete disaster! I was becoming obsessed with logging everything in and whether or not I was getting all nutrients (vitamins, minerals protein etc.). Also I was stressing over where my food came from and how it was raised (had to be organic, grass fed and pastured, non-GMO, wild caught alaskan and so forth). I was so consumed with all of this that I felt it was (no, I know it was) interfering with my relationship with God. It was becoming an idol in my life. So, I decided to "break" my obsession. The results...? I gained back 20 of the 25 pounds I lost, my acid reflux is back and I have developed an irregular heartbeat.
So, I'm back. Gonna try to do this without being so rigid. And most of all, learn to trust God to help me with this; I obviously cannot do it alone. I am the oldest of four children, have always been a loner and a perfectionist. My father was an alcoholic who always told me I was worthless and would never amount to anything (I have forgiven him, unfortunately it wasn't until he passed away nearly 20 years ago). As you can see, I am my own worst enemy!
My goals now? 1) Learn to see myself through God's eyes...I am not worthless.
2) Don't be so rigid with myself...I am NOT perfect, I will slip now and then.
3) Don't be such a loner, join the all are trying to live a
better, healthier life, just like I am.
I'm beginning to see my problem isn't so much food as it is how I view myself. That's where it begins. Thanks for listening, :)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you for sharing. Great blog. God bless.
    1902 days ago
    I understand how you feel. I am a bit compulsive about tracking my food and exercise here too. I feel like if I get away from it, I'll go overboard the other way and eat too much unhealthy food. I don't count all the nutrients like you did, but have kept track of calories and protein since Jan( never missed a day). It is hard to strike the right balance and keep healthy in body as well as emotionally and spiritually. Anything that comes between us and the Lord is sin, so we need to be careful how much we put into the whole health issue. I'll be praying that you can get a healthy balance in your life. Pam
    2063 days ago
    I went through the same thing for the very same reasons and had to come back and this is my third time back because I got so much fatter and lazier wouthout sparkpeople but now Jesus is my focus and following the leading of Holy Spirit who does lead me into all truth and I am finally losing weight and am so happy and satisfied with myself because of my close relationship of love with Jesus and I take morning communion with Him every morning remembering all He did for me and bore for me in His body and spirit and soul and the shedding of His blood so that now I am bought back and free from the curse of the law so why would I want to go back and put myself back under other laws of eating only certain things and tracking them and all of that which led to me becoming an obsessive compulsive about eating.

    Now I am free and led of Love Himself and am getting to know who I am in Jesus and who He is in me and how I have been created to over come every obstacle in this life which includes obesity.

    Obesity is a spirit that comes from the pits of hell and it is led by the spirit of gluttony which is called the spirit of heaviness and we have the power to bind that spirit off of us and cast it into the sea and to lose the spirit of Love Himself because He has freed us from the curse of the law in the name of Jesus.

    Jesus says the keys to the kingdom of heaven are binding and losing in the name of Jesus and what we bind and lose on this earth is bound and loosed in heaven also it is all up to us what we choose to bind and lose over us.

    try it. Bind the spirit of heaviness and obesity off of you and cast it into the sea in the name of Jesus because He has given to us the power and the authority to do this.
    2063 days ago
    The key to seeing yourself in a proper perspective is to see yourself as God sees you. He loves you! It was when we were at our worst that Jesus died for us. He doesn't wait until we are good enough to receive His love. He gives it freely because He is love. There is no way that He can't love us because it is His inherent nature to love. The Bible says that He loved us before we loved Him. Our love for Him is a response to His love for us. He loved you so much that He gave His very own Son to die for you. How much more now will He not freely give you all things? (See Romans 8:31, 32) God is for you! He will enable you to win this battle. Don't give up or cave in or quit. Many years ago I struggled with a very low self-esteem. The way I broke it's hold over me was to get into God's word and high light every scripture that spoke to me about how He loves me and what He thinks about me. I then would read those high lighted scriptures out loud to myself until I came to believe it in my heart. The more I would speak the word over myself the less depressed I felt. Now I know that the devil has a plan for your life; it is to steal, kill and destroy but God has a plan as well and it is to give you abundant life. That comes through a living and vital relationship with Jesus Christ. When you invite Him into your heart to be your Savior and Lord He drives out the darkness and fills your heart with His light. Light dispels the darkness and Satan's lies are shown for what they really are. Don't let the devil tell you that you can't win. With God all things are possible!

    God bless you!
    2063 days ago
    Definitely good goals. You are definitely a worthwhile person! As much as we would LIKE to be perfect, we aren't, so we need to have mercy on ourselves. As for the not being a loner, I had to think that was definitely a problem for me for a while, since I tend to be shy. Yet now I lead several SparkTeams, so no more loner for me! emoticon
    2063 days ago
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