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Simply Doesn't Matter

Sunday, June 30, 2013

You can do almost 1,000 fitness minutes, sweat your butt off and eat as best as you can for an entire month but still, the scale won't say anything you'd like it to say. It simply doesn't matter.

I'm feeling the lowest I've felt in a very long time. I'm discouraged and am extremely sad. If you would have asked me 4 years ago that I'd be here today, I'd laugh at you. I just don't know where I'm going, I'm navigating this life without a map or a guide. Am I even making sense? Just once I'd like to look in that mirror and not think of a part of me that I'd like to change.

Restriction doesn't work for me. I can't do it. I'm not sure of what else I can do in order to get back to my maintenance range. Maybe I wasn't meant to be 185, maybe I'm supposed to be 285 again. All I know is the pain, the frustration and the exhaustion. I work so hard in the gym, in my fitness classes. I sweat like a pig and push my body farther than I've ever pushed it before. What do I get back? A scale that has a 2 in front of it. After all of that work, I get nothing in return. Whatever happened to me? What am I to become? Whatever happened to the fire that was inside of me? Where did that young woman go? How can I find my way to her again? How can I find my way out of the pain?

I'm not looking for pity, just a sounding board.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    What a crazy situation. Hang in there!!
    1786 days ago
    I feel your pain emoticon Im here for you, luv.

    1787 days ago
    slow and steady wins the race! You can do this and the results will show, keep it up. emoticon
    1787 days ago
  • SUGAR0814
    Don't give up! Re-evaluate your food intake. Start weighing and/or measuring your food. Switch up your exercise. Do whatever you have to do to stay away from 285! We both know you don't want to see that number again unless it's the winner numbers to a Pick 3 or something! emoticon emoticon
    1788 days ago
    I will continue to say "All is well"! I'm having a hard time taking off the weight lately. I still exercise, I can't say I always eat in moderation (like I used to do) but I exercise enough that I should at least loose a pound a week. But, not so - I get a little frustrated. I know emoticon cause look how far we have come! You look great and we are going to get to our goal!! emoticon
    1788 days ago
    Miss B, you certainly ARE awesome! Crappy plateaus happen, and they are buggers to break. I pray you will keep on trying and maybe shake things up a bit in your food and fitness routines to see if you can bust through this stagnant phase and make the scale move down again. If you are maintaining right now, good for you, because you're not gaining! I LOVE the new pictures of you with your thinner body and vibrant smile.
    1788 days ago
    Miss B,

    It appears you've come to an obstacle on your road to a healthier you; for whatever reason you're truly struggling. However, you're still putting yourself out there by staying active both at the gym and on here! Don't allow this temporary road block to derail you, instead do some reflecting... look at how far you've come... not where you are right now... try to see yourself through the eyes of the those around you, people like me who read your posts and are inspired by you... don't look at how far you have to go, but how far you've come on your path.... REFLECT! REFLECT!! REFLECT and when you're ready MOVE on... when you are ready to you will get past the obstacle in your path...
    Keep on keeping on!!!!
    1788 days ago
    Listen mama, you are NOT meant to be 285, if you were, you never would have even seen ONEderland! You were meant to live your extraordinary life in a smaller body. You have seem so stressed lately, and stress levels DO NOT help when it comes to losing weight AT ALL! I know it's cliche, but if you're eating well and exercising, it will happen! Have faith and believe in yourself... I DO! I love you girl, and it breaks me heart that you're struggling so much.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1788 days ago
  • BINGO24
    Dear Miss B,

    It is not just about a number on a scale, this is a journey to health. Remember where you started in that regard. Your health was very poor due to excessive weight. You worked very hard to not only successfully lose that unhealthy weight, but even more importantly, you earned good health. What is more important? A number on a scale or your health? Your health is the real gift you are giving to yourself. In that regard, you are very, very successful! emoticon emoticon

    I hope you will not be so hard on yourself and enjoy the gift of good health. Everything else is so much less important, especially that scale.

    Love and emoticon emoticon emoticon Nancy

    1788 days ago
    I totally understand your frustration. I have been struggling with getting back within range also. It's a tough, tough, tough road - but it is worth the effort. You are just having a bad day (or even a bad week). Just know that persistence does pay off in the long run. Please hang in there and don't give up!

    1788 days ago
    We all have our rough days, I know EXACTLY how you feel. Sometimes I just don't care and eat like a ravenous pig because I resolved that I just don't want to work anymore. But you know what? in the end I always regret my decision and I always come back to my main resolution: "I want to get healthy because I deserve it." You deserve health too! Gosh, I was looking at your pictures and you are such an inspiration! You inspire me so much. I am here whimpering because I have to lose 50 pounds. I don't know how I'm going to do it, and in fact when I think about it, I stress and freak and get scared and tell myself I can't... Reading your post and seeing your pictures gave me so much motivation and you have spurred me on to tackling my weight loss journey with force ambition and even joy. You've lost 100 pounds! You did it! It was all YOU! that is something to celebrate! heck I would be telling everyone I knew about my amazing journey. Keep strong. Yes, we all slip up, but you have come a lot farther than most people.

    Also, if you are really having a hard time with this plateau try to eat 1/2 grapefruit with each meal. I'm telling you it's a wonder fruit for plateaus :)

    You can do this!!! I'm such a fan of yours!!!

    Best always,
    1788 days ago
    Dear Miss B:

    I'm sorry you are having a rough patch and feeling so down. It's hard when you feel like you've lost ground. But, look how far you've come! And you most certainly have gotten something in return - a healthier you! You've worked too hard for too long, and accomplished too much to let a little setback like this (and I do believe it is only a little setback) knock you down.

    Remember, it's a new way of life. It takes constant adjustment. But it's worth it. I read your blog post from 6/20 - you should go back and read it too! You are awesome, and deserve to treat yourself with a little love.

    Have a good cry, then dry your eyes, pick yourself up, and start again. You can do it. And we're all here for you, just like you're here for us.

    1788 days ago
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