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Friday, June 28, 2013

I've just been reading back through my blogs for the past year. What a whirlwind year that was. So many changes, so much stress.
I'm happy to say that much of the stress has been relieved. Of course there is still stress, just different ones now. Not the overpowering type of the past year.

So many changes that it's hard to keep up with them. Don't know that I even want to keep up with them. I'm at home and at peace with most of them. I'm sure there will still be more changes over the next year, but at least now I'm not alone in them and will be going in to them with eyes wide open.

Life is settling back on to an even keel and I'm able to think more about my personal health again. I haven't managed to lose any weight to speak of over the past year. It's been down and up and down, well you get the picture.

I know that I have learned a great many lessons over this past year and they will never be forgotten. I know who my real friends are and I appreciate them more than you could know. Many of them are reading this. emoticon
I know what unconditional love is and how much trust means. How hard it is to start over when you've lost it. How hard the work is in regaining it.
It will be a long path, but one I'm willing to work for.

I still don't have a relationship with my children and that still hurts, but I have realized that there is nothing more I can do about it. The ball is in their court. I can say that at least they don't deny me my grandchildren. This I am very grateful for.

Who knew life could be so complicated.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Jacque, so glad that things have settled down a bit after last year. Glad that you are on a more "even keel" now and of course, with that, come lessons learned.

    So sorry to hear about your children, but glad that you do get to see your grandchildren! Family dynamics can be funny things, every one is different.

    Remember that we, your spark friends are always here for you, willing to listen any time and see if we can help! Please take care this year and be safe. emoticon
    2852 days ago
    2854 days ago
    Relationships with family can be stressful because of the love that bonds us. We have to have patience and do the best that we can do and accept what opportunities we may have to share our love with our families. Life can change in the mini second and it is at that time that we hope that our last opportunity with our family was truly the best moment that we could have had with them. We have to travel the high road even when they don't and trust God to do the rest. emoticon emoticon
    2854 days ago
    I am so sorry to hear you have had a rough year. I do know what you mean about your kids. I'm in touch with both of mine now but there was several years when I wasn't with my oldest son. Be patient and hopefully it will happen for you too. In the meantime take care of you and know you have lots of friends that care for you. emoticon
    2855 days ago
    My year was stressful as well, my children do speak to me and I'm happy for that. My daughter went through really hard times and I think her problems caused me a lot of stress which caused me to be hospitalized twice. That is the reason I have started this "lifestyle change" to get healthy.

    Things will calm down and get better for you.

    Thanks for sharing!
    2855 days ago
    It's true life throws us some curves. We all make mistakes and have to learn to live with the results. At least you stepped up and admitted the mistake and are willing to learn from it, some hard lessons. But you have done all you can and now you have to go forward from here. I wish you had a relationship with your kids and I believe they will come back but in the mean time, enjoy spending time with the grand kids when you can. You are loved by many people, including me, so I hope you count me among the family and friends that stood by you during a very difficult year! Things are better now so keep looking up!
    2855 days ago
    Hi there! I had a really stressful year this last year, too...as is evidenced by my weight gain. I was dealing with a husband in the throes of addiction (he is doing better now, thank goodness:)). This, compiled with the stress I deal with at work every day, landed me in the Emergency Room thinking that I was having a heart attack at 30. I did go see the cardiologist and they ruled that out, so I've been trying to make changes to parts of my life so that I don't end up having an early heart attack.

    I, along with you, have learned so much and continue to learn much about myself. I'm glad that you have true friends and that you have unconditional love. Without part of your family, you miss out on that. Even with family, I have a hard time finding that unconditional love.

    Thank you for sharing and I hope that you continue to grow!
    2855 days ago
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