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Prejudice about Overweight

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

I have been "blessed" with the opportunities of being slender during certain times of my life and also being quite overweight during times of my life. I can compare those times and while really being the same person on the inside during all those times, I can say that I was treated differently as an overweight person. I liked myself more while slender and I know many other people did too. One person told me long ago..."Don't ever let yourself get like that again"! It wasn't just men who reacted differently to being overweight vs. being slender either.
Yet, during those years of being overweight, I tortured myself with asking"why don't people like me?"
Of course, we cannot say that everyone is prejudiced about weight but I think the percentage is extremely high. It has been inferred that some of us pack on the pounds because we know deep down that it will keep people away. This can be something unconscious. Why would we want to be lonely? When we keep people away, we do end up lonely. And I'm tired of being lonely! So I push forward with this challenge of wanting to be healthy, happy and .... Not lonely!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Andrea, I haven't talked to you for quite a while and decided to check out your page and see what's new. I think we all can relate to what you're feeling. It's hard for some people to look deeper than the surface, that's really sad for them but it's also hard for the person they're being critical of. I think we've all figured out different ways to cope with insensitive clueless people and those ways are sometimes more successful than others. The bottom line is that, whether we should or not, we care about what others think of us. For me, I tend to avoid contact with people who make me feel less than good about myself. I rely on my Spark friends a lot for the positive feedback I need. I think that's one of the great things about this site, we understand each other and can relate to what other people on this site feel and are going through. You are a beautiful person inside, if someone isn't willing to look inside and find that beauty it's their loss, not yours.
    2786 days ago
    i know that others treat us different when heavier but for myself I have found that its more about me them. When I am happier with me, treating myself with love and kindness I am nicer to others when My first thoughts of the morning are positive and grateful and not negative and self defeating I go into the world with a better outlook and my day is always better. if I am looking for the good compared to looking for the bad my life is truly no different but a thousand time a better place to live
    2798 days ago
    I agree with you about the prejudice. It is sad but true. I hope you stay as happy and as healthy as you can.

    2800 days ago
  • _BABE_
    I get that men have their preferences because it's closely to tied to attraction/sexuality and all that good stuff. To each their own right? But when women dislike a woman as a friend based on weight then I really have to wonder what weight represents to them.

    2801 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/28/2013 1:41:19 PM
  • no profile photo CD8158758
    I totally agree! I have even have had my own family shun me due to being overweight. Maybe it may be me thinking that way to a certain extent. But, believe me when you have your own sisters not want you to go shopping with them or invite you to their parties, etc. it makes me feel that way. And by the way- they are the slim ones! I used to be slim too and I see a difference in the way people act towards me and toward others too. Ask a lot of people here on SP or read their blogs. I think children can be cruel too, when they see fat people go by. Have seen it with my own eyes. As the others said in their comments, there are many prejudices out there, and obesity is one of them. It is sad when people feel that way, but all we can worry about is ourselves and not worry about what they think. It will help us in the long run to being confident, happy, healthy people!! emoticon emoticon
    2801 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8574152
    I hope you hear the applause from where I sit, PSHOWS! It's rather thunderous in support of the views you've expressed here. What someone ELSE ways is none of my business! What *I* weigh certainly is, and that's more than enough for my concern. Now, if someone engages in a harmful activity which threatens my health or life, such as texting while driving or driving drunk, THAT'S another story. Love your thoughts! emoticon
    2801 days ago
    The beauty of the soul outshines the beauty of the body.
    IMHO, shallow people make shallow comments.
    2801 days ago
    If you think it's tough being overweight, what about prejudice against senoir citizens, attractive people, smart people, handicapped people, foreigners, aliens and short people... LOL There are many other ways people are prejudice and obesity is just one. I know that we all have our unconscious and some very conscious feelings about other people. I try very hard to love everyone, but I know that in my unconscious mind there are people I would pick first for something or vote for based on their appearance. I agree that we must avoid being so hyersensitive about it. The older I get the less I care about any of this stuff. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2801 days ago
    well, if we can believe the statistics, and all we have to do is look around us, we are a obese America, so pretty silly throwing stones at ourselves. I am over weight, and try as I do, it is sure hard to get down, anyway, I think we think worse of ourselves way more than other people do, perhaps, someone that cares for us, wants us to be healthier for our own good, but the only time I even look at someone that is very heavy, it is not the weight, it is the way they carry it, carry themselves and when a person wears something way too tight, lets face it, makes them look heavier.
    but in a perfect world, you know, but wouldn't that be boring emoticon
    2801 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5575543
    My you be successful at every turn. emoticon
    2801 days ago
  • no profile photo CD10954048
    I think being overweight absolutely carries certain ideas that are just not true. And even if you are overweight and happy people can look at you like, "how dare her!"

    Just gotta do things for you, and I think you are on the right path to do that
    2801 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7773457
    emoticon emoticon
    2801 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13654686
    I think it's not easy - but in life we really need to learn to be immune to other people's criticisms. It is not fair - because given the time - I'm sure we could produce quite a list of their own faults. Life is not about judging each other - it should be to bask in the glow of friendship, no matter our differences. Everyone brings something wonderful to the table - if we are only willing to see.

    I know that people may say "wow - you are so much better now" or "don't ever get that way again." Yes - there is truth in that, but mostly those comments are superficial. it is not that "you are so much better now" because you can fit into a slinkier dress or it makes you so much prettier. Instead - it is because you are healthier - you can do things that you never did before - you have much more energy - vitality - and love for life.

    People may say "don't ever get that way again" and perhaps they are only seeing the baggy clothes that really don't hide the truth. It is not "don't ever get that way again" because you now look like everyone thinks you should or because you look better in tight fitting pants. Instead - it is because you should never take for granted the good health that comes from eating right and exercise. You should never take for granted the fact that you may have extended your life - and the quality of your life - by making the right directions.

    I'm not one to tolerate superficial words - but that's just me. You have a lot to celebrate - and yes, I am thrilled that when we lose weight we also look great. It's just not the most important thing - and I think a lot of people overlook that.

    So glad you are here - pushing toward your goals - and no, you do not have to do it alone. You CAN be loved the way you are.

    2801 days ago
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