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Feeling sad

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

I finally started planning our wedding. Ordered his ring. Two days ago I am pretty sure I found my dress. Started talking to vendors. So why am I sad? Because neither of my parents are being supportive. They actually acted like they had no idea I was planning a wedding. As a side note to this I have been engaged for 5 years and we knew we wanted a long engagement but it was never "not happening" as they keep saying. I don't understand why someone would want to kill a person they loves happiness. We are 2 consenting adults. I have not and will not ask them for a dime for the wedding. Part of it is because I am divorced but I also don't get why anyone would not want me to be happy. I was so excited when I saw this particular dress and my mom tore me down so quickly. The cost (it is not expensive for Boston at all), the cost of a venue we are talking to which is also quite a deal. Didn't matter what it was she had something negative to say. I have waited a long time to really be happy with someone and I am just sad that my family would choose to be miserable. I have asked nothing of them except support but that is too much to ask.

Thanks for letting me rant. Just needed to get it out instead of eating.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post

    You can't pick your blood relatives, but you can pick your extended "family" - like your Spark family and close friends. We are here supporting you.
    2300 days ago
    Send them an invite and leave them out of the planning. Do what you want to make it special for you and your fiance. I'm glad you found someone so great!
    2314 days ago
    I'm also super late to this blog party! In fact, I haven't spoken to you in ages, girl!

    I'm so sorry your parents aren't being supportive. My new MIL was a little upset that we ran off to the courthouse with just about NO notice, but at least after nearly 9 years she didn't try to tear us down. As someone said on your subsequent blog, some people are just negative, plain and simple. It must be extra hard when it's your own parents, but you are right to just go about your business of enjoying your WELL-DESERVED HAPPINESS!


    2314 days ago
    I am so late to this. I hope you have ordered your dres in the meantime. I'm very happy for you! I hope your parents will come round soon too.
    2328 days ago
    Sorry to hear.
    2354 days ago
    It is your special day Ashley, you are both adults and should do it "your way". Hopefully your Mom will stop the "controlling stuff". I am very happy for you my friend.
    2355 days ago
    Ashley so glad to see you blogging and excited to hear that you are getting closer to your special day! Don't let your parents or any other nay sayers get you down. You know what is best for you and your Fiance. This is your dream, your day and your future!!! If they can't be pleasant then don't involve them with any of the details.
    emoticon ~ K

    PS - Cant wait to hear about your dress!

    2355 days ago
  • ALOFA0509
    emoticon To all the Toxic people out there!!! Surround yourself wth positive people who support U. Soo sorry mom is being a snag emoticon
    2355 days ago
  • DSJB9999
    emoticon to hear that but don't worry about their thoughts. What matters is how you and your darling feel. Good luck to you both.

    emoticon emoticon
    2355 days ago
    (((hugs))) I am so sorry that you have to deal with this. Just know you have so much support here and we will all do our best to help you through. Don't let their misery destroy your joy. You deserve happiness :)
    2355 days ago
    oh love. I am so sorry that they aren't being supportive. I know how much that hurts. You deserve to be happy and you deserve a wonderful wedding. Love and hugs!
    2355 days ago
    oh girl - I totally get it - I know you would love to have their supportive and their encouragement BUT you know how they are and what they have done in the past. Remember that as long as your soon-to-be hubby and you are happy, that's all that matters! I agree with FOXY - do what makes you happy and excited - enjoy this time of planning and your day - DON'T GIVE ANYONE THE POWER TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU!! You are going to be a fabulous Bride!
    2356 days ago
    You said it "they choose to be unhappy"!! Don't let them steal your joy!! Happy exist in you. Don't allow ANYBODY, FAMILY OR NO FAMILY, to pull you into their misery!! I think I told you this before, look into saying affirmations daily!! " I am worthy of positive relations in my life" " I am surrounded by positive and supportive people" "My mind is calm" saying affirmations create a barrier in your mind and heart that helps you repel negativity. You can't change people, but you can change how people AFFECT you!!


    2356 days ago
    Hugs I am sorry that your family is not being supportive
    2356 days ago
  • GINA180847
    Some people just are so selfish. Maybe as it gets closer attitudes will perk up. In the meantime do what YOU both want and let it be. Congratulations, really looking forward to the wedding pictures.
    2356 days ago
    aww I am so sorry your family isn't being supportive at all. That is really difficult. BUT when it is all said and done, you have to remember that this is YOUR marriage with him-- not theirs. If they don't approve or don't like what your plans are for the wedding, then too freaking bad for them. You are an adult who is HAPPY and who deserves to be happy. I agree, leave your family at home for appointments from here on out. You don't need their added negativity to an already stressful situation. Planning a wedding ain't easy! When is the date you guys are looking at?

    Anyway, we are always here to listen! *hugs*
    2356 days ago
  • FOXY13445
    well it absolutely sucks that neither are being supportive but ultimately - it's not for them, its for the 2 of u! GET that dress you are in love with, BOOK that awesome venue w the FABULOUS deal, CHOOSE whatever colors/ theme etc. the 2 of you want because it is YOUR DAY!!! You are just so happening to also CHOOSE to share it with the fam. It's npt their call. It's not their life. Yes, they are family and you can't change that but please DONT let them take away from the excitement of this whole process. My hubby and I also had a long engagement (just over 2 years) and I wouldn't of traded it for the world.

    YOU DO DESERVE HAPPINESS!!! emoticon emoticon
    2356 days ago
    Aww sorry to hear it...try not to let them bring you down - don't give them that power over you. Nice to hear from you again!


    2356 days ago
    I am lucky to have several supportive friends and a supportive fiance.
    2356 days ago
    Take supportive people with you on appts from now on. This time is too precious to wither under emotional vampires...even if they happen to be your folks.
    2356 days ago
  • JANET552
    I'm glad you could get it off your chest! I hope your folks come around. You deserve to be happy!
    2356 days ago
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