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No More.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

So, I have spent all of college caring about my weight, nutrition, and fitness level on and off. I have come to sparkpeople and left it be for months at a time. I have made great strides only to undo them. I am done with the negativity! and self-doubt that is inside of me, and ready to stop giving up! Even now, I hear myself saying "maybe" instead of "DEFINITELY!

I'm not MAYBE going to start taking care of myself. I'm DEFINITELY going to start taking care of myself!!

I find myself, a college graduate in search of a job teaching math. Currently, I'm working as a receptionist, sitting at a desk all day long. I have never been this sedentary and I guess starting this job makes caring about my body all the more urgent! I have to balance out the fact that I am bound to a cubicle all day with what I eat and what I do outside of work.

I am not quite sure how.

In addition, I have never felt very much support and am always shy to admit that I care a lot more about all of this than I let on. In other news, I am getting married. More than just looking good in the white gown, I really want to start off this new chapter of my life with a better healthier lifestyle. One that I can proudly strive to achieve alongside my amazing fiancee.

I want something that sticks; something that not only changes my appearance, but who I am.

I am adventurous. I love people. I am passionate about water sports of all kinds. I want to be able to effectively serve God with my whole life.

Unfortunately, I like control. I like that I can eat whatever I want and I have trouble discriminating between good and bad foods and portions. I like choosing NOT to do the things I should sometimes. I don't like things to be too challenging for me physically. These are the things I most need to overcome. So far, I am two days into tracking my foods. Today is the day I reset my goals for, hopefully, the last time. I have not really connected with a real sense of community here at Sparkpeople, but I think that time is about due. Working alongside people is the best way I have found to learn and grow.

Let it begin.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you so much for your responses and encouragement! I felt like I was tossing a rant out into the wind. But it feels so nice to be heard and related to. I figured at the very least. Putting some positive self-talk out where I could see it would be a step in the right direction. But hearing back from others is so much more uplifting!

    I haven't found a good team that I have felt that way about. But I won't stop looking :)

    1789 days ago
    You can do this! Your up coming wedding will help you with motivation. I found that when I joined the Biggest Loser Lemon team that I had more of a sense of connection to SP. You might want to consider joining a team for additional support. emoticon emoticon
    1791 days ago
    Keep focused for success.
    1791 days ago
    Congratulations on your engagement! Such an exciting time in a girl's life!

    I think it's great that you're not wanting to lose weight just to fit into that white dress, but to start your life well with your hubby.

    If you want to check out a great group that helped me meet some great supportive people on SP, check out.

    Partnership Accountability to the Finish Line: "Here members will experience accountability as they team up with another person to motivate, encourage and challenge on a weekly basis."

    It really has been a Godsend to help me on this journey!

    God bless you and your future life with your husband!
    1791 days ago
    emoticon I have also come and gone from SP more times than I can count, but I came back on May 14 and am still here!!!! It's different this time. I'm exercising (and officially loving it now, for the most part; I still have a love-hate relationship with ST), I'm actually tracking, I'm staying within my calorie range on most days, I'm eating more freggies, etc. I've lost 17 lbs. since then. :) We can do this!

    Also, emoticon on your upcoming wedding!!!! I'm not engaged, but I really want to be fit and healthy before I get to that point, so that I can be fit and healthy when I have children.

    If it helps, don't label any foods as bad! I still treat myself in moderation, and I do not feel guilty about it now like I used to, b/c I've realized ALL foods have a place in a healthy diet.
    1791 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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