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High School Reunions

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Saturday, June 22
I sort of hit a detour this week. I met up with my two best friends from High School, David and Brad. I never was one to hang with the girls. It was so great to see them. Although I had seen Brad last year, and have even lived with David about 10 years ago, the three of us had not been here on the Island since 1995 when I left the Island to travel and perform. We had a great time. I ended up drinking too much and crying a lot. It’s not that I am really sad but I am past the busy chaotic time and now have time to think and process my situation. I really did not expect to have a failed marriage (I admit it is better than a horrible marriage), only be able to see my daughter for half of the year, and be living with my parents at this age. Pretty depressing, but I do realize this is a transitionary phase in my life. It is temporary. I did manage to hang on to the house and keep it together until I was able to go back to school. Now I have graduated, not only with student loans but massive credit card debt as well. One more year to work and pay off bills will put a big chunk in that debt. I still need to hang onto my house for two more years until the lease is up with the renters but after that, I can’t wait to unload it. I do have a safe, well thought out plan to ensure a good future and at the same time Lavinia gets another school year close to her grandparents. The next year when she is with her father, I am free to go wherever there is a classroom. It is a good plan. Of course, if by some miracle, I am able to get a job around here, that would be even better. I know things are looking up and are getting better. It is that point that you can see the finish line, but it still seems so far away that I start to self-sabotage. My mind knows it is crazy but at the time I just can’t see it. It also does not help that this year is my 20th high school reunion. I really don’t have much to show for myself at this point in my life. That can make anyone a bit nuts, I suppose. Anyway, we got together and ate and drank and I really never got back on track all week. I stopped counting my calories, I stopped my workouts except for Zumba. I did not drink my water. I did not even take my pills. It was not a really good week for taking care of me. On the other hand, I helped Dad repair fences, helped Mom in the garden, and started a mini garden of my own and an herb garden. I even planted some Salvia on the edge of Mom's flower garden. As soon as I posted to Facebook, my friends started to comment about the salvia people are smoking and jumping out windows and stuff. It's crazy. I just thought it was pretty. They seem to be doing well though. We’ll see how it goes, I never had a green thumb before and was actually going a bit crazy when I was living with Danny and he suggested adding some plants. I really don’t know why I did not want any kind of plants in the house. I think I was scared I would ruin them. Anyway, I did get over that as I wanted to have a vegetable garden out back. The deck was fixed so that it would not cause a shadow over the whole yard, but I moved out before I had the chance to try it. Now is a great time to start because Mom and Dad know about gardening so I can get their advice whenever I want.

You know you’re 80’s old school when you had little bootie socks with the colored balls on the back. - Completely.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ELSCO55
    1795 days ago
    I notice that you commented that you don't really have much to show for yourself after 20 years out of school. Just a reminder that you have a beautiful daughter and are almost finished with a great education. Don't sell yourself short, you are doing great. emoticon
    1795 days ago
  • FISHER011
    emoticon emoticon
    Hang in there! This too shall pass...
    1796 days ago
    Yes, this is temporary. Things will get better. You're on the right track. Hang in there.
    1797 days ago
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