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One Full year.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

In about 12 hrs it'll be a full year since my ex asked for the divorce. It's a little weird to think about. I feel soo removed from that life. Almost like it happened to someone else. It's funny last night as I was thinking about it, I had tons that I wanted to say... now it's as if the words have left me.

I'm starting to resort back to some old habits. I think it's why I've been so short in my blogs, causing my block, I don't want to admit to them. I've gotten soo hard on myself with this whole weight thing and it seems like the harder I'm coming down on myself the harder it is to get it done. I feel as though I should be working out harder, better, more often. I'm actually feeling guilty in terms of food that I'm eating and it's wreaking havoc on my self esteem. I feel like I'm looking at my 210 body in the mirror instead of 175. I'm soo frustrated and disappointed with myself for it. It becomes that aweful cyclical behavior, you feel bad, but then you feel worse because you know you shouldn't feel that way about yourself. That negative-self talk sneaks up soo easily.

boo.... three steps forward, two steps backward. Still proud of all that I have have over come over the last year.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Old habits do have a way of creeping back upon us, especially if they are those that we have had for most of our lives. Even after trying to replace them with better, healthier habits for an extended period, it is so easy to fall back to those old habits for so many reasons, and of course nearly all of them emotional, at least in my experience.

    But don't despair, because you have come so far, and just the fact that you are so self-aware means that you are not at a point where you will fully revert to those old habits. You're still proud of what you have accomplished, as you should be! You've come such a long way, and you're not going to go back now. Try not to be too hard on yourself, although I know that's easier said than done. This WILL pass!

    1795 days ago
    What you're feeling is normal. Life is all about peaks and valleys so don't worry so much about it. You've come sooooo far in the last year and NOBODY (not even yourself) can take that away!
    1796 days ago
    No worries missy that is fluctuation weight - plus aren't you working with a drill sergeant ?? Could be muscle gain or just plain old feeling creeping up on you as the sometimes do after a Divorce - I am still here for you - just a new schedule - Hugs K emoticon
    1796 days ago
    1796 days ago
    1796 days ago
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