Thursday, June 20, 2013
GAH!!!!!!!! I'm so tired of this; so tired of dieting, binging, exercising only to see the scale 1) not move or 2) move UP instead of down!! I'm sick of it!!! If I didn't have my wedding coming up; if I didn't have to worry about fitting into a dress I stupidly bought 2 years ago; I wouldn't even be worrying about this!!!!!! But no...I bought my dress two years ago (and I love it), when I was 10 lbs lighter and no matter how hard I'm trying, I just can't even lose 5 lbs and keep it off!!!! WTF??????
For weeks, I've been at 145-146 lbs and today, I'm up to 148 lbs - WTF???? happened? I have THREE months to drop at least 10 lbs - 15 lbs would probably be better and I have no idea how that's going to happen. Burn more calories than I intake? I intake about 1200 - 1400 per day and just working out (cardio) for an hour, I burn approximately 600. How the **** does that work out? Obviously, it doesn't. I feel like the only way I can do this is if I work out 2-4 hours daily. Who the **** has 2-4 hours a day to work out????
Just so frustrated and angry at myself. Because yes, I have made mistakes. I KNOW what works, what doesn't and I just can't seem to stop myself from sabotaging myself. WHO DOES THAT??? And I'm realizing, I need to do MORE - more self-control, more tracking, more exercising. What I'm doing isn't working - not for how soon I need to meet my goal. I know meeting my goal (10-15lbs lost in 3 months) is still doable, but I have to do more. Just totally beyond frustrated right now.