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Opening doors...

Thursday, June 20, 2013

As I have reported "My" theatre has worried me lately - I don´t feel happy or energized when I´m there and I have tried to talk about it a couple of times but nothing changes... so I wonder if I shall stay around or leave after this summer... and thinking about leaving makes me sad, partly because I do like the people although I don´t like their way of communicating. And partly because I do like to perform and learn new things...

And yesterday I was reading in the paper about a church in the city that produced a play this spring - I reviewed it for my paper and it was the story about "the lost son" (is it the same in english?) and they had used a local theatre to get help with choreography, costumes, directions... and I am a former church janitor and choir singer that has seen a lot of "churchy" dramatisations I am also very familiar with the theatre company - and the combination was enchanting and turned out very well. Now I read that they wil continue to work with drama and realised that it could be an opportunity for me, they might want to use my talents... wrote them a mail. This does not mean I have given up on the theatre but it means that there are other opportunities if I find that I can´t handle that anymore.

Other thing - doctor called and told me that all my tests were great - blood samples and EKG all showed that I am healthy, he prescribed some medication that is dieuretic and I will have new tests at the end of the summer. I said to him that I have been very clear about my overweight being the cause for most of my health problems and asked why he did not respond to that at all? Did he have anything to say about it? (I had told him that I tried to lose weight all winter with the result of gaining ten kilos...) He started to talk about gastric bypass - I said that with a BMI over 40 I am well merited to have one but as a compulsive overeater I thought it might not be the best cure to take away the result instead of treating the disease... he told me that he would look into the matter, he had not been in our region very long and did not know about our resources.. for the moment I suffer so badly from bth the overweight and my inability to change it, that I am willing to consider a gastric bypass. But I don´t like the idea for me - I have always been very healthy and am scared to mess up the systems that have served me so well if I tamper with my digestion system too much. I am also scared that it won´t help, I know many people who has managed to regain the weight even after a bastric bypass and then they suffer from both malnutrition and overweight... but it is a good thing to talk about it, maybe it will help me towards some solution that might work.

Midsummer is coming up - I was invited to some friends yesterday and it was a nice invitation - this friend has retired and when she did, she sold her house, bought a camper and started to go south during winters. Two years ago she met a widower in Sicily and they drove in caravan back to sweden, sold their campers and bought a bigger one together... They have been in Portugal this winter and have managed to get a job as lock servants in the river system west of VÄnern. With that job comes a cottage that they keep for free all year around and the job is of course only during summer - there is no freight traffic, only leisure boats in that river system and I think the season starts in the beinning of june and ends at the beginning of september.

There is a guest hous I can stay in, doggy is welcome too. Two other friends will go there with their camper and I think it will be nice - five people, three dogs and not that much alcohol (midsummer is a BIG drinking opportuinity in Sweden...) The only thing that bothers me is the cost of gas - I don´t get my wage until tuesday but I will manage I think.
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  • FUNGIRL81005
    "the lost son" We call it "The prodigal son"

    My mother had a lap band done and her eating habits would not change and she was always sick, So it did not work for bindgers....
    2359 days ago
    Have you ever considered asking your doctor for a prescription for the sugar controlling drug called Metformin. Many people say that it cut their cravings and helped them lose weight. Course even then they had to make an effort, but the thing is that the Metformin helped them succeed in their efforts.

    I really wish I could take it, but I'm allergic to it.
    2359 days ago
    The surgery is something I would strongly discourage! I have seen three people close to me go through it. Even those who have seen "good" results have only achieved them by making HUGE sacrifices in their eating habits and/ or lifestyle. The surgery comes with risks up to and including DYING! NO shortcut is worth that type of gamble! Better than surgery,I would think, would be to change the habits and parts of your lifestyle that you are willing to change and to do so without the threat of possibly dying in the attempt.!!

    I understand the compulsive overeating!! I also understand not feeling happy or excited with life in general. The frustration with your work is definitely going to fuel the overeating and it is easy to fall into a viscous cycle.

    However, life seems to be offering you a new page! All you have to do is turn to it. By all means, go to the cottage!! Stock it with all new healthy food choices and work on changing your eating habits in a wonderful new place in the midst of an exciting new adventure. The positivity in your life will make the eating changes MUCH easier!

    I recently read an article by a singer songwriter who was talking about her life and accepting herself in spite of her flaws. She said "Hard wood grows slowly. If you want something to last, it has to develop overtime. An oak may take a long time to grow, but it lives for hundreds of years." Our eating habits and commitment to exercise are like this. You can't wait to be excited by the final victory, but in each and every "small" triumph along the way. Weight loss surgery will not teach you what you need to know to live with it. Only living the life of proper eating and activity will prepare you to live in the new body you will receive. And when all is said and done, the triumph, the victory will be ALL YOURS! No surgery or doctors to share credit with.

    You can do this! Life WILL get better! Until God opens the next door, praise Him in the hallway!!

    2359 days ago
    I strongly DIScourage you from weightloss surgery. After surgery you still need to do the very same thing as youdo now. Eat smaller portions, exercise. Only it brings with it all kinds of long term medical problems. Study this seriously! emoticon
    2359 days ago
    Here in the states, you have to show that you have tried to lose weight and have to show them that you have a true desire to want to lose. Be careful before making such a big decision. Hugs, Pat
    2359 days ago
    One door closes, another one opens. as far as the gastric bypass goes, do some research ,here have been great results but also some not so good, think it over.
    And happy midsummer to you too, and by all means go and see your friends
    it will be fun. emoticon
    2359 days ago
    I like that you see doors opening and are exploring options. There are other theatre groups out there so you don't have to give it up but a change might be good. Wondering if the church play is what we would call "The Prodigal Son"?
    The turning point with weight for me was when my life and my health became a priority; the weight loss was a bonus. I like the 12 step reference already made as I do feel what I learned in Alanon was a big help. Today, no surgery that's not absolutely necessary is an option for me; all surgeries have risks and I'm not willing to take the risk for elective surgery.
    I also have to wonder, if your tests came back great and you are proclaimed healthy why the doctor felt it necessary to prescribe anything; let alone a diuretic?! You are a very intelligent woman; trust your instincts!
    The invitation to the cottage sounds wonderful! You must be a great friend to have such great friends and how lucky these two have found each other! So nice that they want to share their good fortune. By all means, go, have fun!
    Focus on good health and healthy choices Cecilia; the weight will take care of itself, or not. You have a lot of years to look forward to enjoying and your health is EVERYTHING! It's also the greatest gift you can give your daughter and her future.
    Be well, be happy. Hugs.
    2359 days ago
    I very much agree that a gastric bypass (just like a crash diet) is not the answer if the problem is emotional overeating. If it is, maybe learning to accept yourself could be a key (not that I've managed to do that so far, as you probably know).
    However if accepting yourself is key it means you can start practicing right away by accepting the situation you are in and trying to feel and accept the panick and the sadness and upset over the overweight rather than try to 'flee' from it by following drastic diets or having a gastric bypass operation.
    The doctor's reply is typical. Giving a physical answer to a problem that is not physical but mental / emotional. Maybe a therapist, or a class in mindfulness, could work better?
    Sending you much love. And I'm very glad that the test results are all good! You ARE doing things right!
    2359 days ago
  • DEBRA0818
    I think you are so smart to think about gastric by-pass in terms of compulsive overeating. The surgery fools your body into losing weight but it cannot fool the disease which is why a huge percentage of people who have the surgery gain back most or all of their weight (but are stuck with the health issues the surgery generates). I believe there is a solution to compulsive overeating found in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous; I'm finding that following that solution is just as difficult as any diet but I think the rewards are better and my hope is that the obsession of my mind and the drive toward food will be lifted permanently.
    2359 days ago
  • _VALEO_
    Seems like opportunties are just around your local column...

    I understand your doubt about gastric bypass. My cousin had it twice--first time, it was a complete failure: she was not in the right mindset, not well-prepared for it, and nearly lost her life. This time around, she is doing great, she has lost a lot (now needs surgery to remove the extra skin), and she has tamed her compulsive behavior. Do your own research, talk to persons who have had bad or good experience with it.

    Enjoy the guest house!
    2359 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/20/2013 6:08:55 AM
    What a great way to live!
    I'm praying for a job like that when I am fully retired!
    2359 days ago
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