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Toxic Memories

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Like many people I am the adult child of an alcoholic. No one got out of our family without some scars. One of mine relates to being around drinking or drunks . I get mad. If it the drinker happens to be a person that I love, I lose it.
This came to a head a year or so ago when I was to attend an event with a family member and their children. When I got there that person was too hung over to get up. My mind immediately played tapes of when this sort of thing happened to me as a child. I lost it. I said terrible things and stormed out with the kids. I was livid.
Later I realized how inappropriate my behavior was. I realized that this had nothing to do with their behavior (which was their own) but with my reaction to it and my past.
I immediately sought help to deal with this issue. Now I realize that I have the problem and that it is in my hands to provide the solution. It is not for others to change their behavior to fit my code of conduct.
The result of this terrible episode is that I have a much stronger and closer relationship with my family. And I continue to work to keep this issue (drinking) in perspective when it crops up from time to time.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Can relate to all this. The group I went to for healing calls that "emotional allergies", a reaction to a past event triggered by something in the present, usually resulting in an over reaction. Been there, done that, too many times to count.

    It is not easy to break those binds. So glad that you sought help and found it. I was blessed to find healing in counseling and with a group of ladies from my church.

    Best wishes on your health journey--emotionally and physically. :)
    2071 days ago
    Good Luck!
    2071 days ago
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