Saturday, June 15, 2013
Three girls and a guy start talking
(And one of the girls is me)
The guy says that he ran a marathon
A girl says that she loves mudding
The second girl says this weekend is her duathalon
And then there is me....
I say nothing. I reek of fail.
One who tries and never succeeds
No pride in the trying
The only one who knows is me
I sit and dread walking
My knees burn and my arms they ache
Not a pound to show for the pain
And not a word to say
I won't quit and I'll just push through it
(And even if I ran a 5k I wouldn't brag)
To these folks I'm just a nothing
To them I'm just plain me
How can I prove to myself
That I am truly a success
My DNA says that I'll just keep hating
Yes it's my brain that is such a mess
For the record, my knees are wrecked and I'm waiting for them to heal before I continue. Maybe tomorrow or maybe next month. Pilates seem like the only thing that I can do, which just feels pathetic to me. A big part of me wishes that I was back to where I was a couple months ago, not exercising or eating well. The only thing I have to show for my efforts is a lot of pain and a hungry belly.
Yet I won't quit, even if this is truly just an exercise in futility.