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A Life Off "Hold"

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Well, it's been a long time since I wrote on my blog...

This last month went really bad as far as exercise/eating right/weight loss. In fact, I've neared that 200 pound mark again. Haven't gone over it, but hovering VERY near it!

I tried to figure out just WHY I went off the wagon as much as I did. It hit me tonight...I applied for a new job about a month ago and was sure it was the job for me. It was right across the street from where I live instead of 30 minutes away, I'd be working 40 hours a week instead of 35, I'd be making more money and not having to spend so much on gas! It was the perfect job, or so I thought. In the meantime, I basically put everything I was doing on hold until I got the job. I waited, I waited and I waited. Not only did I not get the job, but I didn't even get AN INTERVIEW!! emoticon WHAT?! How could my alma mater not interview ME, their biggest supporter, for a position on campus?!

I prayed and I prayed that God would let me get that job. As the days went on and the waiting got longer, my prayers changed to "God, let me get that job, PLEASE!" to "Okay, God, if that's not the job for me, at least please help me find peace with the job I have!" I'm NOT a fan of the fact that I'm the ONLY one in the office only working 35 hours a week! Ticks me off, in fact! Yes, sleeping in is nice, but I want my 40 hours! And I'm not a fan of my lower paycheck. I was used to city pay for the last 15 years or so where $20 an hour was low! $12 an hour was UNHEARD OF in Kansas City! But, I've had to adjust, first to $12 an hour, then to the switch from 40 hours to 35 hours. I felt the world was against me.

Fast forward a month...I've decided that I do love my job, even though I only work 35 hours a week. I have flexibility, I've got great people to work with and I enjoy what I do. I've found out from several sources that the person I would have been working directly for at my alma mater wasn't even the one in charge of hiring and that the person who WOULD be doing the hiring is very difficult to work for! So, once again, God knows best! Would I have expected anything else?! Nope! emoticon

So, where does that leave me now? A body DESPERATELY in need of the gym, hoop class or SOMETHING to get the pounds moving in the RIGHT direction again! I REFUSE to go over the 200-pound mark again! I have a cute outfit on lay-away at the local boutique. Pants are a size 14 and they FIT when I tried them on at the beginning of May! When I pick them up next week, will they fit?! They're a stretchy fabric, but I don't want to stretch them TOO far!

In other news...

Tony and I are "resetting" our relationship. He was told that for the first year out of rehab, his total focus needs to be on his sobriety, not a serious relationship. That being said, we have spent quite a bit of time together lately, but I know the "score", so to speak. We can still cuddle on the sofa with his 120-pound American Bulldog, but hugs have replaced kisses. I'm not a big drinker and would never drink in front of him, but I don't want to be the reason he relapses, if one happens! I completely understand his need to focus on himself. He hasn't for so long and this was the result.

While he's "healing", I will work on myself as well. Alcohol isn't my addiction, food is. Or should I say, unhealthy food is. I'm getting better about cutting out the fast food, but I still have my moments. Especially Monday nights when I'm rushing to Wichita after work for Sweet Adelines rehearsal. Yes, there are healthier choices than a Whopper at Burger King, but I justify it with "It's just once a week" and "It'll be the last thing I eat tonight." Not good excuses, I know...

It's now Saturday...I'm going to get up, take the 95-year-old inspiration known as my Grandpa to our usual Saturday morning breakfast at the local cafe. I get French Toast and a half order of bacon. He gets an Egg McMuffin-type sandwich. Amazingly, Grandpa goes to the local wellness center 3 DAYS A WEEK! He walks on the treadmill SLOWLY and lifts light weights!! Okay, when a man who is going to be 96-years-old on July 28th works out more than I do, something's VERY wrong!!

So, after breakfast, I'm going to go and pay up for the wellness center again. It's nothing fancy, just some treadmills, ellipticals and bicycles and then a weight room. $20 a month isn't too bad when you actually use it more than once or twice! I still have my hoop class that I haven't been to as much as I need to be. I screwed up my knee during class about a month ago and turned a 2-week Dr-ordered hiatus into a Susan-ordered 4-week hiatus!

Have a Super Saturday, all!!


(Flag Day - June 14th - would have been my Grandparents' 73rd anniversary! Grandma passed away 4 years ago)

emoticon F.R.O.G. (Fully Rely On God!!!)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Good luck!!! Love your resolve!
    1770 days ago
    I know at some point, I decided that Whoppers were too much for me and started getting the Whopper Jr.
    1772 days ago
    1772 days ago
    Hi Susan. I was just browsing through some of the sparkpages and stumbled accross your blog. I loved the way you (with God's) help re framed your work situation. I am also moved by your sensitivity and support to yout partners situation and wow go grandpa!! What an amazing man. You are clearly a woman of great strength.
    1772 days ago
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