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Vulnerability - Brene Brown

Friday, June 14, 2013

¡°Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy¡ªthe experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.¡±
¨D Bren¨¦ Brown

¡°The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. It's our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows.¡±
¨D Bren¨¦ Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

¡°We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.¡±
¨D Bren¨¦ Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

I love her TED Talks two great YouTube links:

This one is on Shame:

This was on Vulnerability:

So my group therapy leader sent the links and quotes to us to read and listen to before our meetings and I loved it. Just what I needed as I have had many of these feelings since my episode on Sunday. I always felt I should have done more, felt guilty because I got to go home, felt shame over what had happened, I always wondered why me and or what did I do to get this. My big self says you didn't deserve it; you didn't do anything and you did ENOUGH to help all of your siblings; you kept yourself and them alive. So this week as I was feeling down I felt like not doing anything, I ate whatever part of me cared the other didn't so then I go into beat up mode and last night I realized something WTF am I punishing myself because when I take away the things I normally love to do aka walking/jogging; cooking; taking care of myself etc. Punishment was a feeling I knew all too well I figured it out as I was being compassionate and filling my young self with kindness and telling her we would do the things that brought us joy because it is okay to feel good that we are not bad that nothing that happened then deserve the punishments we got and to take away that brings us joy gives us the same feeling is just not feasible anymore and told my young self who needed an attitude adjustment that the bottom line is she fears the change we have been working on she hasn't embraced it quite yet that it will work and not be the same of what we experience before but goodness and it is up to me to prove her wrong by persevering or as someone told me earlier this week being the warrior we are.

It may sound strange as I refer to my inner critic as my young self but it is. I find that when I take the time to be compassionate and kind to her because I understand that this stuff is hard and needs it and when the negative comes out I have to let her know it's not cool and we need to keep trying and not be scared. FEAR can debilitate everything we are attempting to do and that is basically what I know is going on right now I know it does work I know things that I have changed have worked so going backwards is unproductive and can't let a little fear keep me from continuing on my journey. I've babbled enough just wanted to get out the fact that I figured out and the light bulb popped up!!

So I am going to a little bit of a reward systems:
279# Smart phone
275# Sign up for 5k
269# Fitbit
259# Drifit outfit
249# new jeans
239# I am enough charm necklace
229# Pedi/mani (halfway to goal)
219# Workclothes
209#: Pretty shoes
199#: Date Night
189#: makeover
179#: Date nite
175#: Trip for reaching goal weight!!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Great rewards! emoticon
    1797 days ago
    I love it. And what great rewards. I adore those TED talks. Saw them last year, and had me in tears. I am constantly amazed by the common threads running through our journey (not the backstory) including how we relate to our 'younger selves' AND how we relate to them.
    Well done on your light bulb moment and I can relate!
    1801 days ago
    Whew what a journey you're on girlfriend. I admire your strength in working through such tough issues. Can't wait to hear about each and every goal...although I also love to hear about the successes you're making that aren't marked by changes on the scale!

    1801 days ago
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