My Excuses and their Definitions - Ever Used These?

Thursday, June 13, 2013

The list of excuses I've used that never seem to help me lose weight -

"I'll start on Monday"
This gives me x number of days since I fell off the wagon (Tuesday afternoon?) during the week to eat whatever I want, because, after all, Monday is the deadline for getting myself back on track. Every week. All the time.

"Once I finish this [insert food name here], I'll start eating right"
Because eating the item in front of me means it's not going to waste. As if junk food isn't ALREADY waste...

"I'm on vacation"
Because being on a different schedule in a different location means the food I eat certainly won't have any effect on me whatsoever...

"It's a celebration!"
My son hit a baseball to the fence, which means ice cream for everyone! I can't possibly skip out on ice cream. And he only has games twice a week. Oh, and he's turning out to be a pretty good slugger...

"A summer picnic!"
Because I have to try a little of everything or else I'll be considered rude.
And because a second plate of everything just shows how much I'm enjoying myself.
And I'd better eat a few more of those [insert name of yummy looking homemade food here] because I may never have them ever ever ever again...

"I worked out today!"
Then by all means, make sure to inhale everything in your kitchen to overcompensate for the 200 extra calories you burned by walking the dog for a longer stretch.

"It's [insert date or name of event here]"
Thanksgiving, Christmas, Election Day, International Talk Like a Pirate Day. I mean, they all call for eating to your heart's content!!!

"I'm lonely"
Although if I actually said that to myself, I'd be able to talk myself out of eating whatever concoction I whip up. But when I feel misunderstood, or lonely, or sad, or whatever it is when I'm not blissful, I reach for the crap food. And I don't stop until it's gone. It would only really be comforting if it was a fuzzy blanket.

"I'm tired and don't give a sh*t. I'll start tomorrow."
My being tired means I reach for quick-energy-spurt food, like cereal or something pantry-ready, overly loaded with carbs. As for the "I'll start tomorrow," please refer back to the first entry, "I'll start on Monday." (It's a vicious cycle, I'm tellin' ya!!!)

"It tastes good."
It can taste good with two or three bites. It doesn't have to continue tasting good through an entire bag or carton but I'm usually up for the challenge. Jim Gaffigan, the comedian, asked, "Have you ever eaten something and you didn't realize how bad it tasted until you've eaten the last bite? You say, 'Aww. That didn't even taste good. Now I need to eat something else to get the taste out of my mouth.'"

"No one will know I ate it"
Maybe not. But you and everyone you know will see the results. And they'll wonder what you've been eating. And because you haven't tracked it, you'll also wonder what you've been eating.

"But I don't get to eat this very often"
When I'm in my right mind I *KNOW* the world will not run out of my favorite ice cream. It's always there. Mashed potatoes are ALWAYS there. So I don't need to make like a squirrel and store them up for the apocalypse.

I think that's about it. My new motto is to be self-aware whenever I eat. This is going to be quite a challenge, and one that I hope doesn't spark my creative energy for conjuring new excuses.

Peace Out,
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LILYPAD12311
    Wow! emoticon Most of what you put in your blog could have come right out of my own mouth!!!!! I have used each and everyone of those excuses.... including,,,, I am fat anyway,,, what is one more piece of cheesecake going to do? (this is the giving up excuse... or may fit right into your "I don't give a sh*t" excuse)

    They say that recognizing the issues helps you address them head on,,,,, I am rooting for you!!! Kick those excuses to the curb and I am right there with you girl! emoticon
    2103 days ago
  • STHOMAS1009
    I'm bookmarking this blog ... emoticon
    2105 days ago
  • 68ANNE
    I recognize most of these as one that came out of my mouth
    2106 days ago
  • SARIC3
    Great Blog. Hit the nail on many heads. Mine is the "But I don't get to eat this very often"

    Actually I'm doing much better because not matter what excuse I give myself I still feel like crap later.

    2106 days ago
    but, but...days that end in 'Y' are special occasions!

    2106 days ago
    I've definitely used some or all of those excuses at different times. I've decided that the only one that is legit is the special occasion one...though I've had to change the meaning and be VERY clear about what is or is not a special occasion.

    I have three weddings this summer. Those are my only special occasions this summer.

    Christmas and Thanksgiving are also special occasions, but all that means is that, for one meal, I can serve myself what I want and eat until I am full. That is all.

    Aside from that, I am playing it by ear. But special occasions are not

    WOOHOO!!! It's a rainy Thursday!!!!

    Or YAY! I remembered to pay the cable bill on time!
    2106 days ago
    I think I've used everyone of those excuses. So tough to break those habits we form too.

    Good for you at starting to become aware of this. That is the first step! Second it to change the habits, one at a time until they are no longer a part of your life!

    Get ready, get set, go! emoticon
    2106 days ago
  • TIG123GER
    Hate to say it but have used a lot of these throughout my lifetime! Looks pretty bad when laid out so plainly. Thanks for the reminder that we can really be our own worst enemies. Here's to conquering the bad inner voice!!
    2106 days ago
  • no profile photo LYNNA7499
    LOVE THIS!!!! I've used most of these excuses myself. I have to say I laughed out loud at International Talk Like a Pirate Day and "make like a squirrel and store up for the apocalypse" emoticon

    Thanks for sharing this!
    2106 days ago
    I used to use the Monday one all the time!!! ALL the time! It inevitably led to me eating way worse for the rest of the week until that Monday, when I would start and last a day or two. I have used a few others... but not that many, for me, it was just the "monday" that never came. Until it started on a Thursday. And then it took.
    2106 days ago
    lol... i have used several of these !!!!
    2106 days ago
    Lol! I always laugh when I hear "I'll start Monday" or "tomorrow, I'm starting tomorrow"!

    6 weeks ago I said "I'll start tomorrow" but then I said "why wait!?!" And started!

    Thanks for the laugh!
    2106 days ago
    Ouch, I have to say.....I've used all these at one time.
    2106 days ago
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