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my plan for the family wedding and jokes

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

My coach is a big believer in planning goes here my plan for the family wedding
1 makes sure I have my body by vi shake
2 tried to get water in on Friday and Sunday evening since drinking water during the day is not going to be very possible since I will be in a van that won’t be stopping must for potty break
3 tried to avoid red meat as much as possible
4 the mother of the groom and my sis are vegan so watch what they eat and copy especially at the baroque
5 remember my portion
6 I am having one piece of cake and two alcohols drink probably wine or champagne mix with ginger ale at the wedding
7 I am having one alcohol drink at the baroque probably wine mix with ginger ale
8 dancing the wedding will be good exercise if I can do it if not enjoy the wedding
9 use the hotel swimming pool and fitness room
10 if it a buffet watch the whole table before I decide what to eat
11 whenever the van stop get out and exercise

The Bride & Groom
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:
"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out."
He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said:
"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I thought we had a deal."
The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."

Excited about marriage

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob
suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
'Are you the owner?' The pharmacist answers yes.
Says Jacob: 'We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?'
Pharmacist: 'Of course we do.'
Jacob: 'How about medicine for circulation?'
Pharmacist: 'All kinds.'
Jacob: 'Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? '
Pharmacist: 'Definitely.'
Jacob: 'How about Viagra?'
Pharmacist: 'Of course.'
Jacob: 'Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?'
Pharmacist: 'Yes, a large variety. The works.'
Jacob: 'What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?'
Pharmacist: 'Absolutely.'
Jacob: 'You sell wheelchairs and walkers?'
Pharmacist: 'All speeds and sizes.'
Jacob says to the pharmacist: 'We'd like to register here for our wedding gifts, please.'

Advice to the Newly Married Couple

At my granddaughter's wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married longest. It turned out to be my husband and I. The DJ asked us, "What advice would you give to the newly-married couple?"

I said, "The three most important words in a marriage are, 'You're probably right.'"

Everyone then looked at my husband. He said, "She's probably right."
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