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Tuesday, June 11, 2013

hi everyone..

been a month and 6 days since ive been here..

only thing i can say to you all, is the truth.. i havent 100% fell off the wagon, but been eating things i shouldnt and not walking as much as i was and not recording my food intake.. i have been walking "some", and not totally eating badly, but a lot of it was not healthy..

and honestly, i got tired of logging in to record my every meal, even though i should have kept at it.. and i knew better than to just think i could handle it on my own.. silly me emoticon once i got tired of recording, i quickly lost interest in logging into SP.. knowing full well i was most likely going to get off track.. but ohhh the food was delightful tasting.. so satisfying.. but only for a short time, then i was back to the pattern of guilt and feeling like crap for eating something i shouldnt have, and for quitting SP..

so round and round we went, my food addiction and i.. it rose up from the darkness and knocked me down before i knew what was happening.. just waiting for me to get a weak moment and it struck with a vengeance.. it has kept me prisoner for the past 36 days..

for a few days now ive been wanting to log in and write a blog.. then, my addiction would talk me out of it.. but tonight, i didnt let it win.. i dreadfully came to the computer and logged in.. the whole time it was doing everything it could to get me to not do it.. to go eat something instead, that it would make me feel better than writing this blog.. i fought back and told it to take the next train back to hell..

so, im here.. ashamed, sad, and angry at myself.. but at the same time, im so very happy i won tonights battle.. one day at a time i suppose..

is there anyone out there that has experienced this on your weight loss journey? if so, how did you get past it? i will be going back to recording my food intake starting with my next meal.. i now know that part is crucial to my success.. no matter how tired i am, no matter how bad i dont want to log on, i will do it anyway.. i know when i do, i will feel so much better to be back on track and getting healthy! no more laziness for me.. i have to learn to take the hard stuff as well as the sweet stuff.. i have to work hard at this to get to the sweet victories that i have had during this journey..

ive had a set back.. im still ok.. i was able to break loose from the darkness.. i could have done a lot worse and even gave up like ive done 100 times before.. but not this time.. ive came wayyy tooo farrr (minus almost 100 lbs) to quit or sabotage another moment that is keeping me from my new life! thank you, SP friends, for checking in on me while i was gone off acting like a fool *laughs*

woohoo! im back! xoxo

much love and hugs to all~
`Shari xoxo

© 2014 I Can See My Toes: A Life Reborn. All rights reserved.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Okay...the first step is to admit you are powerless!'s time to do something about it. I have been in your position many times...I'm a serial yo-yo dieter. It's up to you now...How bad do you want this?? Logging your food intake is a excuses. Concentrate on baby steps, small changes at first. It's too overwhelming to look at a 100+lb weight loss goal all at once. Set a small goal...15 minutes exercise everyday and logging food....maybe 10 lbs lost in 2 months. you must be focused and not let anything get in your way...not even yourself. Most times...we are our own worst enemy!

    You can do it....I know you can!! " A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" you are on the way!!

    hugs Hugs hugs ( I am adding you as a friend) Let me know if I can help in anyway)

    1773 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/12/2013 6:51:41 PM
  • GOLD11042
    Everyone has said such great things. So I'll just keep it simple. Welcome back.. You are sounding great.
    1774 days ago
    Shari ,

    First off Addiction is awful .. being free of it AWESOME !! YOU can do it .. one day , one step at a time..

    How brave you are to put it all out there.. 100 pound gone.. is some serious work against addiction.. You are back , you didn't let it win and that is what is important..

    "so, i'm here.. ashamed, sad, and angry at myself.. but at the same time, i'm so very happy i won tonight's battle.. one day at a time i suppose.. "

    You did win.. please don't be mad , ashamed or sad.. you are human and all of us .. I MEAN EVERYONE .. has moments or days.. but you are back and Forgiving can be freeing also..

    I WISH YOU FREEDOM from the chains of your addiction.
    1774 days ago
    OMG .... I am SOOOO proud of you !!!! It happens to most all of us and if we are bound and determined and committed to making changes to live healthy we make the right decision and get back on track. Sometimes falling off makes us realize the importance and need to get back on track. We know it's best but life get's in the way sometimes and if you look at learning to live healthy you do just that ...LEARN to live healthy and we keep learning everyday and again sometimes we hit those bumps in life that just throw us off track but as long as we get up and get going again we will not sink !!!

    So welcome back my friend now keep in touch and so will I !!!!

    BIG HUGS !!!!
    1775 days ago
    congratulations, you're a brave lady! you know what they say here on spark, fall seven times, get up eight.

    yo-yo- ing is no joke. we just love pleasure. so you have to find that balance where you are creating a deficit, burning more calories than you take in, without getting withdrawal symptoms.
    i'm getting so frustrated with dieting for six weeks, only to put everything back on in six minutes. so i'm going to try losing just two pounds a month, for one year. 24 lbs down is better than 10 up. if it can sneak on without being felt, it can also sneak off without being felt.

    1775 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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