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Sunday, faith restored

Sunday, June 09, 2013

"Summer afternoon - Summer afternoon... the two most beautiful words in the English language."

Henry James

Regular readers (poor souls) will know that I recently sold off 2/3 of my farmland. Yes, it was absolutely necessary financially, but also the right thing to do for any number of reasons. For one thing, I'm no longer alone on Jackass Hill (yep, that really is the name) - I have a lovely Amish family living near me, and they've brought cows and draft horses and the sound of children's laughter to the farm. (And unfortunately, homemade doughnuts...)

All that, though, doesn't necessarily make it easier for me to give up the land my late husband and I bought almost 20 years ago. We walked dogs, raised kids, and generally loved every foot of the property, and now when I walk with one dog I hear and see those happy ghosts, but I'm not yet to the point where those memories will make me happy. I know I'll get there, but when you live in the country, I think you become more deeply attuned to the wheel of the seasons, and I think every season I'll have to acknowledge the change in how I'm living now. I'm actually pretty happy now, yes, but that doesn't mean that part of me isn't still sad, I've discovered.

So this afternoon, the first afternoon that is really "summer" and not "spring" to my senses, Lucy the Dog and I were walking at the top of the hill, figuring out where to lay the new property line. I was thinking about the part of the property over the other hill and through the woods that I'll miss.

God/dess, The Universe, whatever you choose (I don't have a preference) had other plans, apparently. There was a fallen tree that we couldn't get over, so we were forced to walk uphill more into a wetter, more overgrown area than I normally walk. Because it was mucky and overgrown, we followed a deer trail through the wood's edge, and eventually it led us back out to the very top of the big hill.

It was a beautiful walk, with some very magical spots, through an area largely unexplored, and it showed me both literally and allegorically that there is much yet to be discovered; to turn my attention from what lay behind to what new beauty and excitement lie ahead.

(Apparently it is also suggested that I wear boots.)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Lovely blog, so touching.... emoticon
    1829 days ago
    I think we (well most of us) do walk around in a semi-wounded manner. We all seem to carry a little sadness that we have buried down deep in our souls. Maybe that is what makes us the hopeful ever looking upward for a glimmer of light species that we are!

    Walking over the land and being introduced to a place that was new and evocative is reminding you that there is still much of life to take in and explore. Where ever you are will be just fine...because you always have you...and that's more than enough!

    You always make me smile my friend...and think...sometimes more than I had planned's a tough business this smiling and thinking all in one blog! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1830 days ago
    I just love your blogs. LOL There is so much of this life that is so sad, and poignant. I'm not sure why that is, but I suspect we are supposed to grow from it in some way or another, because basically, we have no choice BUT to, really. The alternative is only to wallow in bitterness and sorrow, which would be a discredit to those we are missing, I guess, and completely counterproductive to our own growth. But it sure ain't easy, this 'growing' stuff......
    1834 days ago
  • SUNNY332
    So much peace and serenity.

    Thanks for a lovely post and thank you for stopping by my blog with your encouraging and supportive words.

    Hugs, Sunny

    1834 days ago
    I had a moment of magic late this winter when I ventured out alone on snowshoes onto the lake to places where I wouldn't otherwise ever go at any other time of the year. The winter, ice and snowshoes made that happen.
    I'm glad you've discovered some magical places and that you wore the right footwear too! Now that is truly magical.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1835 days ago
    I love how serene and peaceful you sound in this blog!! Of course, you will always have a bit of sadness over "what was". Probably most of us do---but, oh, you've come a loooong way!! You have many adventures ahead of you!!! And, how delightful to hear children and a family nearby "just in case". Doughnuts are never a bad thing either!!!!
    1835 days ago
  • CDCSMITH2013
    Lovely blog. emoticon
    1835 days ago
    Living in the country is truly idyllic in many ways, I agree.
    1835 days ago
    Thank you so much for the touching Blog. It really made me understand just a little about you. You are so special my friend. HUGS and much love Pat in Maine.
    Scooter you are doing great, emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1835 days ago
    I can relate to your love of the land. My husband and I have toiled many hours to make this our own and we don't have a lot of land like you. We have also explored every part of our land and we know where the gooseberries are and the morels and the ferns and the jack in the pulpits. Where the woodpeckers live and the squirrels. Where the creek bubbles. Where the deer hide. I don't look forward to leaving here and if I have to I know I will feel just as you do now. Tractor Supply sells really nice boots.
    1835 days ago
    Your evocative words have conjured images of life, love, and nature's mysteries. Thank you.
    1836 days ago
    You're blessed. Thanks for sharing that with us.
    1836 days ago
    A sentimental stroll along the hill, moving memories, and a turn toward tomorrow.
    A lovely blog.
    1836 days ago
    This blog made me sigh.. *sigh*... beautifully written... full of emotions that I can identify with... and then left me with a smile and a snort at the end.. yeah, wear boots!

    You're so cool.
    1836 days ago
    sounds great...nature has a way of healing us
    1836 days ago
    Very touching.
    1836 days ago
    Your awareness was turned to something new and beautiful!
    1836 days ago
    Your prose gift illumined my Sunday!
    1836 days ago
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