Ready. Set. Go!
Saturday, June 08, 2013
6/8/2013 - Brandiann
It’s Saturday night and both kiddos are in bed, sound asleep. Most of me wants to cuddle up with my body pillow under the covers right now, but I feel like I need to write about my weight/body. I’m almost 30. I am the youngest of all of my friends, so I have gotten to enjoy this year being 29, while everyone else has been turning 30. And tonight it hit me... I spent my entire 20’s over 200. It kinda makes me want to puke. Right now I am at 248, which is half way between my highest and lowest weights within the last 10 years. I have weighed between 200 and 299. What??? I can’t even believe that is true. Once again, kinda wanna puke.
I really want to weigh 180. That’s it. I don’t want to weigh 120 or even 150. I will be happy and healthy at 180. So what am I doing about it, you say? Well, apparently nothing right now. I have a 2 month old and a 2 year old... and things have been a little hairy to say the least. Thankfully, I only gained 14 pounds during my pregnancy, otherwise I would be much worse off. Right now, at 248, I am 6 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight, and 12 pounds over my lowest weight during pregnancy.
Finding time to work out has been nearly impossible. My stupid OCD has been in overdrive since I am at home. All I want to do is clean and organize everything. All. The. Time. It’s quite frustrating and as you may know about OCD, it affects my mood. Maybe this is something I should talk to my counselor about...
Anyway, I’m one of those people who has to be really in the groove to lose weight. I’m always either gaining or losing, never having been able to really maintain my weight. Recently, I’ve been slowly gaining. I did weigh 243 shortly after Zoie was born, so I have gained 5 pounds in 2 months. Not the direction I want to be going in. I need to find my groove! I need to make up my mind that I am losing weight and just do it.
What’s stopping me? 1) breastfeeding - I don’t make enough milk for Zoie as it is, and I’m worried that the calorie restriction/exercise will reduce my supply even more. 2) I’m afraid to exercise. I have a stupid prolapse and I’m afraid of making it worse. 3) I am tired and have no time.
Why these things should not stop me 1) breastfeeding - You don’t make enough milk as it is, and if you lose weight, you may potentially increase your milk supply by evening out the hormones. Also, in the scheme of life, being a healthy weight has a bigger impact on Zoie than the amount of milk I make. 2) What’s worse than a prolapse is chronic disease. Get over it. You must still exercise. Let’s shoot for 3 times a week on the treadmill/total gym. 3) You know very well that exercise gives you more energy in the short and long term. The total gym is amazing and only requires a few minutes a day. Start with 8 minutes, and add 2 minutes each time.
So in order for me to start something officially, I have to make goals. And get excited about those goals.
Starting weight 250
Current weight 248
Goal 6/9-6/15 - 246
Goal 6/16-6/22 - 244
Goal 6/23-6/29 - 242
Goal 6/30-7/6 - 240
Goal 7/7-7/13 - 238
Goal 7/14-7/20 - 236
Goal 7/20-7/27 - 234 - SIZE 16!!!
7/29-8/6 - 232
8/7-8/13 - 230
8/14-8/20 - 228
8/21-8/27 - 226
8/28-9/3 - 224
9/4-9/10 - 222
9/11-9/17 - 220
Goal by 9/14 - 218 - Lose 30 pounds for my birthday and be the weight I was the day I got married in 2002. That sounds like a good goal. :D Ready. Set. Go!