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Why do we recognize ridiculous expectations in others but not ourselves?

Thursday, June 06, 2013

I am an HGTV addict. Like much of America, I love shows like House Hunters, or Love It Or List It. On House Hunters we see people saying: "I want a big house with a big gourmet kitchen, hardwood floors throughout, 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms, a grand entry, high end finishes. On a large fenced lot where I can't see any neighbors. Walking distance to shops. For $200,000." If they see a house "at the top of my budget" it SHOULD have all those things because they want them, and they are angry. And we laugh.

Or on Love It Or List It: "I will give Hilary $50,000 to add two bedrooms and a bath without making any of the other rooms smaller. AND pay for asbestos remediation and termite damage and the leaking basement wall." We watch the homeowners furious that she can't take that tiny budget and rebuild their home because it's all the money they have so "if she's as good as she says she is, she'll do it because that's what I want." And we laugh.

Then we wonder why if we cave at McDonald's, or hit the buffet or Dunkin Donuts, that we don't lose the weight because "I want it!" And we are angry because "It doesn't work". The desire should be enough because that desire is so strong.

You can't have something because you think you SHOULD have it. Reality is that you can't have a million dollar house for $200,000. You can't have a house rebuilt for $50,000. And you can't eat like you used to and lose weight.

But people finally accept (happily or angrily) their financial constraints because the world won't let them do otherwise. There is no world to force us into realizing that donuts don't lead to weight loss. It isn't funny when it's us, but we can still accept and do it.

Once you've gotten to goal, you can look BACK and chuckle!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Love Love Love this blog. We live this every day.
    DH is a Home Improvement Contractor...when he goes on appts.
    folks often think they can do a kitchen do-over for $10k or a
    bath for 5k then they show a picture of a $60k kitchen or $20k
    bath. REALITY FOLKS~~~~~:)
    1836 days ago
    Great blog, and so true! I love HGTV. Have you ever noticed that in Europe there is a whole different standard for kitchen size? In American they want a kitchen big enough to roller skate in, and in Paris they look at a tiny space and say "nice sized kitchen".
    1839 days ago
    It's all about being mindful and taking responsibility.
    1840 days ago
    Definite food for thought and action. Thanks for sharing!
    1840 days ago
    Fortunately - or unfortuneately it is not all true - in my experience there are two possibilities - one is the logical where action has consequences and you can pretty much predict what is going to happen - butin the other dimension ridiculous things does happen - yo get much more than your moneys worth - OR the opposite, you do lose a lot more weight than you should if you count the calories - or the opposite! It´s like the wild card in the game and it sort of spices things up.

    That said you can´t really relay or fear that wild card too much, you have to get on and deal with the logical part because that is the part you can affect.
    1841 days ago
    I agree.

    My mother used to say to me, "If wishes were horses, then beggars would be riders."

    It is not enough to wish for or want something.
    There has to be the means to make it happen.

    Here on SP, it is only our own actions that will fulfill our wishes.
    1842 days ago
  • JEANNE229
    My wise, wise friend!
    1842 days ago
    Maybe the desire for those big things is easy because it's fantasy, for many of us. I think for many of us, the desire for a lighter, healthier body, is just not in the same realm so it's not a strong enough desire to start with. We know how to do fantasy but we don't know how to do reality--in this area.
    To achieve what you and others have achieved, Nell, we need that totally realistic, feet-on-the-ground desire.
    Whining, complaining, poor-me-ing, dishonesty and resentment just won't cut it.
    But you know what? I, and I bet many others, have made progress. We'll not go back to our original negative mind-set and negative self-talk. Maybe we're only down 10 pounds but we're in a different space and in this space we can make better decisions. It's not all bad!
    Thanks for another great blog!!!
    1842 days ago
    Another well done blog! emoticon
    1842 days ago
  • GABY1948
    I love this blog! SO True...I have been an HGTV addict right with you since I first found it back in 1998 I it, and the people on it have changed! Love it or List is is my FAV and the Brothers (Drew and Jonathan). You really got me though about the McD's...I don't ever eat fast food but the rest of your analogy hit me dead square between the eyes! Thanks for a great blog! emoticon
    1842 days ago
    I love your analogies; they really drive your point home. As for looking back, I still feel too close to my past poor choices to chuckle just yet, but I hope to in a few years.
    1842 days ago
  • KANOE10
    Very true.. I liked the blog. Made me think about unreasonable expectations and outcomes.

    1842 days ago
    thanks love, i fancy a emoticon lol.
    1842 days ago
    So true, We are hard in ourselves , i am trying to appreciate what I have achieved not what is yet to come! Ree
    1842 days ago
    Very good point! Unreasonable expectations are unreasonable, despite our desires.
    1843 days ago
    1843 days ago
    So True.
    1843 days ago
    So true: and to link the analogy further, I often say that I can afford the (whatever, doughnut etc.) but I can't afford the calories . . .
    1843 days ago
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