My Whole WTF Day... Ugh, Just Ugh.

Friday, May 31, 2013

First off, I will advise you that this blog is long, and entirely unrelated to weight loss. I just had things to get off my chest, and I have come to care deeply for your advice, so I just laid it all out...

As most of you already know, I've been feeling pretty darn stressed out lately. A lot more than usual. Not only am I stressed, but I seem to be having a really hard time managing it... Today was honestly the drop that overflowed the glass.

Where should I start? I guess I'll start in order of how the doodoo hit the fan.

First, I was supposed to borrow my dad's car to go run errands all day today. Last night he stated to text him at 7 am to make sure he was awake, as we always do. I did just that, but no answer... That usually means he's not awake yet. So I kept texting, then he just texted back that he would text me later... I just send a text to ask if he still wanted us to be ready for 8, and he proceeded to send me a quite nasty text about not letting him sleep and he would text me when he would want me to get ready... That is exactly what tipped the glass... Tears just started rolling down my face beyond my control... I couldn't stop! It was such a lame text that usually would have been fine, but this morning it just set me off!!! I cried for 2 hours straight... How ridiculous!!! My boyfriend decided to call his mother to see if she could give us a ride, and she then started bitching him as well, saying how we always need to be doing errands. Well, I have 3 kids what do you expect?!?! After he hung up with her (and not on the best of notes), there just seemed to be a lot of tension in the air, which made me cry even more...

Around 9 my dad texted me back asking if I still wanted to use the car and if I was ready. I simply said "if u want to". He then apologized saying how he was sick all night, which I understand (my dad was battling cancer and is now in remission, but he is still quite sick)... Then that was ok, so we headed out to run our errands...

Around lunchtime, we found out that our neighbor (and good friend) had gotten in a car accident and was transferred to the "big city hospital" (that is better equipped for trauma) with severe internal bleeding in the belly area and that they honestly don't know if he is going to make it... My heart sank. He is only 25!!!! PLUS, him and his girlfriend were at our apartment last night before they went out. That just turns my stomach inside out.

All of this on top of the stress with my son who is being bullied at school and had to go see a psychologist this week, I just don't have any room for more upset in my life right now!!!!!!!! I honestly don't know which way to turn, my boyfriend is in the middle of it with me, and he's always the one I turn to for comfort, but he is stressed out as well and doesn't quite know how to handle it all, so question becomes "What's next?!?"

Honestly, I better start seeing some good things come out soon... I'm glad my children are all healthy and happy. I understand how that is important as well, especially when trying to find the good in my life so I can stay grounded in the middle of the chaos, but HOLY MOLY I AM FREAKING OUT!!!!

I've even had to take sleeping aid pills this week because I couldn't sleep and would wake 7-8 times a night... That is bad. Stress level right now is to the MAX.

I'm sorry, I know I don't usually write blogs like this, but my goodness this had to come out somewhere. I am trying to remain really strong, but I feel the shell cracking at the seams and I just don't know how long I can hold it together... Venting allows me to take a small breath of fresh air...

I am hoping June will bring some good news and that I will finally be able to take a deep breath...

Thank you all to those of you who chose to read this through :)

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    2896 days ago
    2897 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13245384
    hugs...sending good vibes your way =)
    2897 days ago
    I'm really sorry you had a cruddy day! *hugs*
    2899 days ago
    You know I would read this and I truly wish I could reach out and do something to help you. Maybe it will help you to know that I was thinking of writing a blog today about how bad my past couple of days have been, but then I read your blog and then I heard that Moore, OK is being hit by tornadoes again and then I heard about 4 firefighters just died in TX trying to save other people. My point is it is all relative. Stuff happens, life happens, sometimes its very small things that just set us off and then there are other things that cut us deep through to our heart, but we accept that that is what God has dealt us and try to accept that it is all for a reason and that in the end, it will make us stronger. I find when I write blogs like that I feel better just for having written it and then when it is over I try to look deep inside and see all the good that is in my life and try to focus on that. You have your boyfriend who sounds like a true blessing and you have your children. I will pray for your friend who was in the accident. It is times like these when we just have to hold onto what makes us strong, have faith and pray for a better tomorrow. emoticon emoticon
    2900 days ago
    I'm sorry all this is happening at once. I hope things get better for you soon.
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    2900 days ago
  • DALID414
    2900 days ago
  • PURPLE180
    Wishing you a better tomorrow, hugs. :-)
    2900 days ago
    Brigitte--I don't know you but....hang in there. Yes--sometimes it feels like everything is wrong--but things will come back. You have made a list of all these "bad" things--so later you can look back and see how everything came out okay. I don't know your religious background but--give it to God. He will watch over you--pull you through this. Just take one step at a time, one day at a time and things will be okay.
    2900 days ago
  • DARLA71
    Sounds like your plate is full! Hope tomorrow is better for you.
    2900 days ago
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