overdue accounting for
Friday, May 31, 2013
OK, so I am finally ready to spill the beans about Memorial Day weekend.
I was bad. So bad. And I didn't care...well, that's not true. I did care, but not enough to beat myself up.
I had such good intentions heading into the weekend. Before I left for Atlanta, I scoped out the nearest YMCA to my friends' house. If you are a member locally, you can usually go to other locations not in your state and they will honor your membership. I called the Atlanta location up to verify this and to ask about their procedures. I found out when their Zumba classes were and plugged into my iphone the day/times of classes and the address of the Y. Did I go? No. It just didn't work out with my hosts' schedule one day but also, I didn't make it happen and I could have, if I was really really serious. So no exercise from Saturday-Tuesday.
How did I eat? Horribly. Food addiction is really very much like any other addiction. I recognized it in myself. I ate cupcake after cupcake and acknowledged as it was happening what I was doing. It was not out of my control to abstain. I consciously made the choice to eat more and more. I felt heavy and guilty afterwards but that didn't really change anything. I was involved in a system that I could not influence but instead of taking myself out of the system, I became part of it. These friends don't think about eating healthier or being more active. They quote reasons why they don't. While they are supportive of my efforts, they really don't care about them and don't want to integrate those habits into their own life. In fact, the sedentary overeating lifestyle is what they want and like and that is their every right. To talk more about myself and my newer habits become possibly offensive and seemingly judgmental and condescending. Instead of beating the system, I joined it. I enjoyed myself, but also found myself repeatedly thinking "I cannot live like this" and "I could not live this lifestyle again" and, most importantly, "I cannot wait to get back to my routine." So Saturday-Monday...over my calorie range every day. I tracked what I could and imagined the worst for the rest.
So what did I do when I got back? Wednesday and yesterday I ate under my calorie range...kept it at about 1000/day and got immediately back into the workouts. More than eating well, exercise is KEY for me. When I exercise, I automatically start eating better so I don't sabotage my efforts. I weighed in today and have lost 1 pound. I consider myself very very lucky and half expect I won't have a loss next week as repercussion for all the calories I ate. Maybe it won't happen, but maybe it will and if so, that's just what happens. Moving on and up and no use complaining about something I chose to do.
Yesterday was the best though. The hike. LOVED it. Hiking is something I used to really enjoy but over the years it had increasingly become something painful and unenjoyable because I'd fallen out of shape. I went with my manfriend and we kept a decent pace the entire time, with me leading half of the time. I asked him how he felt I did since he was with me the last time I hiked the same trail. He said I kept a brisker pace for longer and without as many breaks but, most noteable to him, I was far less irritable and grumpy about it. He said before, when I would get physically challenged, I would get really grouchy. He said I hadn't gotten grouchy at all but just rolled with the punches. If anything, I got quiet and that was it. In retrospect, I realize that during the multiple uphill stretches, I never got totally out of breath. Yes, I was very winded, but not dying and wanting to quit, as has happened before. It never even occurred to me that quitting was even an attractive option. I loved every minute of it. Even in the sunny, hot, uphill, drymouthed stretches. I felt back in my element. THIS part, this part is where the spirit of Holley is. I count this as a major NSV.
It's the last day of my work vacation today and I need to do some major housework before going back to the grind on Monday. Maybe it will amount to a workout and maybe it won't. At some point I'll go on out, take on the day, and get some sort of workout in. I'm hooked on it.