About to give up
Thursday, May 30, 2013
I am tweny years old (twenty one this year). I'm 1.67m tall and weigh 77kg. This is over 10kg more than I weighed 2 years ago and the thouhgt that I've gained so much weight repulses me. The truth is, I don't eat very much (especially as far as portions sizes are concerned, I eat as much as my 10 year old little sister). I think that the combinsaion of the long hours of my degree and the corresponding lack of excercise contributed to the problem. I am also finding that I am a nervous eater with spikes around exam times and I snack at night out of habit. I can admit to these weaknesses.
The problem comes in here: last year I joined a gym and went religiously almost daily (4-5 times a week) for 6 months! I'd switch from joggimg, running, cycling elliptical and rowing (doing about two of these for 20min each at a workout). I would find that on the Monday (after a weekend of not going) I had gained up to 3kg. This cycle, that was becoming increasingly destructive for my self-esteem, went on and by the time the 6months were through i had a net loss of 0.5kg! This regimen was being suported by my cutting down on the horrible food at residence and limited snacking. I have never felt worse about myself in my ENTIRE LIFE than at that period an i was "healthy". I had become fit but had lost neither centimetres/inches/pants size nor weight. from that point on I effectively shunned gym and continued eatin propretly for 6 months and maintained that weight.
This year, I am mow cooking my (much healthier) own meals, go to gym about otwice a month, snack incessantly and have gained 1kg. You can imagine that, despite my current wieht and the inactivity bothering me somewhat, I am much happier. I REALLY want to lose weight and become fit and healthy again but I am struggling to get into a routine and battling the snacking monster.
I found spark people by accident and signed up. the constant reminders annoy me beacsue they remind me of what I'm not doing but when I do get around to reading the stories, I am astounded and inspired. Please healthy people, I need advice, a plan and a support system!
Palesa 11 (it means flower)