Moving Forward

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

I have to pull myself out of this. Two years of circling in this depression and self destructiveness is more than enough. I have made progress but lately it is two steps forward and one and a half back. I do so well for a few days and then cannot drag myself out of bed. I feel helpless and angry so much of the time. I know what I need to do, but sometimes it doesn't feel worth the effort.

That sounds so whiny and I am sorry. I guess I really just needed to see how pathetic it is so I can move forward. I have whined enough. I wish I could say that I will never come back here again, but I always seem to end up in this place. For today, I am determined to move forward. It all begins with one step. Today I have taken steps to improve my physical health and now I am taking steps to improve my mental health. I know that I can get where I am going, but I have to let go of the past. Now if only I can follow my own advice and don't look back.
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    That is great advice you are giving yourself!! Depression is really hard to deal with and I do understand it. I was 14 years old when my depression hit. I couldn't eat, sleep or go to school. I have been hospitalized for depression 8 times. I don't know your past either. But you are worth it! You will get out of this funk! The other ladies have given you good advice and you sound like you know what you need to do. Maybe some exercise would lift your depression a little. Try it and see if it helps. Don't give up! You are worth the effort. God Bless!

    Angie emoticon
    2874 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/2/2013 4:51:04 PM
    All I can say is that mental health is important.. and complex.. I hope you're seeking professional help but in the meantime it's science that says exercise (hard exercise) releases huge amounts of dopamine which is what most antidepressants have in them.. so you might work up a sweat and see how you feel... but again, I am not being flippant because I do understand the complexity (and hopeless feeling) that comes along with depression..

    best to you
    2878 days ago
    I have no words that can make anything better for you. I can't snap my fingers and suddenly fix it all. I have been where you are. Not in the exact shoes, but on that same path that feels so hopeless. Don't give up on yourself. You're worth every ounce of struggle. Like I said I know I can't say anything to make any of it better and I can't fix anything, but if you ever just need to talk, I'm here. Send me a sparkmail. I check often.

    Love to you! emoticon
    2878 days ago
  • HEYNOW22
    forward is the best direction : )
    2878 days ago
    I understand you and that is what my journey is about this time. I know I will lose the weight.. as a friend of mine says.. When I fix my mind.. my body will fix itself.

    I have quit using food as my shield , my comfort , my way to drown out the past and mistakes.. IT is Hard I am not going to lie.. but I try to live presently.. Yesterday is gone and the space between my ears is the only place holding on.. I am letting go.. I hope you can to.. IT is over and I can't change it.. We can change our choice to let it control us . We can change it's hold over us..

    I don't pretend to know all your past .. but I have my own and I am so much happier now that I have just let it go.. It matters but not really.. IT is over and I am here today .. Today is all I have for sure and I am da** well living . I am done Hiding . If I can help in any way let me know.. I will do my best to help you .

    Living presently is so much more peaceful for my mind and in turn my body.

    hugs and love,

    2878 days ago
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