60,000-79,999 SparkPoints 73,296

Maybe this Week!!!

Monday, May 27, 2013

Today I weighed myself: 201!! I'm breathing down the neck of 199!! I really want to get myself this bedspread that I've picked out as a reward.....but the bedspread and a pillow sham come to about $75....and next month's budget is very tight and the month hasn't even started!! I don't know that there is going to be any way for me to get that as a reward. I think I'm going to start praying about this, that if God wants me to have that bedspread that he will make a way....and if he wants me to be content with a book or a pair of earrings....then to do that instead and to help me to be happy about it.

Today my husband was looking at me as I stood in the kitchen and he said, "You've lost weight!" Nothing tastes as good as hearing that feels!

Today is my daughter's 21st birthday. I think back to that day....14 hours of hard labor and 3 hours of pushing. I was bruised and swollen afterward....but so so happy. I was thinner and prettier in those days....and I was ignorant of the hardships and suffering that lay down the road. It's been a long hard 21 years and at the same time that seems like yesterday. I would do some things so differently...some things I would pay more attention to and enjoy more thoroughly. I would treasure many of the moments more than I did. I would enjoy the freedoms more. But I could never love my daughter more or be more grateful for her than I am.

Sorry for that burst of nostalgia. I looked through the photo album today that I made for my daughter of the first four years of her life. I looked at the pictures of my parents twenty years ago.....when they were the age I am now. They looked so young and strong and now seem so frail and old....and I think "In the next 21 years....I will be in my 70's.....and looking like my parents. My parents will likely be gone by then....My husband? Will he be here? After his diagnosis of heart is hard to know. Change is coming. Maybe more change than has already occurred. My daughter will be 42. The thought of all of that fills me with some dread.....but not really fear. My Lord will get me through it one day; one step at a time. Hopefully I will be healthy at 70 ....Hopefully the eating choices I'm making these days will pay off in those days. They certainly can't hurt.

Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    2708 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5645667
    Hi Cyn, never apologise for reminiscing. The past is what made us who we are .. The present is ours to make amends and to prepare for the future. I am so proud to be one of your friends.
    We have been through a lot of ups and downs in the last few years, but we are still here and looking to a better future.
    I am wishing you and your daughter a very happy day, one whose birthday it is, and another who gave birth ..
    If your daughter is as loving, caring, and as determined as you, then she is so lucky to have you for a mother.
    Love to you both.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2708 days ago
  • _LINDA
    emoticon to your daughter! Motherhood is the toughest job around I think! I hope she has a great day!
    emoticon work with the weight!! Keep it going you can do it, but you ARE allowed to have fun and celebrate your DD's birthday!
    2708 days ago
    HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY, DD!!! I hope ya'll have a marvelous celebration! And, Cynthia, I celebrate YOU!!

    Tiny emoticon
    2709 days ago
    Yesterday is gone - tomorrow is not here - we only have today. Don't look to what might happen, just be sure you make the most of today. Love those that you have today and be sure they know you are there and that they have that love. I have said goodbye to so many - both parents, a husband, and a daughter. I can proudly say that I had a chance to tell each one that I loved them in the last moments that I saw them. The happy memories are strong in our hearts and conversations when we talk of them all. We laugh about the funny stories and happy times. So live today and make the most of today. Let the years come and go as they will, but don't borrow what you don't know might come. God has you all in His Hands and only He knows His Plan. Live strong - live happy - and live with love.
    2709 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.