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Trying to thaw out

Saturday, May 25, 2013

For a long time now I've felt frozen solid. I go to work, come home, and NOTHING else. Meantime, my apartment is a disaster area, my car is full of trash I need to throw out, and my clothes are a mess (dirty, torn, just plain worn out). I don't know if it's depression (probably), but I've felt like I can't move, or that it will be bad if I do. I didn't say this makes any sense. Then last night I had the terrifying thought that I'm just sliding toward death this way. I haven't even lived in a long time! So right now I'm trying to do a few things.

No, my fridge doesn't actually have a cat in it (since I don't even own a cat). But it would get any restaurant shut down. There are a few jars in there that are literally a couple of years out of date. There's stuff in there that I'm pretty sure can talk. And I have a very difficult time reaching the bottom shelves to wash them. But it occurred to me that it's probably severely unhealthy to have it that way, so I've started throwing stuff out and I'm getting ready to try the acrobatics it's going to take to get the shelves all washed. I'm making a big bowl of hot water and baking soda to wash them with. In fact, I'll probably wash out one of the veggie drawers and use it for the basin to wash the rest of it.

My lounging gowns are a disgrace -- stained, worn out, you name it. I guess I got feeling that since nobody sees me, it doesn't matter. But I don't want to feel that way any more. The large-size site I use has loungewear on sale right now, so I bought two for summer and two to put away for winter (no, that's not one of them). And wonder of wonders, all four of them were in stock! This site is famous for telling you something you order in May won't be available until November, so I got lucky.

Laundry is a huge hurdle for me. Bundling it all up and hauling it to the laundromat is a very big job. However, there's one very accessible laundry room near me in my complex. Normally I spend my Sunday mornings with Alton Brown (Good Eats marathon). But I think tomorrow morning I have to break sweet Alton's heart and drive over to that laundry room. It's only a short walk from the parking space to the door. I can wait in my car while the clothes wash. And if I get there when it opens at 8AM, I'll have no competition and I can probably get it all done within an hour and a half or so. And I can ALWAYS record Good Eats...

A side benefit of having my clothes clean may be that I'll feel more like dressing up a bit. I own some really pretty jewelry -- nothing pricey, but all pretty. I haven't worn it in literally years. Maybe it's time again.

When I was still with my ex, every Saturday night was my "spa night." Perfumed shower gel, perfumed lotion and maybe powder, fresh nightgown. If I was of a mind to give myself a manicure, it happened on Saturday night.

I have literally not done this in the twenty-two years since I left him. I think it's time to reinstate Saturday Spa Night.

I may be sixty, but I don't think that's old enough to stop living just yet.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I love your idea of spa night! I may have to do that as well! You deserve some pampering. I have to clean out my refrigerator as well, so let me know how your cleaning went and I'll let you know how mine went! Also, let me know what you did for your "spa"!!!
    1849 days ago
    I hope you have found the strength and motivation to "live again." You deserve the blessings that life has to offer!

    1851 days ago
    I hope you got your spa night in. I know I feel so much better about myself after a night of either a hot shower or long soak in the tub with all the "fru-fru" bath gels and good smelling lotions.

    Good luck on getting the laundry done (that is my least favourite chore next to cleaning the fridge).
    1851 days ago

    You deserve a clean house, new clothes and a spa night. Go for it!
    1851 days ago
  • LIS193
    There is nothing more uplifting than cleaning something - instant gratification :)
    1852 days ago
    Go for it! You only get to have one day at a time so why not make it the best day ever? emoticon
    1852 days ago
  • KARENE10
    You deserve a spa night! emoticon
    1852 days ago
    When I stopped working some years back, I knew no one of importance would see me anymore. What do I care about the clerk at the grocery store's opinion of my appearance? But I decided that I would start every day by having breakfast and cleaning up the kitchen, making the bed, getting dressed in clean clothes, and wearing lipstick and perfume. It's amazing how the little things can lift a spirit. Wear lipstick and perfume when doing laundry or cleaning the fridge!
    1852 days ago
  • GABY1948
    I agree, reinstate the spa night...even make it 2 a week if that is what it takes! I will be 65 in just months and I agree...60 anything is not old enough to give up! emoticon
    1852 days ago
    Hope you have a good day today
    1852 days ago
    I'm with you chickie.

    Reinstate the Spa night!

    PS just as old/young/mature/ whatever as you are!
    1852 days ago
  • BEFIT018
    Spa Night sounds wonderful! Since my husband has been overseas I almost have to force myself to get dressed every day--why can't I wear my baggy clothes? It's not like anyone important is going to see me? But I do feel SO much better about myself.

    I keep saying I'm going to clean out my frig but I haven't yet. Maybe today is the day!

    1852 days ago
    1852 days ago
    Hey every girl deserves a spa night to boost her and make her feel amazing. Age doesn't matter, it's good for the soul emoticon
    1852 days ago
    You absolutely deserve a spa night and to wear your jewelry!
    1852 days ago
    You know I'm all for pampering yourself with a spa night. You need to do special things for yourself and that is one. Taking little steps is what will work for you in the long run.
    1852 days ago
    1852 days ago
    Wishing you relief.
    1852 days ago
    What a wonderful, methodical approach to getting back into the zest of life. I love the idea of reinstating spa night--it's not for anyone else; it's for you! Give yourself credit for whatever you accomplish towards these goals--there are a ton listed and even just getting started on one of them is progress! And then I love CarolJean64's idea--relax with a cuppa (and maybe a recorded Good Eats!). emoticon
    1852 days ago
    You are so right! It is definitely time to re-instate spa night! GO FOR IT! And you're right . . . if you get to the laundro and get your clothes clean, you'll feel better!

    So, record the Good Eats Marathon! Then you can enjoy it when you're done. He won't mind!
    1852 days ago
    Wonderful! Congrats on some terrific steps forward!
    1852 days ago
    Hey wake up is time to really get to know life again. You are not old. I am 64 and I feel like I can go a couple of rounds again. You need a project, a hobby or take classes. You sound like you love cooking shows, so instead of just watching them, try cooking the food.
    You just need to find something that makes you feel better, If you like I can read your angel cards...let me know...It is just something I practice...I don't charge I like to help if I can.
    You need to find yourself again,. Maybe join a club with people around to give you that reason to dress up a little. You can do this. If you need to talk to someone spark mail me.
    Just perk up and have a little fun. Pam
    1852 days ago
    I LOVE THIS BLOG. It is so upbeat and so full of hope. Now, one warning. Love yourself enough to be pleased with whatever you accomplish. Then, relax and enjoy a cuppa!
    1852 days ago
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