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Skinny vs Healthy

Thursday, May 23, 2013

The other day I was having a discussion with my mom and like always body image and weight came up. I was talking about how I wasn't that happy with the weight that I've put back on. I don't like the NUMBER. It's not really about how I look and definitely not how I feel I just hate the numbers. I have been trying to do the whole "No Weight May", well I've cheated a few times. For the past few weeks my weight hasn't moved, which I guess it's a good thing it hasn't increased but with my eating and working out it really seems like it should have.

Anyways, I got to thinking "Why do I need to weigh less?" What does that number really represent? Does it make me more beautiful to weigh less? Does it make me any less fit to weigh more? I mean I still work out just as hard, probably harder than I did at my low weight. Do I have more flab on my stomach than I would like, yeah of course and I'm sure I always will. But you know what; I feel so much more alive now than I did when I was skinnier. I know I am stronger and I also know that I don't feel like death every night. I don't get dizzy spells like I used to; my hair is growing back in and my skin doesn't look so pale. Yeah there is extra meat on my bones, my pants are a bit tighter, but really I feel so AMAZING.

Those days when I get down because my pants don't hang like they used to, or my NUMBER on the scale is higher I remember that I am HEALTHY which is so much better than SKINNY!



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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    It's all such a mind game... you are looking so great and I am glad you are posting about these things. It helps me so much.
    2093 days ago
    You look much healthier in the second picture so basically your outside matches your inside! And you're still small! So to me it's a win win here! I think you're too hard on yourself. You look great! You exude health!
    2094 days ago
    Why would you want to battle your weight all the time? I experienced the same thing - got to goal weight but had to watch every bite I put in my mouth to stay there. I decided those extra 5 pounds just don't mean that much to me!! I'd much rather maintain at a weight where I can be a bit more relaxed with my eating. And as others have said, you LOOK better with the extra pounds!! Since you say you FEEL better to me it is a no brainer!! 'Nuf said!!
    2096 days ago
    It's so very tricky with the "numbers game" since so often when we set out to lose weight we have a goal weight (number or range of numbers) in mind ... and so from the outset we are obsessed with the numbers - seeing the numbers on the scale go down, watching our endurance increase in the form of numbers (how long we can run, how far we can walk, how many reps of an exercise we can perform) ... we measure inches lost, people constantly asking how much we've lost, how much more we'd like to lose, measuring our food is often reduced to a numbers game as well ... so we're in this world of numbers swirling all around and then at the very end we're told not to focus on the numbers. I agree with what Holly ... you look great - and you are saying you feel great - and your medical provider is happy with where you are from what you've said ... your health and your ability to commit to maintaining are what count in the end.
    2099 days ago
    You look amazing but it depends on how you feel. If you feel good then don't fret over the numbers.
    2099 days ago
    You look amazing and you are absolutely right. It has everything to do with how you feel and nothing to do with the number. So many people are hell bent to get to that magic number which for some is ultimately unrealistic. If you are healthy, happy and feel good at the weight you are at then that is where you body is meant to be. Not to long ago another member posted a similar blog. She said she was always struggling to get to a certain weight and in doing so she was always hungry, stressed, not feeling well, and frankly didn't look well. She looked drawn and bony, she didn't have any energy and just plain didn't look good. It wasn't until she accepted a higher weight as what what right for her body that she too realized its not the number but the feeling that is important. emoticon
    2099 days ago
    I enjoyed that article. It is so true. You look so much better, and I am sure you feel better as well. Sometimes I get hung up on those numbers. I know I should exercise more so I could work on those problem areas, but I am getting better and I am just giving myself time rather than wishing it would happen "right now". Keep up the good work. emoticon emoticon emoticon

    2099 days ago
  • ELLES26
    2099 days ago
    You know, I completely agree with you. It's about how you feel. After seeing those pics, I have to say, you really looked almost sickly in that "skinny" pic. You're arms were SO thin and frail. You look so radiant in the "healthy" pic. Like you said, you workout as you did before, and you feel amazing, isn't that all that matters?
    2099 days ago
    Hey Girl! You are looking and feeling great! Don't get caught up in the stupid numbers game! Are you making healthy choices for yourself daily? Are feeling good or even better?

    Enough said.
    2099 days ago
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