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Getting back on track

Thursday, May 23, 2013

My computer has been acting up as of late. It says my 'start up disk is full'. OK it's a Mac, that means my hard drive memory storage is full. yada yada must clean up a bunch of stuff. So I alway start with pictures first. I seam to always fine some I can delete that where taken from my phone and aren't needed or aren't good.

In the process of going thru the photos I looked back at what I looked like a year ago! It's the same pictures that are on my blog. I found the difference of what I looked like last year at this time and this year at this time to be so much that it's almost depressing.

The honest truth? I've gained 20 lb in the past year! 20! That's alot that's too much. I keep loosing the same 5 lbs and gaining it back right now. Why? I'm not sure. I know "HOW" but not "WHY". I will be doing some soul searching to figure that out. I eat and eat and eat. I can't stop some days.. other days I do OK. My exercise has been a bit spotty the past few weeks due to illness (but that's only been one month)

There is a mental, psychological difference in me this past year. I need to search it out and fix it. I'm not happy with what and who I see in the mirror or in photos. I don't even look happy in any of the photos lately.

Some things I will be looking into is what has changed in our lives in the past year. I know of a few key events around the time that I started to gain weight. I can not change the out come of those events, and I must learn to live with them. So I will spend some time trying to figure out how.

Next I need to come back up with a menu tracking plan that will work for me. I must figure out how to not 'binge' eat. When am I bingeing and why? Last year I was doing great I would look at the calories like money and saving spending plan. That same trick isn't working right now.

So I am looking to jump start this weight loss again. I have 20 lb of FAT that I must get rid of by the end of summer! So a plan will be made and MUST be followed.

I need to find my happy place again.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    So sorry to hear that your weight is up and mostly sorry to hear that you don't look as happy as a year ago. You have had A LOT this year and you are doing great. Most of us would just curl up in a ball on the couch and put on a lot more than 20 lbs.

    Hang in there and good luck figuring out your plan! Let us know if there's anything we can do to help!

    Hugs to you!
    emoticon emoticon
    1812 days ago
    Yes I , too am back after gaining 50 lbs back. I just keep telling myself that I am worth the effort to get healthy and keep pushing forward. emoticon emoticon
    1820 days ago
    I hear you, I've gained 10lbs this last year. I know you will figure it out and looking forward to following you along your journey.
    1823 days ago
    You will figure it out, I know. Recognizing what is happening (and caring about it) is a big part of the battle; what works at one point in our lives often doesn't at another, so it's a process of making adjustments and changing as we need to. Hang in there and don't give up--you are worth the effort!

    1823 days ago
    I keep saying these words to people every time I read this type of blog..."right there with you". I look forward to watching you get it done!
    1823 days ago
    Gaining back stinks. It also adds back layers in different places.
    You'll find your way through this, figure out another way of managing your eating, and get back to where you want to be.
    1824 days ago
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