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Thursday, May 23, 2013

I don't have a cohesive blog topic today. I seem to be just rambling in my head. Raving might be a better word.
Ever feel like you are simply going insane?
That's me today. Again.

What's on my mind?

Not sure. Frustration, I think.
- At people at work; back stabbers and the inept
- At family, from whom there is no escape
- At myself mostly. Yeah; me.

I know, intellectually, that it does no good whatsoever to beat myself up about things. I should identify the problem, and then fix it. Simple. HA!

WHY is it never that simple?!? I wish I knew!

Work - I should be grateful I have a good job, and just go to work and do my work. But watching all the inequity makes me insane. And I am totally powerless.

Family - I continue to request the same respect that I expect from friends, but I don't always get it. More often, the attempts at sending me on a guilt trip now just make me angry. And I'm so tired of being angry.

Me - 40+ years of poor eating habits and sedentary behavior do NOT go away overnight. For some insane reason, I expect the weight to magically fall off me now that I have decided to follow the Eat to Live plan. Insane. And without exercise. I don't want to exercise. There are hundreds of things I'd rather do. Having dental work might even be on the list. Some evil little, or maybe no so little, part of me resists, and comes up excuses. Just do it? Right. I could be on the elliptical right now, but I choose to be typing this blog. It's like part of me is sabotaging my efforts. Why?

Clearly, I am insane.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Family can be a pain sometimes and inequality at work is incredibly frustrating. Try to take a little breaks from the stress. I find that taking little breaks, even if it's just five minutes helps a lot. As for exercising, you need to find something fun and enjoyable. Getting rid of the lbs doesn't have to be boring! Take baby steps. Workout for 5 minutes twice a day or something like that. The hardest part is getting started. Once you find something you enjoy, you will notice it helps with the anger and the stress.
    Most people on this site have something to work on. Food issues, medical issues, emotional problems. You are not alone and you are right, making changes takes time. Give yourself the time. It's easy to crave instant gratification and want to see the scale move now but it is just as satisfying to change no matter how long it takes.

    Good luck!!

    1830 days ago
    Nobody said life was going to be easy for you. It is a world where you have to fight to get any place. Nobody is standing in line to give you a chance. You are on your own. Now, what are you going to do about it?
    Are you going to continue to cry, make excuses, or are you going to finally stand up for yourself and say I am finally going to succeed.

    Family, don't count on them. There one thing in life, especiallysiblings, is to make fun or you, in anyway they can. To get you upset so they can laugh. Are you going to be their laughing toy? Are you going to let them do this to you? Stand up for yourself. You are a person just like them.
    You need to do exercises, no excuses. What is wrong with riding a sit down bike or a reg bike and reading a book while your legs do the work?
    What is wrong with walking around the house carrying weights, or doing some deep bending exercises? You want to lose weight, it doesn't just fall off, like it goes on easy. It takes will power to take it off. It takes wanting to live to take it off. It takes seeing yourself finally succeed in something that you though you could never do. So pick yourself up and say to yourself, I can do it and then go and do it. When you find you are getting to that bad position again start shouting, I can do, I can do it, and then go it. You can, you know you can. You are a beautiful woman, inside and out, so don't let anyone tell you elsewise. emoticon
    1830 days ago
    You are not insane....you are trying to break a cycle. My journey is probably very close to yours.... my ex not very respectful... my sons saw all this... after the divorce, I remember one incident where my oldest was just being so disrespectful to me at a family gathering... I'd asked him a number of times to stop... I finally just stood up and told him to leave my house .... that I will not allow you to keep talking to me this way in my house... you will learn to respect me. It did take lots of work... but se afe in a much better place now.. BUT just me standing up in ftont of everyone and telling them to behave wasa huge thing for me.

    As for work.... I remember just saying to myself "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, and the courage to change the things I can" I said that A LOT! You can do these things for yourself, be your own best friend..... you would be there to do whatever your friend would need.... do it for YOURSELF! emoticon
    1830 days ago
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