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Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Today is DAY EIGHT. I'm really amazed at myself for making it this far. I forgot to weigh myself this morning, but that's ok. I only have two more days and then I can move on to my next goal. One of my new friends that I met on the Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead Facebook page is going to do the Couch to 5K with me. She's going to start on Monday, and I'm planning to start Sunday. I'm eager to break in my new workout shoes that I bought on Saturday!

I'm really excited about the sleepover that Daughter is having on Friday night! I know the girls are very excited as well. I have a lot more planned than they realize I do. I'm going to pick them up just a few minutes early from school (so we don't have to wait in that stupid car rider line). Then I'm going to take them all to the Fitness Center and let them play in the pool for an hour or so. Earlier that day, I will have picked up their awesome, custom "beach" cake (which they know nothing about), and I will also have decorated the kitchen/dining room in a "beach" theme. Friday is the very last day of school for me and for them, and they will be officially out of sixth grade... I wanted to do something really special for them. Husband is going to bring home pizzas for them and I'll head to my preschool graduation.

Which brings me to my next topic -- Friday is going to be really hard! I'm going to be around pizza (my absolute favorite food in the whole world) and two different cakes (one at my house and one at the preschool graduation), then popcorn and drinks and whatever else. I know I can get through it, it's just hard to be around all that yummy stuff. Honestly, it's probably better this way, it's probably better that I'm doing a juice fast -- I don't know how else I'd stay away from all that stuff otherwise. Small blessings, I guess :)

I've been noticing things about myself during this Cleanse. I've noticed that sometimes I feel really, really hungry. I'll almost be agitated. I feel kind of anxious and bored at the same time. It's hard for me to describe it. I guess maybe stir-crazy is a good description. So I've been going out and gardening. First of all, it's a productive activity, and besides, I'm actually really enjoying it. In the past, it's just been something I've done because I wanted to, but I didn't really have my head or heart in it. I sure do this time. It's such a neat feeling to see little dots of green popping up from black soil, knowing you planted those seeds and they are growing, and that they will eventually bring you FOOD. It's just so cool! Husband and I have been working really hard for the past few days (not every day, but every other day...or so) and we've got all kinds of plants in the ground now: pumpkins, cantaloupe, watermelon, three different kinds of tomatoes, broccoli, okra, squash, zucchini, and two different kinds of cukes. And there's still LOTS more that have sprouted but aren't ready to go in the ground. I'm tickled! I haven't had a garden in two years. I'm really trying to take extra-good care of my plants this year and really have a successful garden. If my garden is turns out to be what I hope it will be, I plan to buy this beginner's canning kit that I've had my eye on. I want to make pickles! And Salsa and all kinds of apple "stuff" :) I can also freeze some food. So what I've noticed, is that when I come back in from gardening, I'm not hungry anymore. So I'm learning that maybe my hunger isn't always real hunger. I am learning that sometimes it's just my body telling me to get up and do something productive. It feels incredible to listen to my body when it's saying that! I'm not getting fatter from sitting around, I'm getting healthier from moving. And there's no guilt, no shame or frustration, only satisfaction and pride. And I much, MUCH prefer that to the guilt. It feels so good to be doing something useful and beneficial.

Of course when I get done with all this, it's 9pm or later, usually. But oh well. It makes me feel good so it's worth it. Every night, I get in bed with a mug of hot herbal tea. No Nyquil in a week. No alcohol in well over a week. Nothing but fresh juice/smoothies for eight whole days. I had an avocado with fresh squeezed lemon juice tonight for dinner It's allowed during my cleanse). It was the best avocado I've ever had. I have been salivating over the butternut squash that I'm going to eat when my fast is over. Yum. It feels so interesting to be craving healthy food. Honestly...I've been thinking more about that stupid butternut squash than I have about the pizza and cake! Maybe I'm changing, finally. Maybe I really am going to make it this time.

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