KAREN91
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Depressed

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

I'm having a hard day today. I've been thinking about my oldest son, my first born. He hasn't had any contact with me for over 2 months now. He said I'm not his mother anymore. No one can hurt you quite like your kids. He says I've never been there for him but I raised him it's his dad that left when he was 4! He still talks to his dad and he never does this to him! Hes done this to me before, when he was 17 he didn't have any contact with me for 2 years. Now hes 32 and hes doing this again except this time he told me I'm not his mother anymore and don't try to contact him again. I contacted him once since then but received no reply! Some days are harder then others. I don't think I could make it at all without the rest of my children and my faith in God. I will try to get to a more positive place but today I just want to cry!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MIWOLFF
    I am so sorry to hear about your situation with your son. It is sad when the Inez's we love the most hurt us the most. I agree...you deserve a good cry. Sometimes it helps to release that pain. Know that we are all here for you. emoticon
    1975 days ago
  • LILPAT3
    People make their choices, right or wrong. You must stay with people that support you and love you for who you are. Let go of those that don't! I know that is easier said than done but for your health, you have to make the tough choice. emoticon
    1979 days ago
  • MARILYNROBERT
    I'm so sorry and I'm glad that you have your other children in your life. That doesn't replace his presence in your life, I know, but still you do have them. You are still his mother though, he can't take that away from you even if he says you aren't. emoticon
    1979 days ago
  • CHANTENAY
    Lizalot brought up a good point. They tend to take their feelings out on moms because we're a safe place. It's not quite the same with dads, even if they're nice and have a good relationship with their kids. Just be certain that it's not you, what's going on is something that's in him somewhere.

    emoticon
    1979 days ago
  • LINDA!
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    1979 days ago
  • DOVESEYES
    My mum's favourite saying ---When they're babies they break your back ---when they grow up they break your heart----

    So sorry you have to deal with this. Thinking of you emoticon
    1979 days ago
  • KACAR51
    emoticon emoticon
    1979 days ago
  • LIZALOT
    Oh dear, it really does hurt. i think kids tend to hurt their mothers more than their fathers, because they are (or at least were) that much closer to them. Doesn't help though.

    emoticon
    1979 days ago
  • CHANTENAY
    Kids don't make any sense sometimes, even when they're grown up, but I bet he loves you.
    1979 days ago
  • CLAIREINPARIS
    I am so sorry and so sad to read this dear Karen... I don't have any advice to give, I just want you to know I am thinking of you and feeling your sorrow. I wish I could ease your pain.
    emoticon emoticon
    1979 days ago
  • CLAIREMZM
    Oh Karen, my heart aches for you! If you check our book discussion, you will see that my reason for wanting to cry is not even worth mentioning compared to this. I will be praying for you and your son.
    1979 days ago
  • USMAWIFE
    emoticon
    1979 days ago
  • SKINNYROBIN100
    Karen...this is probably the hardest kind of hurt imaginable and I know just how bad you feel right now. You have to cry and let it count. Really grab ahold of the loss and just scream and stomp and cry. When you feel this bad you need to pass THROUGH this pain and not let it take over in other bad inappropriate ways and it will if you don't let it take over right now and get it out of your soul! I raised my son, Brandon mostly alone since he was 4, and now he is turning 30. He lived at home with me till he was 24 and we were close most of this time. Not without a few periods of him living briefly with his dad once, a friend of mine once and with a group of guys once. All only months worth really, till he met his now wife at 24 and somehow things have just turned to crap. I don't have any other children...he is it and I love him like no other on this planet. I would give him whatever he needs and I have. His wife is younger than he is by a bunch and she is really immature about my relationship with him and sees it as some kind of threat or I take up too much time or something along those lines and Brandon has to keep her spirits first. With my depressions and PTSD...it just sends me over the edge every time. She won't allow herself to get close to me at all and I've bent over backwards trying. Well to make this shorter....They moved over 1000 miles away right after Xmas to NC where his father now lives!!! Him, his wife and my only grandbaby, Emma. She is 2 1/2 yrs. So I know what you are going through right now. Hang on tight to your other children and let them comfort you as much as they want and thank the heavens you have them in your life. Keep your chin up and get counseling right now to help you just in case things get worst. I'll be thinking about you and you can post me anytime if you need to. You'll survive and then an answer will present itself for this situation when you are stronger, and can show your son a happy face and love him through it all. He'll respond. Just give it time and take care of yourself first. Which is hard to do when you are a MOM of great kids!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon Robin
    1980 days ago
  • RASPBERRY56
    This scenario is exactly the reason why I get deeply concerned for those parents who live so vicariously and completely through their children's lives........the excruciating pain that results when, for whatever reason, that bond is broken......

    emoticon
    1980 days ago
  • BRAVELUTE
    Cry, and then go make a veggie/fruit smoothie. Just to be sure you're getting the micronutrients needed to help your "nerves" deal with those who don't appreciate the wonderful things you've done.

    And how would you know if he talked to his dad like that? They'd never tell you.
    1980 days ago
  • CJJANISS
    emoticon no one can hurt you like your kids can...hopefully your son will come to realize that he only has mother and that nobody is perfect!
    1980 days ago
  • GETULLY
    Cry--that leads to better, eventually. DH's son has done nothing to acknowledge him for several years. No phone calls on Fathers' Day, or birthday, or Christmas, or.... Ever since son moved back in with ex-wife, to save money. Hmmmm...

    It is true, no one can wound like a child. Write it all down, let the paper get all splotchy with tears, and then burn it. Somehow, I find, watching the smoke rise from the fire is quite cathartic.

    Wishing you a recovering day today, and tomorrow, and tomorrow... We are here if you want to vent. emoticon emoticon
    1980 days ago
  • -WRKNG2ABTTRME-
    I am very sorry that you are having this bad day. Sometimes, crying can help. Not the situation...but, supposed to release some chemical or something that helps us to feel better. So...do it if need be. I'm here if you want to talk. emoticon

    ~Nancy~
    1980 days ago
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