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Two years later and I am prompted to do the same thing

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Okay, so I just discovered notes attached to goodies that people have sent me--and some of the goodies were given to me years ago, literally! So yesterday and today I read the notes, and one note attached to a goodie given to me said that the Sparker was encouraged by my blog "today." That date was 5/25/2011. So I read the blog and I had to take note: in that blog I talked about my new decision to give away goodies to people as a way of motivating myself. That was two full years ago, almost to the very day. What's funny is that for the last two weeks, I have been giving out goodies for that very reason, not realizing that I started (and dropped) this mission two years ago! (I haven't been on spark much in the last two years.) It has been on my mind and on my mind, as I off and on hop onto spark looking for motivation and help to end my poor-eating lifestyle, so I made a mental commitment last week to give away sparkgoodies, and I even added it to my "other goals" to help push me to do it. The fact that I was urged to do this two years ago is no coincidence to me. I think maybe God was telling me to do it then, and maybe is telling me to do it now.

I think that part of the reason that I eat the way that I do is because of the way I grew up: my family did not have lots of money, but we had lots of people at home: six kids and two parents. So there were no seconds at dinner, and when my parents bought a 1/2 gallon of ice cream, splitting it between 8 people meant that none of us got much--especially if my parents got "adult" portions, lol! So as I began to earn or acquire my own money (e.g., choosing to walk home from school and keep my bus fare for myself!), I spent it on food and clothes (we also shared some clothes, and my mother sewed a lot). I had as much of whatever treats I wanted when I had money, and I can even recall as a young adult eating to mask discomfort in crowds, just to show that I had it and I could--even if it was just sticking a lollipop in my mouth. What I also remember is being stingy to my siblings. I could have gone to the grocery store and bought a full pound or two of cherries, and I refused to share. Of course, I did the same thing with candy, cookies, and ice cream, and whatever other junk I chose to buy with my money. Even if it was more than I could eat (I can literally remember not being able to eat an entire pint of ice cream!), I would not share. I did not have to. And I wanted as much as I wanted. I believe that all of this, and more, created monstrous habits for me.

Maybe the fix, God could be telling me, includes me focusing more on giving. While I can gladly say that I am not generally a stingy person, I do think that the covetous or "protective" habits I created with food and "things" because of the lack I experienced as a child still rears its ugly head: I always look for sales, I make sure that money and property are properly expended/divided/accounted for, I consider whether or not giving is a "waste," and so on. While all of this can be good in lots of situations, again, I believe it also has its cons, like creating the eating monster, lol! So if I can start with something simple that I just give freely without having to "consider" the "waste," like sparkgoodies--why else do we have the points???--maybe it will cause me to stress less about holding onto other things, like food: I don't HAVE to buy 20 bags of post-holiday candy because I got them at a great price!

So don't be surprised if you receive a sparkgoodie from me, whether we are friends or not. I am on a mission to change, and this prompting to give, I believe, will be a great help to me. See you soon!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    How sweet! And yes I did receive a goodie from you too!!

    Come by the sp class of May 2010 and huddle with us and visit the Coffee Hut. We are very supportive and live to hear more.

    Hugs, Anne

    1821 days ago
  • SPARKLE1908
    Giving is a wonderful gift...I have a zillion Spark points (not really, but I have a lot, LOL) and I do need to start spreading the blessings around...thanks for the idea!!!
    1823 days ago
    I have tried the same things myself--and I feel more blessed now than ever! It's amazing what giving just little things can do--like complimenting a cashier at the grocery store...or saying something nice to my kids....

    Little things add up to greater generosity & a happy spirit! Thanks for the fantastic blog & happy reminder! :)
    1825 days ago
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