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Moving forward

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Since I wrote my last blog and reading all the advice and encouragement from everyone, I decided I needed to figure out what was really causing me to be so down . It was just a little of what I said, but I thought long and hard about when I started to get depressed and I found my answer, the whole deal is about my oldest grandson. He met this girl or I should say women. Tyler will be 20 June 1 , his new g-friend is 32. Well the age difference doesn't bother me . It was other things ,that unfolded. They moved into together, but she lives with her mother. neither one of them have a job, I heard her ask Tyler if he was going with her to Michigan to see the girls. When his grandfather on his dad's side passed away I pick them up to meet his Dad., and they were talking about getting married. I ask him how long has he known her? A week, 2, a month? He said 3 months , I didn't believe him, because we were always real close and he always told me about all his girl friends and I have never heard of her. Anyway he said he didn't care what I said I couldn't stop him from marring her. A few days latter He text his sister late at night told her he had to take her to hospital, by ambulance and needed a ride home. I ask her what was wrong with her she said something was twisted down there. I asked a birth control device? She said no, mamaw she is pregnant. That is why they want to get married fast. And about the kids she already has, she had triplets , one died and the others are still in hospital in Michigan. My thoughts is why ? If she has been here for at least 3 months, why are they still in hospital, and why are you here? I know in my heart if she is pregnant , it is not Tyler. She was planning a big wedding , dress tuxes , bride mates etc. I asked Kelsey where where they getting married at, she said at her Mom's. They live in a trailer park and believe me it is 2 steps above being a dump. No place for a wedding , and I would like to know where are they going to get money for it. Anyway there is just allot of things not right. Tyler hasn't talked to me since and that hurts because we were always so close. Anyway I talked to his mom , she told me to quit worrying about it because the way he is he would probably be with some else in a few weeks and if not, what would be will be. He has to learn for his self. Which is true If I protest he will do it for spite. It is hard when you want to protect them, but they have to learn from their own mistakes. I quit worrying about it and I know he will call me one day. I got back to me. My hubby took me to Harrah's in N.C. Saturday night to see Josh Turner in concert ,we had a great time. I heard from all kid's Mother's Day ,except one, he doesn't even call me on my birthday. My youngest came up for awhile, brought me a card and flowers, my daughter called me and sent my some flowers, and my oldest one called. So I had a great day. When I weighed Friday I had lost a pound. So I am moving forward, and putting things behind me and I am not going to worry about things I can't change.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Sorry to hear about the Grand son. Said a prayer for you and him. I am a Grandmother too. These things really hurt. They act before they think.
    The lady that has the babies in the hospital should be with them.
    You are right to be concerned, but all we can do is let them know our concerns and then pray. They will make their crazy mistakes, like all of us have. Some times they learn from them and sometimes they don't.
    He will be ready to talk about it some time after the whole thing falls apart, and then you can be there for him.
    Glad you are moving forward.

    1820 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/25/2013 5:29:58 PM
    Don't you wish a spanking would help. So sorry
    1831 days ago
    HUGS. It is the hardest part of parenting . . . letting our young adults make their mistakes. **SIGH** Things that we can see are a train wreck in the making aren't like that to them. Then the train wreck happens and they wonder why and NOW what do I do. **SIGH**

    Just know you're not alone. LOTS of us go through so much with our yound adult children.

    1831 days ago
  • AUNTB63
    It is very hard to "let go" and let our younger generation make their own mistakes. I don't know why they won't let us guide them with the mistakes we have made. Despite that we try until we just know it is going on dear ears and than we need to move on. Glad you made that decision. You need to take care of yourself. Some day he will call and things will never be the way they were, but it will be good. emoticon
    1831 days ago
    it's hard letting them grow up huh! Sounds like you have a special connection with him - which makes it all the harder. My son is about the same age as him, and he makes a lot of dumb decisions - and he learns from it. There is a huge amount of sadness from your post that I'm guessing comes from him not going the route you envisioned for him (I went through something similar with my son). Here's the thing - telling him he screwed up (and is continuing to do so) will only drive a wedge. While it is hard, letting it go does bring healing. You don't have to agree with his choices - you love him! Life has a funny way of helping each of us figure out things. Some sooner, some later, but eventually we all learn :) Kudos to you for moving forward - Have a blessed day!
    1832 days ago
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