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The Discouragement Monster

Saturday, May 11, 2013

He's back, guys. The discouragement monster is back and this time I feel like I'm letting him win. You know that feeling when you're on the verge of tears and you know that that one little thing is just going to set you off leaking from your eyes? It's kind of like that. I feel like I'm on the very edge of just slumping down on the couch and saying "I've had enough". I know that I shouldn't do that, and I also know that I won't, but COME ON! The scale is driving me mental! And before anyone says anything it's not the only measure I use. I do inches lost and I do take progress photos, but I have a goal weight I'm trying to get to because I know that when I do get there I'll really be in a much more comfortable and healthier range for my height. My goal weight for those who don't know, is 132 lbs and I have the desire to meet that goal by my weigh day of July 27. That's as close to my start date last year (July 24) as I could get with my official weigh-in.

And now, let's go for a little trip, shall we? This is what my weigh-ins have looked like since I hit the 140s:
Mar. 23 - 146.3 (this is the first time I've ever seen a weight that low for myself)
Mar. 30 - 149.3 (bright spot here: I stayed in the 140s!)
Apr. 6 - 147.4
Apr. 13 - 148.5
Apr. 20 - 149.0
May 4 - 146.4
May 11 - 149.0

So that's how that goes. Can you see why I'm frustrated? It looks like I have a bit of a trend where I hit 149, the next week I go down, following that I go up a bit, then BAM! I hit 149 again. The only day I'm extremely peeved about is today's weigh in. Why? Not only because it's the third time I've gone through this little cycle but because on Monday I implemented my meal plan I said I was going to get started with in my last blog. Last Saturday I worked out the foods and snacks I wanted in a day using the SparkPeople cookbook and then Sunday I went grocery shopping and did all my meal prep. Things were put away in the fridge in serving size portions so I could grab them, heat them up and eat! The meals all stay within my calorie range (1440 - 1770) and actually tended to be on the lower end of the range for the most part. That being said, I must admit that there was one day I didn't stick to the plan and know that I went over the range. That was Wednesday, but my fantastic excuse for that is that Wednesday was my birthday and I wanted to enjoy myself and that's precisely what I did. HOWEVER! I didn't enjoy myself enough to erase all the good work I've been doing the rest of the week (and continue to do afterwards) and gain about 2.6 lbs of fat to be at 149 lbs. There's no way that that happened and that's what I'm trying to remind myself of. It's NOT all fat that I've gained--sure there may be some, but all of it? I don't think so.

I guess I'm just more frustrated than anything. I'm tired of seeing 149 because I don't want to go back into the 150s AND 149 is 11 lbs away from the weight I want to be at by my June 1st weigh in (I have smaller goals culminating in my overall goal). That's in 3 weeks time and looking at the numbers is what ends up getting me discouraged. I just don't think that I'll be able to make it to my June 1st weigh in goal and that just makes my bigger goal of 132 seems so far away and unattainable for me. Although, starting out at 172.9 lbs last July, I never thought I'd see any number starting with 1-4 on my scale and I proved myself wrong, didn't I?

Do you think I'm putting too much pressure on myself by focusing so much on the date and the number on the scale? Because I've considered that and feel like maybe I AM putting too much pressure on myself with that goal date of July 27th and being so focused on what I see on the scale and not giving myself any wiggle room. But throughout my own journey, I've realized that if I don't give myself a day that I want to reach my goal weight by I'm not going to push myself with my workouts and I'm going to cheat like nobody's business with my eating. Again, though, I'm just frustrated today and that number could be the result of any number of things. I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow but sometimes we've just gotta vent, right? And I'm so glad I have a community of people I can reach out to!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon I hope you're feeling better by now Mal. I know how annoying and frustrating it is when you're a goal driven person, and you're doing everything right, and according to plan, but that scale doesn't cooperate with you. I can't remember what article I just read where Chalene Johnson talked about how your body holds onto extra water when it's recovering from workouts and DOMS. So maybe it's just your new workout program, working, and soon the scale will start moving again. There's a good and bad side to having a number goal. First it inspires us and gives us something to work toward, but a pound is not a pound and when you do the type of workouts that you've been doing you're adding muscle to your body. I know I told you this before, but my friend did Insanity, to lose weight, but gained 15 pounds and went from a size 4 to a 0. So just be careful how much power you give that scale.
    1804 days ago
  • BRADMILL2922
    It is really easy to just say to not worry about it but that is so much easier said than done. No matter how many times we tell ourselves that it is just a number (and it is) it is still a very important number. It sounds like you are doing well so I would stick with what you are doing. Make sure you are getting enough water. Stick to your plan at least until your next weigh-in and see how it is going. After that, then you can make adjustments if you need too. Keep your chin up!
    1808 days ago
    You can beat back that monster!

    The fluctuation does seem maddening but don't let it get you discouraged. I agree to an extent with the other replies that it is likely water weight. You are doing everything right from what you say, the only thing that I can say is that the scale isn't the end all be all. I know that you are quite active so some of that weight could be muscle mass which in the long run will help you out.. Maybe there have been some other changes in different measures as the scale can be deceiving to a degree.

    As for your meal planning it is still the right route to take, I don't know what kind of meals you planned but if there was a shift in your diet from your non-planned to planned meals despite a low calorie count there could be other things like sodium or not enough fibre that are resulting in a negative net benefit.

    The only thing that I can suggest is to stick too it and if you can add on an extra spurt of activity if time permits. A extra walk around the block at lunch time, a few sit ups during a TV commercial, small things can add up and if your body is getting used to your routine of workout and eating maybe it is time to shake up the process a bit.
    1809 days ago
    First of all, WATER yourself silly. Water water water. Ill bet some of the fluctuation is just water weight.
    And I understand your frustration. Totally. It can be maddening!
    But stick to it. You are doing everything right, and you know this (which is probably why it's so annoying!), so something HAS to shift soon.
    Keep us posted too, since I can't wait to hear the good news from you!
    1809 days ago
    I am stuck too. emoticon
    1809 days ago
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