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Late Nite Funneeeees

Friday, May 10, 2013

Today former Pope Benedict is moving back into the Vatican. He is going to be mad when he sees that Pope Francis took down his Metallica posters. That’s right. Two Popes now under one roof. Can you believe that? Yeah, they’re just one-half Pope away from being a sitcom on CBS. -Conan O'Brien

While in Mexico, President Obama plans to promote his immigration policy. Is that really necessary? Seems the last place you have to promote immigration is Mexico. I think they’ve got it down. That’s like going to San Francisco to promote gay marriage. -Jay Leno

A man arrested for shooting at the White House says he was upset over U.S. marijuana laws. Man, if only there was some way to mellow that guy out. -Stephen Colbert

Here’s the week’s only good news: Anthony Weiner is running for mayor of New York City. He announced it earlier today in his underpants. -David Letterman
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