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The Way It Is

Thursday, May 09, 2013

So, it's check in time. Yes, I've been off Spark for more than a month. No, I haven't written anything in more than a month. I'v updated my status occasionally, and made comments on other people's blogs, but haven't written anything in quite a while.

Funny how life seems to ebb and flow. I had stopped checking out books from the library, had stopped doing a lot of reading, had not written much in my journal. And then cleaning off the desk in my room, I discovered the written word again.

So, I paid off my fine and checked out 3 books. I started writing brief commentaries in my journal and today, after an extended absence, I'm back to writing.

I'm back to collecting positive quotes also, which I post around my cubicle at work. I'm a firm believer in keeping the positive right in front of my face. The world is so full of UGLY survive we have to actively keep the good where we can see it, feel it, hear it, ingest it. It's a constant fight.

And it's a choice. Our words and actions are our choices. Many people think that they don't have choices in life, but they do. We all do. Even the space between the proverbial rock and a hard place is often times a choice. The lesser of two evils, but still a choice.

I think about the 3 women recently freed from captivity in Cleveland. That woman who got the attention of the neighbor had a choice. She could remain where she was, or find a way out. Her choice.

Sometimes it takes us a long time to realize that we do indeed have choices in life. We can accept what is, or perhaps, make a change. And with most choices, it's never really clear cut. There may be good and bad things that come with the choice.

Is it ever really cut and dried?

Once long ago in my marriage I was quite unhappy. As I was walking through the parking garage at work I had a light bulb moment. "I don't have to stay." Now, as a Catholic, I have been taught to believe that marriage is forever. And in my heart I believe that you do "give it your all" and not toss a marriage away without working to save it.

But just that simple thought, "I don't have to stay," was freeing. Because knowing that deep down I had a choice made all the difference. Of course, I would have had to weighed the positives and the negatives, but again--I had a choice.

I'm still married, by the way, to that same man. Still in love.

Many times we think we have no choice, but we do. We just don't like the consequences that go with some choices.

My elderly mother needs me. I choose to be there for her. I could choose to not be there, but what might the consequences be? Numerous. Sadness, guilt, anger from my siblings, the list goes on and on.

Try it. Look at your options. Be honest about why you make the choices you make. Face the other choice with a critical eye. You may like where you stand. Or maybe not.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Yes, it is all about the choices we have and the ones we make. Your blog reminds me of some recent "Eagles" wisdom. I was listening to their song "Already Gone" and there's a line that says this:
    "..So often times it happens that we live our life in chains and we never even know we have the key.."
    Some how this little phrase feels so empowering-all about choices....
    1842 days ago
  • _LINDA
    So glad staying with your husband turned out to be the winning choice! Oh there are such hard ones in life. I enjoy my job as Club Manager for the Bridge Club, but lately, its been interfering with my desire to do other things that I want to do. I joined a new club, purely social, that does a lot of interesting activities. I have been to some, but most I am unable to attend because of bridge conflicts. I enjoy the extra money the club gives me, but not the lack of freedom so much. My Mom waits patiently for me to have the free time to travel on the trip of a lifetime for us. But any time its seems possible, that I have finally got a lull in my endless health problems and surgeries, well, along comes an event for the club I must plan for. There is no one who can take over my position and work with the computer, do month end, and basically all the things I am required to do, not the least of which is being on first call for the security system, for members having questions about the club, statistics for our table counts, keeping track of member milestones, awards, printing posters, meal tickets, photography of all events, required presence at same and directing games as well. It keeps me busy and out of trouble, but now its become a little too intrusive. I have no free time for most other activities. I have finally booked two trips for Mom and I, but short ones only, a two day canoe trip over the weekend, and a 5 day bus tour. Unfortunately, the bus tour goes right over a special week long event at the club I am responsible for organizing and running. I can set up all the materials with step by step instructions for other people to run, but I am the only one that can access the count to provide special materials needed for these events, and also I need to sign the check that is required to pay for the special event when its done. So, it will be interesting to see the reaction I get from everyone affected. Choices. I am choosing to be selfish because my health is getting worse and my Mom isn't getting any younger and may not be around to travel with me if I don't start soon as she likes to say.
    Here is to making the choices that will enrich your life, not drag it down!
    So good to hear from you!
    1843 days ago
    Awesome, yes life is about choices and consequences of those choices!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1843 days ago
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