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Matters of My Heart

Thursday, May 09, 2013

emoticon There's a Yellow Rose in Texas; Deep in the Heart of Texas! emoticon That's me! emoticon

Note: I'm not writing any of this to get into any sort of debate on any of these matters. I'm simply stating how they affect my life. :)

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Been doin' a lot o' thinkin' 'bout "back home" and family and all that goes with it! emoticon It's sure a mixed bag for me. I wish I had more of MY family up here. Here, in the cold North! (my oh my - to some of my family I've "turned Yankee" and don't exist - LOL) I do love them still!

See, I'm going through boxes & bins & crates & books & so on, and on, and on, and on! Some of this stuff is going back to early 1800s, belonging to my kids' dad's mother's parents and their ancestors. This led me to finding a way to put facts in a safe place since it is neither practical or reasonable for me to actually keep and preserve ALL of this! We will be doing a LOT of scanning in the next few days too! All sorts of stuff is going on my computer!

Top of the "Scan" list - getting done tonight - is a series of letters regarding the maternal great great grandfather of my ex-husband (or my kids' great great great grandfather) who was seeking "invalid vouchers" based on injuries connected to his service in the 122nd Infantry out of NYC. He served the "Union" (my Southern roots run deep) from 1862-1865. There are letters from "official" state offices, Union doctors, lawyers who were in that Company B, as well as several "war buddies" citing various facts and such. One, in particular, speaks of them being in battle at Gettysburg, naming people and various facts of the battle. One also speaks of President Abraham Lincoln pardoning someone. All very interesting from a purely historical point of view.

I love history - accurate history! Therefore I will often read various sources about the same time period or event in order to get a well-rounded view of what really happened. There is so much to learn from history. Getting this perspective, firsthand from someone actually there, is what I love most! Have to say tho' - having been born & raised in a traditional Southern family whose roots run deep enough to have seen Texas in all it's many flags - reading of the very human perspective of several Union soldiers touches my heart in much the same way reading about my ancestors' firsthand accounts of Confederate soldiers. When it comes down to it all in the end we are all human... while unique, we are very similar in our hearts. We bleed, we cry, we hope, we share, we live with many of the same attributes no matter our geographical location. emoticon

All this foray into family ancestors comes at a time that I have usually taken leave of life for a day to ponder over the babies I've lost over the years. emoticon May 7th stems from the birth and death of one of my daughters. She, Katie-Sarah, stands out because of all the babies I did not get to bring home SHE was the one I did get to hold and really get to look over closely. She was so perfect! Ten tiny toes, ten long slender fingers, and a hint of red hair! I'd like to believe she even had beautiful green eyes but they never opened to see for sure. She was less than a foot long; and just over a pound in weight; and just born too, too soon 32 years ago to even be given a chance to survive. emoticon I nearly died that day too! But, recovered in time, and now live to 'tell the tale' as they say. emoticon

There were others - before and after Katie-Sarah. In total, from 9 pregnancies I've delivered 16 babies: 4 sets of twins (identical and fraternal), 4 singletons, and 1 set of quadruplets. Of all those sets of multiples, not a one remains complete. Of my 6 surviving children 2 are surviving twins or lone-twins, 1 is a singleton, and 3 are surviving quads. Within the 3 surviving quads we have 1 set of identical twins. The quads were 2 pairs of identicals; a set of boys and a set of girls. Today the odds of that combination of quads is said to be 1 in 70 million! Mine don't factor into that however because one of the boys died inutero so his existence was never documented except for the ultrasounds he is part of prior to their birth. That is just one more sad fact of human history... there are likely millions of lives no one but God and the parents know about because of man's laws about when to consider an unborn life as valid as one already born. But I take this day each year to think of all that I am truly grateful for, to give much thanks to my Creator for all his promises and the hope this gives me, and to think of ways to remind my survivors of just how much they mean to me! Each one was a real fight to bring home safe & sound.

All of this has slowed down some of my exercising & activities.....been doing way too much sitting... which makes me stiffer.... and ups the pain levels, oddly enough... so I started doing something I remember reading about somewhere here on SP emoticon I started setting a timer for the top of the hour to remind me to get up, walk around, do something active, even if just walking in place for several minutes. It gives me about a 10-15 minute break in things. It helps me stay sane after intently reading so much. It also seems to help keep pain levels lower! I don't do it every single hour... sometimes I just can't break off from the point I'm at; and occasionally my thought to "stop in a minute, after this paragraph, or after this page, etc" often takes me until the next reminder! But it definitely helps; as opposed to literally sitting in the same position for hours. emoticon

Tomorrow the family meets with yet another auctioneer. This will hopefully bring an end soon to all the stuff I have to get through. It seems never-ending. Every time someone tells me they've emptied out this room, or this closet, or this area, the next time I'm there they tell me they found something else from there! UGH! But it is finite - it has to end somewhere - right? emoticon

To end this blog on a high note....


My very own personal copy of:

So I will be doing a lot more reading this weekend... and gearing up to join others with this book to start that 2-week plan on MONDAY!!!



Hope you have a Sparkling day too! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Andee they will all be resurrected when Christ comes for His church and that I get from the Bible where David said that he can't get the baby to come back but that he would be with the baby at the resurrection. God does not lie and He has them in His hands.

    Oh for the letters that you have you can either go to the library or a museum and asked them about it and make sure that you take some with you to show but have them in a protective sleeve
    1871 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/10/2013 8:53:17 PM
    Those old letters etc...might be a nice donation to some historical society...and if you have a complete set of correspondence dating back to the Civil War era, they may be worth some money..though how you assess that and whose help you should seek, I have no idea.

    1871 days ago
    Andee, we don't really know just how many of your babies will be resurrected but rest assured, they are all in Jehovah's memory. How exciting to read so much info like that and be able to scan it in. Then put it on flash drives or an external drive for safe keeping. I got my book yesterday and need to dip in to it tomorrow when I have more time. emoticon
    1872 days ago
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