Thursday, May 09, 2013
I love Will Smith and I LOVE this quote... I can't tell you how many times in the past I would 'chase' people I wanted in my life. I guess with experience and maturity, I have come to live by this in that I believe if someone is meant to be a part of my life, it will be.
This also speaks to being yourself, authentically. I used to try to 'change' things in myself for people to please them, but now I say - love me as I am or move on.
It's not always easy, but a necessary thing for me to do in order to live a peaceful life.
Today is the day we meet with the child psychiatrist as a family and I am a bit apprehensive. With all that has been going on with my kids and all the appointments and meetings I have attended - it makes me feel like I'm doing a bad job since my kids seem so unhappy. It's really hard to swallow. But thankfully at my counselling session last night I was able to voice this and make a plan for what to say in today's meeting ... because I know in my heart I am doing the best that I can.
I am on day 11 AF today and beating my longest streak this year (and probably in a long while) of 10 days. I have no plans on breaking the streak anytime soon.
Being AF has allowed me to be strong and clear through the difficult challenges presenting themselves with me on a daily basis with my daughters as it's been like a roller coaster ride of emotions (ups but mostly downs).
I believe that things will get better as we work through this. And again, I am grateful for the other great things in my life including my work and my new friend who has given me much to smile about and oddly enough - I didn't chase him and truly playing it 'cool' and the results so far have been unlike anything I have experienced in this whole relationship thing (if I can even call it that ... I guess that's why it's different - I'm not jumping the gun and going all 'gaga' on him but enjoying each moment and liking him more and more every time I see him)...
I am seeking full balance again and working through these family issues. I know in time... this too shall pass.