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Wednesday, May 08, 2013

As I continue to read the blogs and articles in Spark, my mind has many thoughts whirling inside of it. I guess this is a prelude to my rambling....

Etiquette or "Netiquette" -- I'm not sure of the exact protocol for things. Am I supposed to send a thank you for a thank you? Am I supposed to 'friend' someone automatically if they 'friend' me? Not being a "Facebooker," I'm just not sure about these things. Someone recently added me as a friend and thanked me for adding them. I was confused because I had never seen or heard of them before! No comments, no anything!

Then someone else wrote a beautiful blog about the disappearance of Spark friends. I was really quite touched by it, as one of my first experiences with Spark Friends involved a loss, as in death of someone. Grieving for someone you never met is a very different experience. I didn't even know her real name and yet felt every bit that I had lost a real friend. We had corresponded through email a few times a week and she was the first person to reach out to me on here. Her upbeat attitude, drive and wisdom was magnetic! I still wonder all these months later what happened and I guess I'll never know. I resolved to chalking it up to "life is like that." People come and go through our lives. Some contribute a lot of love and positive energy to you and some don't. It took me years to realize that I can't control others but I certainly can control how much I let them influence me or my life. (And how is your mother-in-law these days? lol emoticon )

My first and foremost goal here is to get healthier overall. This would include physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. If I strive to eat right and move my body that should automatically spill over into a better mental and emotional well-being. Connecting with others on here -- supporting and receiving support covers all of the above as well. Pushing myself to better myself in every way is definitely the key to success. How I travel that road is up to me. I can be reclusive, as I tried to be in the beginning or I can just get comfortable and be myself as this is not a short ride! It's a journey -- with many twists and turns. I will take people at face value and hope they do the same for me. So far, so good.

Thanks for all you do. Onward we go.....

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Feline... I've never been in an active community, either. I also didn't want to make an identity for myself. And I've been astonished at home much I've been drawn in and how much I enjoy seeing a few people - including you - who have definite personalities that shine out especially brightly among the sparks.

    And I have felt happy when friends have been happy and sad when they've been sad. I am sorry to hear that your friends have died, even if you never met them. A bond is a bond, even if it was just formed.

    I think it's probably a good thing to periodically recognize the regular visitors, but not to feel compelled to write to everyone all the time. At some point, you might need that time to have a real life!
    1866 days ago
    I usually friend someone if they friend me, but I really like it when people leave a comment on my page when they friend me, so I know why they're friending me. I try to do that, and when I am friended I always send a thank you note, because one can never have too many friends! =)
    1866 days ago
    Good blog. Thanks for sharing.

    1866 days ago
    I'll share some sage and simple wisdom I learned in the rooms of overeaters anonymous, and although I don't utilize that recovery program any longer, this idea never left me.

    Take what you need, and leave the rest.

    That works for me in every aspect of life, but it works particularly well in recovery.

    1866 days ago
    Usually, I add someone if they add me or if they are always commenting on my blogs. Sometimes, people will add you because they find you to be motivating or inspiring but you don't have to add anyone you don't feel comfortable with adding.

    It is difficult to lose people, especially people who are supportive and who you interact with and learn with on your journey's to health together. Some people don't understand but that's because they aren't sparking and receiving the support from those people and reading their blogs or the messages of hope they left on your blogs.

    I am sorry you lost your friend but she it's good that you are still here working on your health because she/he wouldn't want you to give up on becoming healthier and happier.

    Good luck on your journey!

    1867 days ago
  • LILYPAD12311
    So very true and great blog! It is a journey,,,, and throughout your journey you will meet lots of people on your road,,,, some will "walk" with you part of the way,,, others will stay with you until your journey is complete.... but each is special in their own way .... and maybe meant to come into contact with you,,, to encourage you or motivated you. Good journey!
    1867 days ago
    So so so very true. I didn't realize how touched by our Peppers losses until I was in tears trying to explain to my husband about the Pepper I lost and what I'd miss most about our friendship. The anonymity of the Internet can bring out the worst in people but its so different here in Sparkland. I wish you so much success on this journey and hope you will embrace the many positive connections in this special place!
    1867 days ago
    I really can identify with your post. So far, since the inception of the Peppy Party we have lost two people who suddenly died. One was health related, the other related to violence in a foreign country. We grieved terribly for these people they seemed to be the most kindest and innocent of all. I was surprised how hard I took their deaths when truly I had never met them other than virtually. We all reached out to their families and one Winningbattle page is still open, although the other A-New-Tara is closed. I haven't the heart to remove them from our team and I won't because they are still part of all of us. Thus is the power of sparkfriends.

    By the way, I am personally glad another Canuck has come out of hiding. Specially, since you have a wonderful gift for humour and whimsy and basically crack me up! Glad you are sparking. emoticon
    1867 days ago
    Great blog!

    I was on Spark under a different name back in 2011, and I felt ever so guilty vanishing, not that I realised that I was at the time! leaving started by increments - a day off, a week, soon it was months, and even though a few people emailed to keep in touch (which I appreciated) I just felt in a very dark place and unable/unwilling to face the world.

    I looked for my old pals when I returned, but sadly they'd disappeared too. I hope that's because they had met their goals and felt equipped to move on. And when a recent friend took some time off and went quite, I turned into the person sending goodies and checking up, hoping that the prompting would make them feel supported.

    The whole experience taught me a lesson: even when I'm at a bit of a loss, if I can just dash a few words down, or read a blog, or make an action plan or ... do something! I can still feel like I'm progressing, and as long as that's happening then there's nothing to feel blue about.

    Sparkpals like your good-self are a major part of inspiring that progress. I'd be at a loss without the support - probably secretly eating Mars Bars somewhere, pretending to myself that I'll restart tomorrow!
    1867 days ago
    thank you for your post! I enjoyed it.
    1867 days ago
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